[CHAT] Forgiveness
FORGIVENESS! 
If a person hurt us there are two ways to go about it; either ignore it and move on or to take revenge and be even. It's not always easy to take the high road, to just forgive and let go when someone's done you wrong. It maybe intentional or unintentional but it already did some damage. I know that it takes a lot of courage to forgive someone and forgiving is one step forward into breathing more easier! But what good does hurting another person do to you? It doesn't make you any better. But standing by and ignoring your hurt feelings isn't good either. So here we are stick in a pickle!
But how do we forgive the people that hurt us? Would you choose to take the high road? How long does it take to forgive someone that hurt us? Do we choose who we forgive? Can you still go back to the way it was? Are we capable of giving them a second chance?
Come and join us on the 7th of August at 7:30 pm AEST to discuss ways we can forgive and forget and share your thoughts about forgiveness! If you have any questions, feel free to comment!
Forgiveness is hard. Trying to forgive someone who hurt me very badly but didnt know what she was doing due to mental illness. The anger is so strong. Not an easy path to take to forgive her when she hasnt yet acknowledged her mental illness and is unable to accept responsibility due to the illness.
Ugh that is very hard @Arrow it's tough when a person doesn't understand the impact they have had because of the illness 😞
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Welcome!, Tonight we'll be talking about forgiveness!
Forgiveness is not always easy. It's often very hard. Hopefully this GR can help generate a few ideas and help us all onto the right track 🙂
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Hey. I'm just quickly popping in cause I gotta go to my game but I like this topic. It's a really tricky one and it's something I've had to learn to deal with. I've had to learn to forgive a parent who has done some unforgivable things that still takes its toll on me. Forgiveness for me is a path of self-realisation. That I am more worth more than the 'bully' or the person that has done something unforgivable. It's accepting what I cannot control of others but knowing that I have complete control over what I choose to do with it. To me forgiveness is sort of like acceptance but not submission. I won't tolerate someone intentionally causing harm but forgiveness I feel is better than anger and hate..which i dealt with for a long time. I agree that it also means to 'let go' - to let go of the hate and know that there is still light.
3. What are some of the benefits of forgiveness? (consider the benefits that are available for both yourself and the other person/people)
- Nothing is being held on the other person
- They don't have that weight on their shoulders
- You can accept that you've been wronged...
- and learn from it!
- It's a good way to prevent more confrontation
- You can build a better relationship with the other person
4. What are some of the negatives involved in refusing to forgive somebody? (for both yourself and the other person)
4. What are some of the negatives involved in refusing to forgive somebody?
- Could ruin the relationship
- Make them feel more guilty than they are
- Could make you feel guilty for making them feel guilty if later on you want to forgive them but can't contact them
For you:
- you continue harbouring negative feelings which may affect your overall mental health
- you spend unnecessary time in an overly negative mindset
- it may ruin your relationship/friendship with that person
- it may ruin your relationship/friendship with other people connected to that person
For them
- they may have a ruined relationship/friendship with you
- they harbour guilt about the event
- you both have broken communication over the issue
"that happened to me and it wasn't good but i have grown from it"
just speaking from my experience...
@j95 wrote:
I guess this is a hard topic for me because i have heard people say how everyone deserves a second chance and forgiveness is the best way forward but shit, i don't know about that, theres certain people who don't deserve a second chance
I think that's right and to @j95 and @LadyMacbeth00 and when it's at that point as @basketofmonkeys said forgiveness isn't so much about second chances as it is about not carrying that hurt that you have suffered from the person around with you. Because doing so means that what they did becomes worse and worse for you over time :(. So maybe it's not so much forgiveness in that circumstance but letting go? Hmmm
