[CHAT] Forgiveness
originally posted on 23-07-2017 12:20 AM
FORGIVENESS! 
If a person hurt us there are two ways to go about it; either ignore it and move on or to take revenge and be even. It's not always easy to take the high road, to just forgive and let go when someone's done you wrong. It maybe intentional or unintentional but it already did some damage. I know that it takes a lot of courage to forgive someone and forgiving is one step forward into breathing more easier! But what good does hurting another person do to you? It doesn't make you any better. But standing by and ignoring your hurt feelings isn't good either. So here we are stick in a pickle!
But how do we forgive the people that hurt us? Would you choose to take the high road? How long does it take to forgive someone that hurt us? Do we choose who we forgive? Can you still go back to the way it was? Are we capable of giving them a second chance?
Come and join us on the 7th of August at 7:30 pm AEST to discuss ways we can forgive and forget and share your thoughts about forgiveness! If you have any questions, feel free to comment!
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07 Aug 2017, 9:30 AM UTC
07 Aug 2017, 11:30 AM UTC
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originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:24 PM
So I'm just going to hit everyone with a few more questions 🙂
5. What are some things that can make it harder for us to forgive someone?
6. What are some things that we can do to make forgiveness an easier process? (e.g. understanding things form their point of view, understanding that for you forgiveness may not be 100% getting over it, but just refusing to let it affect you anymore)
7. What are your thoughts around forgiving yourself?
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:44 PM
I think something that makes it harder to forgive someone is when you know that the person in question doesn't think they have done anything wrong. It is hard to forgive someone who won't even acknowledge that they have done something to hurt you.
I am actually probably not very good at forgiveness myself - I don't know how to make it easier because the pain is still there. There is resentment or guilt or anger or hopelessness or helplessness - depending on what it is you are trying to forgive. - though maybe if you are trying to forgive yourself it can be about owning up to what you have done, being okay with that, with a mistake and trying to move forward from that while realising that nobody is perfect. But even then if you are trying to forgive yourself, it may not even be because of a mistake but a situation that you've caused. i don't know really.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:48 PM
I like that answer, especially about forgiving yourself @mspaceK. I reckon we can be too hard on ourselves sometimes and trying to move forward by owning up to what we've done is something that we could maybe try more often.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:27 PM
7. What are your thoughts around forgiving yourself?I think forgiving yourself is much more difficult than forgiving others. (In my experience). I think it's important though in order to move on from things.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:18 PM
Please forgive me for being very late. I've been so caught up lately! I look forward to catching up on the chat.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:27 PM
Unfortunately I am going to have to head off sorry for being so absent it has been nice briefly chatting with you all 🙂 Goodnight!originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:36 PM
Okay guys, it is time to wrap up! Thank you for joining us tonight (both those participating and not participating) and hopefully we'll see you around! 😄
PS. Feel free to answer the last couple of questions after if you missed them!
Hope everyone has a great sleep!
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:34 PM
5. What are some things that can make it harder for us to forgive someone?
Hmm i think i shall answer this one. I think the worse the pain we experience, the harder it is to forgive. I also think the more helpless we feel, the harder it is to talk or express that or be understood, the harder it is to forgive. I think we need to be able to express the feelings around what has happened to be able to move on.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:18 PM
Yeah I totally think that going around and giving second chances to everyone isn't always the best way to do it. But letting go and being at peace is a much more realistic and helpful goal when somebody does something completely horrible that you know you can't 100% get over.There's a quote that kind of applies to this that I resonate with a lot:
Harbouring anger about somebody is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
And I think that reasoning really helps me get through when I'm feeling angry at somebody but I know that I need to move on and let it go, because it only ends up hurting me.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:06 PM
@j95, I see where you're coming from too. There are some things that people do that sometimes really make you feel like there's no excuse and that there's no justification to forgive that person and what they did to you because the hurt can be so destructive.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:50 PM
Sorry I have been super busy and not able to respond!!4. What are some of the negatives involved in refusing to forgive somebody? (for both yourself and the other person)
Hmm I think holding onto resentment and negative feelings can definitely be something that can hurt you. That being said forgiveness is certainly not easy! I suppose it depends on whether or not you want to repair the relationship or not at the end of the day. I think it's possible to reach a point of peace of mind or content-ness without being able to forgive the person in a way that you are able to have a close relationship with them. I am rambling a bit now I feel! 😛
originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:48 PM
That's an awesome answer @basketofmonkeys! If I may ask, how would you say it would affect third parties as well?originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:55 PM
@RevzZ I would definitely say that refusing to forgive can affect third parties, particularly in closed environments like families and high school! When one person refuses to get over something, it doesn't just impact them and the person/people they're mad at, but often so many other people can get dragged in such as mutual friends, innocent bystanders etc. etc.I've seen this a lot and it's one of the reasons why I think forgiveness is such an important aspect of living healthily!
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:00 PM
So true @basketofmonkeys I didn't even think of it from that point of view 🙂originally posted on 07-08-2017 6:16 PM
I don't want to forget about this chat either @May_ so i hope you can forgive me 😛
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:30 PM
GR reminder! @roseisnotaplant @j95 @FootyFan26 @nc_reachout13
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:31 PM
Hi everyone.I don't know how much time I'll be on, but I'm here for now
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:36 PM
Hey @redhead it's lovely to see you 🙂 Take as little or as much time as you need
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:39 PM
What does forgiveness mean to youForgiveness for me is about not letting the person who hurt you rule your life. It's letting go, but in a healthy way. You acknowledge your pain, acknowledge that its in the past learn from it, set yourself free from it destroying you
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:44 PM
I really like that definition of letting go @redhead. It sounds to me like you've really captured one of the huge benefits of forgiveness! Hard to do though!
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:49 PM
Hmm, i reckon it's time for the next question
