Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.

delicatedreamer · ‎20-08-2012

@dilz wrote:
@EmilyJ wrote:
What are the best reasons to have sex? What are the worst reasons ?

There are almost infinite answers to this... I think the best reasons will differe person to person.
Good point. I guess it's important not to judge when people have sex. As long as they feel ready and they are not being forced into it then it should be accepted.
Perhaps that's one reason why sex is stigmatised. Because some people have the idea that only certain reasons and conditions are acceptable...

Yeah, I think that's a good point.

nik-nak92 · ‎20-08-2012

Hey sorry, hope it's okay to answer the first ones....

Do you think sex is a difficult topic for people to talk openly about? If so why?

For me it was very difficult - but over the last 2 years it has gotten easier. I also find it hardest to talk to parents/family about it - but at the same time I can't lie, so if anyone ever asks me anything I pretty much always answer them truthfully... I guess that's how it's gotten easier for me over the last 2 years - because I've been pretty open about it from the start I am gradually getting more and more comfortable with talking to my family and friends about it. In saying that, if I'm ever worried about anything I'll only ever talk to my sister (best friend) about it.

I think it's difficult to talk about because it is generally considered wrong to have sex at a young age - I tend to agree with this, a person should be mature before entering into a sexual relationship because often kids can be too young to understand the implications - not just the physical (pregnancy, STDs/STIs etc) but also the mental effects.

What are the best reasons to have sex?

Pretty much agree with the other comments - being in a loving relationship, its all about expressing your love for the other person.

What are the worst reasons?

Trying to fit in with a certain crowd or stereotype, or having sex because you think it's cool - or that it makes you seem cool to other people. One reason I have heard recently from a group of young males is to get their numbers up.... This is (in my opinion) the very worst reason I have ever heard.

delicatedreamer · ‎20-08-2012

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting ?

I haven't had sex and I think having sex for the first time is a really big deal.

EmilyJ · ‎20-08-2012

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting ?

I think for some people, first time driving or voting IS a big deal... So I'm not quite sure how to go about answering this.

I think it depends on the situation, and the reasons behind choosing to have sex. It is obviously something that needs a lot of consideration, and isn't something you want to regret years down the track, so I think it's a big deal, but perhaps for different reasons than just saying it's "another first"

Bridget Drayton · ‎20-08-2012

Yes it is a difficult topic to talk about because depending on the person, you don't know how to start the conversation, and its a very private thing to talk about also because its a topic no one really wants to talk about because it can be quite uncomfortable

dilz · ‎20-08-2012

Hi NikNak! Welcome

So many great points!!!

It's great that you've become more comfortable talking about sex and that you have your sister who you can tell everything to. She sounds great.

I love that you brought up the mental effects of sex. It can be quite a life changing decision... and this can often be overlooked by many yong people.

fosterthepeople · ‎20-08-2012

@nik-nak92 wrote:

I think it's difficult to talk about because it is generally considered wrong to have sex at a young age - I tend to agree with this, a person should be mature before entering into a sexual relationship because often kids can be too young to understand the implications - not just the physical (pregnancy, STDs/STIs etc) but also the mental effects.

Welcome nik-nak92 !

Good point - the generally considered wrong to have sex at a young age. The emotional side of things is sometimes a latter thought isn't it.

nik-nak92 · ‎20-08-2012

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting?

I think it is a big deal. Or maybe to put it in different words, it should be important. I always planned on remaining a virgin until I was married, but I let myself get talked into accepting that it was okay, and I was in a relationship with the person and thought that he would be the one that I would marry anyway - so in my mind, he was going to be the only one.

I think it seems like it is getting less and less important... :-/

dilz · ‎20-08-2012

Hi Bridget!!

Welcome to Getting Real...and Welcome to Reach Out ...or welcome back if you've transfered over to the new site

_sagira_ · ‎20-08-2012

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting ?

For me it's pretty huge. I haven't had sex myself yet and I'm probably the only one out of all the people I know. But that's okay with me. Because I have never been ready, I have trust issues and it's a HUGE thing to do with another person. It's intimate and close. I could never imagine being able to fall into it so easily and believing it means nothing.

EDIT: ...and making it so 'casual' for the first time. There is nothing casual about it.