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Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

@stonepixie  @Lightuptheworld 

Weird because i met my boyfriend at swimming training and the only reason we got together was because we were in the same friendship group .... which we did know for a long time

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

@Lightuptheworld That is awesome. I met an ex of mine on a pub crawl.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

My closest friends were my lab partners at uni.

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

 

Hi Everyone! I'm very late but haven't been to one of these for ages so thought I'd chime in anyway. Hope you're all well.

What does being social even mean?


I think being social means engaging with people. Ideally I think it leaves you with a feeling of community, but often if I haven't been speaking with anyone new for a little while having a once off conversation with a stranger can leave me feeling more social.

 

What are some ways you could be social?

 

 

  • Accepting any invitations to go out with society.
  • Strinking up and/or contributing to a conversation with anyone.
  • Making an effort to involve people in things.

 

What ways can we be social WITHOUT social media?

 

If you're out with anyone, I think it's great to not be cheking in on social media. Try having a conversation and being involved with the people who you're with in person instead of retreating to your friends on social media.

Going to a nice old school method like giving someone a call or writing a letter can be great. 

 

Why do some people find it easier to socialise than others? What sorts of skills or attributes/character traits do they have?

 

 

A big things to remember is that anxiety affects different people and can make socialising an extremely frightful idea to someone. I feel like it's pretty common to worry about what to talk about, and what the other person is thinking of this conversation in general as well, but anxiety can greatly exacerbate this.

 

There are smaller factors such as how someone's day is going. Sometimes things have happened that I am in a mood to talk about, while other times I feel like I have absolutely nothing to talk about. 

 

People who are more confident or who are trying to appear confident often seem to find it easier to strike up a conversation. 

 

what practical tips would you give someone who was struggling to be social?

 

One of the most important things for me is to remember that they probably have just as little an idea of what to say, even just saying that you'd like to talk but you're not all that sure what to talk about can lead to a conversation. 

There isn't a wrong thing to ask/say. You can make an observation, ask them about their day, talk about your day, anything. 

 

What is the trap in being overly social, if there is one?

 

I think the main trap is letting being social become too big of a priority. You have no obligation to be more social than you want to be. It is fine to take a day away from everyone and just retreat to a book or something else you enjoy. 

And you do not have to be friends with someone you do not want to be friends with. Quality over quantity. Be nice to people, but don't feel obligated to be friends.

 

What are the benefits of having a social life/socialising?

It gives a feeling of community, belonging, and support. It helps to combat loneliness so well and gives me something to look forward to in the days. 

Having these wonderful people wanting to interact with me also makes me feel quite positive about myself, which then makes it easier for me to socialise with others.

Overall, it greatly enhances my life.

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

@stonepixie  it can be such a small world!!!!

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

Hey @Birdeye 

Thanks for chiming in!!! Really appreciate it !! 

Thanks for everything you said really good points you have bought up

I love ...

- accepting intivations and engaging in new things

-Old school methods never die!! 

- Quality over quantitiy is a really good point as well in terms of being overly social 

-

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

Wow, thanks for joining in and sharing so many ideas @Birdeye! Smiley Very Happy

Good point about that you can be observant in order to find a topic to talk about. Maybe such as if they have nice shoes/hat, they have odd socks, their eyes or hair look good, etc. Or maybe you could ask if they've had uni classes if they have books with them, etc. Smiley Happy

Oh and I though this was an awesome description of the benefits: "It gives a feeling of community, belonging, and support" Smiley Happy

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good


stonepixie wrote:
My closest friends were my lab partners at uni.

That's a cool way to meet new people, especially since you became good friends with them Smiley Happy

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

@Lightuptheworld  and @Birdeye 

I like the idea of "belonging"

Re: [Chat] "Hello. Who are you?"*- Socialising- the good and the not so good

Love the benefits we came up with! Finally here's the last question for tonight: What will you take way from tonight's session?

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