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Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

@gail  Oh you're all over it!!  Awesome tips there.

I always seem to know exactly what to say to a friend and allow them to view things from other perspectives.  If only I would take it on board myself a little more!

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

Good ideas guys! & Sagira it sounds like you really helped out your friend - that's awesome!

 

So... Now to think about yourself. What are three awesome, unique, positive things about YOU?

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

Hmmm...I'll have to dig deep for this one.

 

What are three awesome, unique, positive things about YOU?


I have been told I'm very calming (but not to myself!)

Good listener and hear what I'm being told

Open and welcoming

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

That sounds like it was a really awesome way to help your friend sagira Smiley Happy

What are three awesome, unique, positive things about YOU?

Hmm. This is a tough one...

1. I like helping people.
2. I always try my best.
3. I am creative.

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

Yay!

 

To answer my own question...

 

1. I'm a good friend.

2. I do my best to make a positive difference.

3. I try to see the positive in everything.

 

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

What are three awesome, unique, positive things about YOU?

 

Wow that's hard!

 

1. I'm a good listener. 

2. I'm caring towards others and love helping them.

3. I've improved a lot mentally and academically over the last year. 

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

Woot! Look at all those positives about ourselves! Smiley Very Happy

Thanks for joining us tonight everyone. Your thoughts and ideas have been amazing! Here's a summary of what we discussed. Smiley Happy

 

We all agreed that it was really important to feel positively about ourselves. Several was this could impact on our lives includes impacting on our self image and self-esteem, how we act and think, effect our performance at work, school/uni and in other areas like volunteering. It can also effect the way we socialise, our motivation levels and whether we attempt new things and branch out. However it can be important to acknowledge the negatives too so we can reach a balance, so long as we don't dwell on them.

 

Some people might be more positive than others because they have a better self worth, higher self-esteem and a clearer understanding of their values/skills, they understand and take care of their body (physical and mental health can impact each other). For some it's in their nature or personality, their experiences and how others treat them, and how they choose to treat themselves (we can practise self care and build ourselves up).

 

 Many people find it easier to come up with negatives about themselves rather than positives. Some reasons why this might be are that we get into negative thought patterns and the habit of labelling ourselves or viewing ourselves badly and it can be difficult to change it. Sometimes it could be that that's what others have pointed out to us or that we've had others reinforce those negative thoughts in some way whether at school, work, by our friends or family, etc.

 

Gail shared one of her favourite quotes: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right" (Henry Ford).

You identified that how you feel about yourself, especially if it's negative, can impact on how well you can reach your goals. DD pointed out that she can sometimes get into a bit of a cycle and become a self fulfilling prophecy and Gail then provided the example of a negative cycle:  "belief that we're not capable --> not putting in as much effort because we don't think we'll achieve anyway --> not achieving --> reinforces believe that we're not capable."

 

Leading on from that we discussed how you could overcome negative thinking. Acceptance was one suggestion and realising that you are who you are now. Try to balance your thinking out and not dwell on the negatives and look at how you could view them differently.

The tools or strategies you had for challenging negative thoughts of beliefs about yourself included:  separating yourself from the negative thoughts, reminding yourself that they are not you and looking for replacements for them. Using the thought-challenging questions from the Challenging Negative Thinking factsheet and the Turning Positives to Negatives thread on the forums.  Question whether there's evidence for your thoughts. Keep a positivity book or use post-it notes to remind you of the good things about yourself and what you do- or get some friends to write some warm fuzzies for you!

  

Sometimes it's easier to think positively about others than about ourselves… If you had a friend who was feeling down on themselves some of  your suggestions to them to help them feel better about themselves were helping them to see the positives in situations and to write a list of positives about themselves. Also to focus on the now, what they're doing and what they can change rather than what has already happened in the past.

 

We finished by looking at 3 positive things about ourselves. Smiley Happy If you're reading this some time after the session try to think of some about yourself! 

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

Yay! Thanks for an awesome discussion tonight guys, it was really interesting Smiley Happy. And thanks LUTW and gail for facilitating. Good night! Smiley Happy

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

Smiley Wink  Excellent thank you lightuptheworld and gail for running the session tonight.

Re: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

Thanks for the summary LUTW!

 

And thanks to everyone who joined in - it was great to hear your thoughts! Maybe we should take those positives we identified about ourselves and put them somewhere to remind us that we're pretty okay Smiley Happy

 

Goodnight guys, have a good week!