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Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Hey guys!

 

This week we're having a slow-mo GR to do with Life transitions and fears about growing up! Smiley Very Happy

 

growing up GIF

 

Different stages of your life can bring huge changes, and these changes can honestly be terrifying! 

 

Friends friends season 9 episode 15 old GIF

 

At the same time they're a huge opportunity for growth and for discovering things about yourself Heart

 

Toy Story 4 Disney GIF

 

It can be hard to know what different transitions if your life will mean for you and what they will look like, and this fear and uncertainty is what we're going to be discussing! 

 

growing up youth GIF

 

 

So this week we'll be posting a question each weekday about Life transitions and fears of growing up! For people who are coming across these chats for the first time, 'Getting Reals' are themed chats here on RO that provide an opportunity for us to share our different insights, experiences, and opinions with one another!  Heart Smiley Very Happy

 

If at all you find this conversation distressing or you feel like you need to talk to someone about any issue then you can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat and email services found on their respective sites. The links can be found here. If you are new here then welcome! Have a quick peek at our community guidelines you can find them here!

 

Would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this one! Smiley Very Happy Feel free to jump in! Heart We'll be posting our first question later today! Smiley Very Happy




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We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart
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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Super excited for this one @ecla34 !! And can I just say, your GIF game is EXCEPTIONAL! Smiley Very Happy

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Check out our community activities calendar for August 2020 here
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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Hey peeps! Loving the GIFs as well Smiley Very Happy

 

Here's our first question to kick things off:

 

What do you consider to be a life transition? What does growing up mean to you?

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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish
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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

What do you consider to be a life transition? What does growing up mean to you?
I consider a life transition to be any change in my life. I think a lot of life transitions involve taking on a new role, such as going from being a high school student to a university student, becoming part of a blended family, finding work, losing someone close to you, becoming a carer, becoming someone with a chronic illness, etc. A life transition can be a good thing or a bad thing. It could be something that I've planned for or something that comes unexpectedly.
I think growing up is different for each person and that some of the major events that people associate with growing up may not be applicable to everyone. For example, I can't see myself getting married or having children. I think growing up can involve having greater responsibilities and being able to do more things. I think it is an ongoing process and we continue to grow as we get older. Growing up doesn't stop at a certain age.

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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Hi everyone!

Here's our next question:
Describe a time in your life when you've navigated a life transition. What was this like to experience?

giphy

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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

What do you consider to be a life transition? What does growing up mean to you?

To me, growing up is a never ending process in life. There is always something for us to learn. I consider life transitions to be periods of time where core parts of your identity or circumstances change. It could be finishing school, moving home, changing job, ending a relationship.

 

Describe a time in your life when you've navigated a life transition. What was this like to experience?

 

One that stands out was the end of a very important relationship. We had to move out of the home we had lived in together for two years and move back home with our parents. It's was such a painful time. Seeing that home empty and shutting the door on it for the last time was one of the most heart breaking things I've ever felt. 

 

I navigated it by reconnecting with other important relationships in my life. I spent quality time with myself and learnt to be my own friend. It wasn't easy but it was one of the most important experiences I've ever had. 

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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

What do you consider to be a life transition? What does growing up mean to you?

I consider a life transition to be a substantial shift in how your life operates. Like changing or leaving educational institutions, the beginning or end of meaningful relationships, beginning/leaving/changing jobs or careers, ditto for religion, moving locations, changing family dynamics, becoming ill/injured or recovering from an illness or injury... I think it's any change in your life that is significant to you and results in a 'new normal' in some way. For me growing up is about the process of changing from a baby to an adult (with all the steps in between), and how you learn and change along the way. I associate increasing freedoms, responsibilities and abilities with this process. I think there's still many things to learn and ways to change and mature and life transitions to experience as an adult, but for me the label 'growing up' doesn't really seem to describe my experiences well any more most of the time as someone who's been an adult/living independently for quite a while.

 

Describe a time in your life when you've navigated a life transition. What was this like to experience?

