cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Main content skiplink
tsnyder
Star contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:18 PM

7. What are some healthy ways to cope and move on from regrets?

 

I think you have to draw a line and move on.  Allow yourself to learn, and then consciously tell yourself 'no' when you start to ruminate.  Talking to someone you trust about it can really help to, for me, that is often my mum.  On ya mum!

originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:13 PM

@tsnyder I've never thought about it that way before.  Great idea Smiley Happy

I might try it sometime.

originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:15 PM

@tsnyder I found that to be the best advice!! We always tend to be more harsh on ourselves...

originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:10 PM

@FootyFan26 definitely, sometimes we need to be honest with ourselves and analyze to see if our regrets are rational or unreasonable

originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:05 PM

When we focus too much on the 'could have beens' instead of the present and future. You miss out on a lot of things doing that.

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:57 PM

I agree with your comments about footy @FootyFan26
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:56 PM

Yeah no doubt that I have learnt and grown from it!
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
N1ghtW1ng
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:55 PM

@tsnyder yeah. I suppose I still use my experiences to make decisions, I just don't focus on things I did in my past that I regret as regrets. If that makes sense.

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:57 PM

@N1ghtW1ng Yeah I getcha.  I feel guilty over really small things though so I'm extra careful when I do stuff.  We can feel regret over some pretty small stuff but it's easier to get over than some of the bigger decisions.

N1ghtW1ng
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:48 PM

@tsnyder laziness, lack of commitment.

Learning from my regrets doesn't overly affect my decisions. I know I have some regrets, minor decisions that accidently led to the breeding of flies, that help me judge events that are similar but in a broader, big-picture sense, not really.

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:52 PM

@N1ghtW1ng as long as you understand that your decision will come with a price.  The most worthwhile things in life often take a fair bit of effort

j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:47 PM

How has learning from your regrets helped your decision making hence?

Its helped me question every choice I make. "What consequences could this have on myself? The people around me??"
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:50 PM

@j95 that type of awareness is great and if everyone could think that way before doing something, we can all become much more compassionate and kinder.

tsnyder
Star contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:50 PM

@j95 it sounds like your regrets have helped you to become a very conscientious person!

redhead
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:43 PM

I gtg now guys sorry
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire
tsnyder
Star contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:44 PM

great to have you @redhead, see you round the forums!

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:44 PM

See ya @redhead thanks for contributing to tonight's session 🙂

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:47 PM

How has learning from your regrets helped your decision making hence?

 

My decision making now is with alot more confidence. I feel like i deserve to be heard. I feel like I deserve to do things because i'm just as good as everyone else.

j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:41 PM

No matter how much I tried to make up for my mistake by returning what I took, I would still regret it doing it in the first place.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:38 PM

When have you allowed yourself to learn from your regrets? What have you learnt?

I have allowed myself to learn from a huge regret in the middle of last year when I lost my electrical apprenticeship because I stole. The minute I got told they knew it was me, I said I would never ever do it again. Instant regret, I regretted it when I did it, but I couldn't take the stuff back, so I had to sit with the regret and learn.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
tsnyder
Star contributor

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:45 PM

@j95 the fact that you have regret shows an awesome moral compass.  Unfortunately, sometimes we do just have to sit with our regret, but it's great to hear you have learnt. 

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:42 PM

We're going to move on to the next question guys, it follows from what we've all just said.

 

How has learning from your regrets helped your decision making hence?

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:45 PM

How has learning from your regrets helped your decision making hence?

Its helped me see things much more positively.
That things don't always have to be 'scary' and even if they are... it's only because I'm trying something new for the first time or because I'm scared...and thats human nature.

And seeing things in this perspective has really made me have some awesome memories and experiences!!

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:49 PM

@sunflowers5 good on you, btw "sunflowers5" is such a positive sounding name, so i can really hear how you have learnt!

 

Yeah being afraid of something often relates to our own perception of our ability to cope.  Do you think you have gotten more confident in coping, or is the threat of the situation less than it used to be?

originally posted on 25-05-2015 8:53 PM

aww thanks 🙂 @tsnyder

yes much more confident in coping.. if I mess up.. I can deal with it so much better, self-talk in reassuring myself that it's fine to fail sometimes and just to try your best is a great way to reinforce not being bummed out. Another thing that helps is reminding yourself that everyone is also in the same boat as you most of the time.
So I guess the threat of the situation is also much lower.. because before I would think It would be the end of the world if I screw up infront of everyone or if I fail at something .. haha!