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Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


@EmilyJ wrote:

 

I think for some people, first time driving or voting  IS a big deal... So I'm not quite sure how to go about answering this.


So true. How someone percevies something is a big contributing factor. For some people sex may not be a big deal but just another part of life. For others because it's personal and intimate it may be more important in some ways.

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


@nik-nak92 wrote:

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting?


I think it is a big deal. Or maybe to put it in different words, it should be important. I always planned on remaining a virgin until I was married, but I let myself get talked into accepting that it was okay, and I was in a relationship with the person and thought that he would be the one that I would marry anyway - so in my mind, he was going to be the only one.

I think it seems like it is getting less and less important... :-/


I know this wasn't quite the question, but nik-nak's response prompted this in my mind - I think it's the first time that's built up to be a big deal, and while I agree it is something that should be important, I think it loses it's importance, and people consider it less once the first time is over. This is not necessarily a good thing - I think in general people become more lax about decisions around sex once they've lost their virginity.

 

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


@_sagira_ wrote:

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting ?

 


For me it's pretty huge.  I haven't had sex myself yet and I'm probably the only one out of all the people I know.  But that's okay with me.  Because I have never been ready,  I have trust issues and it's a HUGE thing to do with another person.  It's intimate and close.  I could never imagine being able to fall into it so easily and believing it means nothing.


I completely agree with this.

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


@_sagira_ wrote:

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting ?

 


For me it's pretty huge.  I haven't had sex myself yet and I'm probably the only one out of all the people I know.  But that's okay with me.  Because I have never been ready,  I have trust issues and it's a HUGE thing to do with another person.  It's intimate and close.  I could never imagine being able to fall into it so easily and believing it means nothing.

 

EDIT:  ...and making it so 'casual' for the first time.  There is nothing casual about it.


I'm on the same boat here. I'll be one to admit as well that I haven't had sex yet either. 

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


@_sagira_ wrote:

Is having sex for the first time a big deal, or just like other firsts, like driving or voting ?

 


For me it's pretty huge.  I haven't had sex myself yet and I'm probably the only one out of all the people I know.  But that's okay with me.  Because I have never been ready,  I have trust issues and it's a HUGE thing to do with another person.  It's intimate and close.  I could never imagine being able to fall into it so easily and believing it means nothing.

 

EDIT:  ...and making it so 'casual' for the first time.  There is nothing casual about it.


I'm on the same boat here. I'll be one to admit as well that I haven't had sex yet either. 

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.

I feel that having sex for the first time is a big deal!
Some people might act as though it's nothing but surely everone feels nervous? 
As a virgin I get nervous at just the thought of it. lol


Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


@EmilyJ wrote:

I know this wasn't quite the question, but nik-nak's response prompted this in my mind - I think it's the first time that's built up to be a big deal, and while I agree it is something that should be important, I think it loses it's importance, and people consider it less once the first time is over. This is not necessarily a good thing - I think in general people become more lax about decisions around sex once they've lost their virginity.


This makes so much sense ...I have never thought about it that way. 

\

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.

Hi MsHarry Smiley Happy
@MsHarry wrote:

I feel that having sex for the first time is a big deal!
Some people might act as though it's nothing but surely everone feels nervous? 
As a virgin I get nervous at just the thought of it. lol


I think it is very normal to be nervous about it and I think it's a good thing that you are. It shows that it really does mean a lot to you and that you want to wait for the right moment. 

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


EmilyJ wrote

I know this wasn't quite the question, but nik-nak's response prompted this in my mind - I think it's the first time that's built up to be a big deal, and while I agree it is something that should be important, I think it loses it's importance, and people consider it less once the first time is over. This is not necessarily a good thing - I think in general people become more lax about decisions around sex once they've lost their virginity.


That's what I'm worried about as well. There's always the lingering thought that what if I start treating it casual. Then the name calling like slut and stuff happens. Which might be one of the reasons I'm putting a lot of importance on the first time - another source of pressure: movies.

Highlighted

Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.


@fosterthepeople wrote:

- another source of pressure: movies.

 

Oh this is a huge one!  A lot of kids get a false sense of reality believing that what they see in films are realities.  And it's so not true.