Re: To sex or not to sex? That is the question.

EmilyJ · ‎20-08-2012

What fears do you have about sex?

I suppose the first time is a fear othe unknown - not being good enough, not knowing how, being judged, making mistakes, embarassing moments, and things like pregnancy, STIs, contraception etc.

Again I think it differs for everyone, and will be different for every single time you have sex over the course of your life. They day you don't have a concern about sex is the day you will start slipping up and making mistakes.

_sagira_ · ‎20-08-2012

Also...the other person as well...dependant on their experience etc. and what they expect from it.

fosterthepeople · ‎20-08-2012

what about being "experienced" ?

there's pressure about that as well i think. and all you want is to make your partner happy. it's already a strange experience enough for first timers the pressure doesn't help.

_sagira_ · ‎20-08-2012

@fosterthepeople wrote:

What fears do you have about sex?
STDS ! did i scare you ?

OH HELL YEAH!! That does freak me out. Sometimes I feel better off not having to worry about it. Also the imminant PAP SMEAR. Yeah I'd like to go as long as I can without that.

delicatedreamer · ‎20-08-2012

What fears do you have about sex?

That it will hurt, that I will freak out, that I'll be talked into doing something I don't want to do, that I'll get an STI and that something will go wrong. However the main one is that I won't live up to the other persons expectations. That I won't make it a good experience for them or that I won't be adventurous enough, or that I won't be ready when they want me to be... I know most of this stuff is silly but I can't help it. Can you tell I'm a worrier?! Haha.

nik-nak92 · ‎20-08-2012

@fosterthepeople wrote:
@nik-nak92 wrote:
Oh, just thought of another 'pressure' too... I have been listening to music for the last hour or so, just had my iPod on shuffle - and I think almost every 2nd or 3rd song has sexual references (maybe it just means I need new songs!! lol)... Is it really that hard for artists to find other things to sing about??
totally get what you mean. it's a little sad that sex sells so well. do you think it might be helping the younger generation be more comfortable with the idea of sexuality and sex though ? it's not always accurate though. i think it does both. it helps the younger generation be more free yet at the same time it's not the whole or best message

You could be right there... I guess it would help younger people feel more comfortable about sex - maybe there should be some educational sex songs on the top hits charts lol...

EmilyJ · ‎20-08-2012

@fosterthepeople wrote:

what about being "experienced" ?

there's pressure about that as well i think. and all you want is to make your partner happy. it's already a strange experience enough for first timers the pressure doesn't help.

What about two virgins together? Less pressure, but potential recipe for disaster in terms of having a positive first time sex experience. Sex is awkward, there are a million embarrassing things that happen, and if neither partner is experienced then you don't know how to deal with it - that's scary I think!

_sagira_ · ‎20-08-2012

@delicatedreamer wrote:
What fears do you have about sex?

That it will hurt, that I will freak out, that I'll be talked into doing something I don't want to do, that I'll get an STI and that something will go wrong. However the main one is that I won't live up to the other persons expectations. That I won't make it a good experience for them or that I won't be adventurous enough, or that I won't be ready when they want me to be... I know most of this stuff is silly but I can't help it. Can you tell I'm a worrier?! Haha.

Oh I think that's very common! I'm not too worried about the act itself, I'm more scared about the lead up to it and whether or not I will be truly ready. That's my problem.

dilz · ‎20-08-2012

What fears do you have about sex?

STDs and Pregnancy are big for me, but I also find the act a bit daunting because it is so intimate and it will no doubt change the relationship (maybe not for the better).

EmilyJ · ‎20-08-2012

Also what about fear of having sex changing the quality of the relationship - it can bring you closer, but it depends on the individuals and could end up with you acting differently around each other, particularly if one or both of you feels they weren't entirely ready for sex in hindsight.