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Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks

How can you tell when you are taking your own stress out on someone  else, rather than having a legitimate issue with them?

 

It's usually when I'm agitated and frustrated.  There's a lot of hand gesturing and yelling.  My face has more wrinkles then an 80 yr old woman, because I have it screwed up so tight.

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Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks

How can you tell when you are taking your own stress out on someone  else, rather than having a legitimate issue with them?

 

For me it feels wrong afteRwards. you feel better but generally the situation is not resolved and what you were stressed about is still on your mind

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks


@Cesj wrote:

Who have I taken my stress out on?

 

Usually i take it out on my sister and friends, especially if I am low (diabetic). Half the time I dont realise what I am doing till I feel better then feel so guilty. If I shutdown I dont talk to anyone unless its absolutely necessary, until I can get somewhere where I can let out what I am feeling alone.

 

What stresses me out

Uni

Work

writing graduate applications, somehow tyring to decide what I am going to do the rest of my life is driving me crazy

keeping myself from getting depressed

generally pretty stressed out at the moment


Hmm it seems as though our sisters and loved ones seem to cop quite a bit of our brunt! Sagira had some great advice earlier on being aware of your mental state, but in the case that it may be caused by a medical conditions I guess that can be very difficult to do.

 

Those graduate apps are soo long!

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks

How can you tell when you are taking your own stress out on someone else, rather than having a legitimate issue with them?

Maybe if you are just getting angry over random stuff, rather than something specific?

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks


@Sophie-RO wrote:
@sagira: you probably are all over this, but do you have any mindfulness or CBT techniques that you can use to try catch yourself getting caught up in a spin thinking about the past?

 

Smiley Happy  I'm all over it Sophie!! (thank you!!)  It has worked wonders.  But I'm finding that my thoughts and feelings etc are getting a lot more fierce and louder, as I'm starting to shut down my ego a lot.  Some days are better then others...
I'm working on it quite a bit with my psych as well...I'm going to give this new technique called ACT http://www.actmindfully.com.au/  a go with her aswell.  I'm not quite 'ready' to go there yet, as the progressive workshops require me to open up to a lot of things I haven't discussed at all with her yet.

But yes...everyone should heed this advice, as it's beneficial to absolutely every aspect of your life.  Really, really.

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks

How can you tell when you are taking your own stress out on someone  else, rather than having a legitimate issue with them?

 

I guess when you are using some little annoyance which you’d usually ignore or not care about as an excuse to have a go at them.

 

@DD: Yeah sometimes any little thing can do. In my case I've snapped over someone eating the last packet of chips.

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks


@delicatedreamer wrote:

Maybe if you are just getting angry over random stuff, rather than something specific?

 

Oh yes...days when you feel like the whole world has it in for you!!  Or you're just extra sensitive and snappy.  Days like that are awful.

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks


@michine wrote:

@Cesj wrote:

Who have I taken my stress out on?

 

Usually i take it out on my sister and friends, especially if I am low (diabetic). Half the time I dont realise what I am doing till I feel better then feel so guilty. If I shutdown I dont talk to anyone unless its absolutely necessary, until I can get somewhere where I can let out what I am feeling alone.

 

What stresses me out

Uni

Work

writing graduate applications, somehow tyring to decide what I am going to do the rest of my life is driving me crazy

keeping myself from getting depressed

generally pretty stressed out at the moment


Hmm it seems as though our sisters and loved ones seem to cop quite a bit of our brunt!


Oh yes...I know mine is always on the receiving end.  Usually because she's the one actually causing my stress to start off with.

 

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks

That's an interesting site sagira ! Thanks. 

 

I think many of us can use a few nifty tricks that can help us better manage our stress and the way we react to it.

And with practice I'm sure we'll get some terrific results.

 

Re: Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks


@_sagira_ wrote:

 I'm just so caught up in what I have to do, or what I should be doing, or what I haven't done; instead of focusing on the moment.  The here and now and what I can do in this instant.


This happens to me a lot too _sagira_. I get so worried about what I'm not doing or haven't done and that I don't have enough time that I get paralysed by fear so to speak, and get even less done.