 

So many to choose from. I'll go with moving from primary school to high school. It involved getting prepared for high school (books/uniforms/orientation etc) and adjusting to all the changes. Learning my timetable, where all the buildings were, testing out making friends and who I wanted to spend time with, emotionally processing that there were some teachers and kids who were pretty mean, figuring out how to take the bus, adjusting to there being no play equipment at lunch, learning the grading system and different expectations for schoolwork... I struggled a bit with it and didn't love high school, but keeping things I could that I'd appreciated in previous life stages (like my best friend, and sports, and my dog) helped. And I found I needed to grieve a bit for my primary school that I'd mostly found really positive. Finding and getting to know some new friends was good too. And taking pride in my school work. And finding positives like being able to choose some subjects. And getting practical help sometimes (asking people for directions, asking my sister to show me how to make a bibliography, asking my siblings questions about the bus process). 

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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Happy middle of the week! Smiley Very Happy
Next question!

 

What has going through a life transition told you about yourself? Did you learn anything by going through it? Is there anything that you would do differently if you had to chance to relive the transition? What advice would you give to someone who has gone through a similar transition?

 

school education GIF by SoulPancake




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We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart
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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Describe a time in your life when you've navigated a life transition. What was this like to experience?
I've had to navigate so many life transitions, but I'd like to talk about how I became a carer. With my grandparents, it was a gradual process because they became more frail with age and their dementia symptoms gradually increased, although they weren't officially diagnosed for years. My sister had mobility problems for years, but caring for her came quite suddenly because she suddenly became unable to walk and got a lot worse. Suddenly, she had to stop going to a physical school, someone had to stay with her all the time, I had to stay with my grandma when my parents were at the hospital with my sister and I had to do a lot more things at home and abandon plans I had made for myself. Her unexpected decline was a really hard thing for my family to go through and we've all coped differently. We had no time to prepare for it at all and no one told me or the rest of the family what her condition meant and how to care for her. I'm still learning things constantly.

What has going through a life transition told you about yourself? Did you learn anything by going through it? Is there anything that you would do differently if you had to chance to relive the transition? What advice would you give to someone who has gone through a similar transition?
That I'm not only a carer, I'm an advocate. I've had to learn to be flexible with my plans and I would say that the process has shown me that I am resilient. Caring for my family members has forever changed my view of the world. I used to think experiencing certain medical conditions were bad but in some cases it would have been easier if my sister was experiencing them instead of having FND. Prior to her illness, I didn't know that you could need urgent treatment and doctors, organisations and government bodies would be unwilling to help you in any way. We were told yesterday by a neurologist that if she continues to be bedbound, her muscles will waste and the chances of her ever walking again will be slim, but they did not suggest anything to help whatsoever. There is so much stigma and misinformation out there too. Today, we were told by a psychologist that we baby my sister too much by caring for her and that we should just leave her on the floor when she falls to see if she will get up on her own (she can't and could easily injure herself due to her osteoporosis if she does so). We are often told that we are to blame for my sister's condition, but we did not do anything to trigger her FND. So, I've had to learn to stand up for myself and my family members and correct people.
There are lots of things I would have done differently over the years. I would have insisted on second opinions, said no to unreasonable demands, appealed for help more, organised appointments with other professionals when some proved to be unreliable, looked after my own health more, traveled more when I had the chance, spoken up and voiced my concerns more. I'm sure I could come up with even more things.
I would tell other young carers to make sure that the person you are caring for has an advance care directive. Do not wait for them to be unable to make decisions for themselves. The earlier you do this with them, the better. If you have concerns about their symptoms, tell their doctor or other family members. Organise assessments, care packages and hospital admissions as soon as possible because there can be long waiting lists. If a doctor is telling you something that you don't agree with, listen to your gut and get a second opinion, or ask them what the purpose of having a particular treatment would be. Research carer-specific supports in your area. Make a care plan about what kind of care your loved one requires and know where you can access emergency care or respite because you never know if you'll suddenly be unable to care for them. Enjoy your life while you can, practice self-care and gratitude. Don't take anything for granted because life can change in an instant.

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Re: Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Hi all!
Happy Thursday!

Here's our fourth question:
What kinds of life transitions can you imagine experiencing in the future? What are the benefits of going through them? What do you fear about going through them? Is there anything you can do to prepare yourself for them?

giphy