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Survival Guide: Family Conflict

I remember sitting with my back pressed up against the bedroom door, my hands clasped around my ears, drowning out the shouting. This was one of those moments that brought everything crashing back to reality. My parents and sisters were just people too.

No family is perfect. That may be a bit grating on ears for some, whereas for others the realisation has already sunk in. Families being composed of people, each with their own individual views and problems, will always have disagreements at some stage; big and small. It is normal.

 

Arguments can start from almost anything: communication, having different values or even fighting over who ate the last Tim Tam. While we may not always agree with everyone in our family what is important is how we deal with these situations. Why? Because, even though we are all individuals what holds a family together is an underlying love for one another. Something we are prone to forget. Also, while we may not always be directly involved in a fight, being within such a tight knit group of people for whom we all care for, the tension affects everyone.

 

When conflict occurs in some relationships we have the luxury of leaving the argument and going somewhere else to cool down or think, but when conflict occurs in our own home with people we see everyday it can be hard to cool down or think things through.

 

In this session, we’ll talk through things we can do next time to stop the situation from getting worse or to avoid it, as well as discuss good ways to talk about it. We’ll also touch on places you can go to  get help if the conflict turns into something more serious.


So come join us this Monday at 8pm AEST on Getting Real to share your tips on how you can avoid or cope with disagreements within your family. Let's build a Survival Guide together. 

 

 

For more information on family conflicts check out this handy factsheet.

 

 

Here's Jess talking about her story with her family

 

 Or check out this info on dealing with family conflict - yr parents

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**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

Welcome guys to tonight’s GR session Smiley Happy

Tonight we’ll be discussing the prickly topic of family conflicts and how to deal with them. Facilitating tonight’s session we have the beautiful Ruenhonx and Rosie as well as myself.

 

If you find tonight’s discussion to be a bit overwhelming remember to take a break, or go to the emergency help tab in the top right hand corner. Also to keep the discussion safe and friendly for everyone please stick to the guidelines.

 

So let get to it with the first question of the night!

 

How do you feel when other family members are in conflict? How do you handle the situation?

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

Hey guys!  Great to be here. Family conflict is something that EVERYONE has to deal with at some point or another, so I'm looking forward to hearing all of your thoughts. 

 

For me it really depends on the family member. When it's an aunty that is yelling about something really insignificant I'm usually just like: 

 

Awks

 

But when it's someone I'm close to, or two people I really care about who are yelling, it can be friggin hard to watch/hear/hear about. I usually end up yelling too, but I try and calm everyone down so we can all take a minute.

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And still, I rise.

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

How do you feel when other family members are in conflict? How do you handle the situation?

I feel very hurt, even when it is nothing to do with me I hate when people argue and I really hate confrontation. I normally act as the peacemaker which kinda backfires but sometimes it just helps cool everything down. 

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**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

Hey Rosie Smiley Happy

I'm very much the same when it comes to family conflicts. When it's close family being my parents or sisters, it can be very awkward! Everything is so silent and then an argument will just flare up.

When I was younger I usually just stayed out of the way and let things run their course. But in more recent times I've tried to help them cool off, by talking to them separately, so things don't escalate.

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

Great point @michine ! Getting in early, or before things turn sour, is something I try to do.... It's not always easy to predict, but I think with people you know really well you usually know the things that will set them off!

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And still, I rise.

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

@Rosie: Very true. I've always found that it starts of as a small disagreement about something and then it mutates into a clashing of personalities far beyond the initial argument which is when people get hurt; both those in the argument or other family members (collateral damage!). 

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

We would love to hear your comments everyone because family arguments are pretty frequent so maybe we can find ways to deal with them and still keep our mental wellbeing stable Smiley Happy

 

What are some arguments/disagreements you have dealt with in your family?

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**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

SO MANY tricial things. 

 

who ate the last of the XXXX

who farted

who walked to dog/didn't walk the dog/has never walked the dog

who embarrased who at what event

 

It's funny how you havce no filter with family, any tiny thing that annoys you ends up being spoken about. 

 

My family and I also have a lot of unspoken conflict... sometimes the more difficult things are just left unsaid and we all seethe in silence instead.

 

 

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And still, I rise.

Re: Survival Guide: Family Conflict

Sometimes it just feels like there are so many! Smiley Sad

About a couple of weeks back my oldest sister was having a go at my little sister for not doing the dishes after dinner with a pretty snarky attitude. This escalated extremely quickly, more so due to the attitude both had rather than the actual issue but anyway...
I got the two to separate as it had just become a shiite slinging match with each trying to out scream the other. I talked to my little sister to calm her down and gave her space after that.

@Rosie: With 3 sisters I get into fights all the time for farting, luckily they only last as long as the smell Smiley Wink