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[CHAT]: Stinking thinking

originally posted on 17-02-2017 3:22 PM

Brains are wonderful. They produce thousands of thoughts every single day, and let us do some amazing things. But sometimes they're not so wonderful and we can become stuck in a rut of negativity.

 

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So how do we get out of it? And how can we support somebody else who's dealing with a bit of stinking thinking? Join us here on Monday 20th February at 8pm AEDT, or click 'Reply' to start the chat now!

lokifish
lokifishPosted 19-03-2022

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20 Feb 2017, 9:00 AM UTC

20 Feb 2017, 11:00 AM UTC

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    Comments

     
    Jia
    JiaPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:14 PM

    How can venting effect other people? What can we do to be more mindful of others when venting?

     

    I think it really depends on what you're venting on? Like I don't mind if my friends vent to me about things like school or work cause I know what that's like and I can understand them. If it's something more serious than i would be more mindful about who I vent to and whether they would be able to really carry the burden of that.

     

    We can probably be more mindful just by thinking about whether it's a subject that they can relate to and we can bond with over together cause I know my friends and I tend to do that XD

     
     
    Stealth_ninja
    Stealth_ninjaPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:16 PM

    While we're all talking about and it thinking about this I thought it might be a good time to think about how RO can help with this a bit more. 

     

    What does everyone think we could do on RO to be mindful of some of these issues?

     
     
     
    Ben-RO
    Ben-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:22 PM

    hahaha omg @j95 good gif. Also Steve carrell is so damn funny. 

     

    What does everyone think we could do on RO to be mindful of some of these issues?

     

    Well one thing would be to make lots more threads. If someone needs to express some venting or rumiinaty stuff and makes a new thread, it means a couple of things. 

     

    1.  We can choose to go into that thread if we are feeling ready and in a good space to help. 
    2. If we make our own thread for our own issue it means people who ARE in a good space to help can give you lots of attention care and support. 
    3. It reduces the risk of people all not feeling great in one thread. 

    All this is making me think that means short sads might not be the healthiest way for us to support each other... hmmmm

     

     

     
     
     
     
    Stealth_ninja
    Stealth_ninjaPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:26 PM

    Yeah i definitely think its something we maybe need to talk about more on the forums @Ben-RO cause sometimes things get lost in short sads too and people aren't really getting the help that they need so maybe encouraging people to start a new thread could be a way of making sure they are heard?

     

    Also, I know im not too helpful when im not doing too well so if im venting i dont think id be much help supporting someone else who's also venting?

     

    What does everyone else think?

     
     
     
     
     
    Ben-RO
    Ben-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:28 PM

    Hmm and i know i have talked to a few people in emails and on Slack about feeling pretty triggered or upset by Short Sads although i don't want to tag anyone unless they want to share cause that stuff's private. But yeah as @j95 there's no gate if it's all in one spot.

     
     
     
     
     
    Ben-RO
    Ben-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:31 PM

    Hrrm okay well, perhaps we should make a thread about Short Sads and think about what we could do instead? 

     
     
     
     
     
    j95
    j95Posted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:31 PM

    thats a good idea @Ben-RO
     
     
     
     
     
    j95
    j95Posted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:30 PM

    yeah im one of those people 😕 oops
     
     
     
     
     
    Stealth_ninja
    Stealth_ninjaPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:27 PM

    Also, I think thats a really healthy approach @loves netball ! Do you think there are some other ways we can help?

     
     
     
     
     
    loves netball
    loves netballPosted 19-03-2022 07:31 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:32 PM

    I don't like reading venting online anymore unless someone show's that they want the situation to improve, because I feel like it's just being rude back to the person trying to offer the support. Sometimes we don't always get it right. I admit, that people probably thought I was a total bitch when something that was suggested triggered me. I probably still am the biggest bitch. But the point is, I think the person venting needs to guide the support they want, how they want the other person to respond. Eg just listen and acknowledge that the situation is tough or give suggestions.

     
     
     
     
     
    Sally-RO
    Sally-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:39 PM

    I think you are spot on @loves netball - you can't help someone without the person having a sense of empowerment in the process

     
     
     
     
     
    Stealth_ninja
    Stealth_ninjaPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:36 PM

    That makes a lot of sense to me @loves netball, it definitely need to come from the person or the communiy and I guess that's why we have GRs and special discussions and things because we want to make sure your voice is heard and helps us makes the forums better. Do you like the idea of a thread to discuss short sad/some of the points @Ben-RO made, do you think it would help our users?

     
     
     
     
     
    loves netball
    loves netballPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:39 PM

    @Stealth_ninja I've actually started avoiding short sads. I only go on if I'm worried that someone is need of support and no one else has seen it. I might leave this chat. It's really really upsetting me and I'm fighting back tears

     
     
     
     
     
    Ben-RO
    Ben-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:43 PM

    I would definitely say that it's always important for us to put on our own oxygen masks first before looking out for others. So avoiding certain threads to make sure we don't get triggered or upset is a really healthy and good skill @loves netball! And perhaps even if SS goes, well...that will still always be an important skill to have. 

     
     
     
     
     
    StarLord
    StarLordPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:43 PM

    Hey guys! Sorry I'm so late - footy training.


    @loves netball you gotta do what's best for you I think. It's so great that you are actively there for others in need of support but to be able to do it sustainably we've gotta take care of ourselves. Speak again soon

     
     
     
     
     
    j95
    j95Posted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:44 PM

    sorry you're upset @loves netball I was just trying to make conversation sorry if i upset you 😕
     
     
     
     
     
    j95
    j95Posted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:48 PM

    Time for the next question...

     

     What are some alternatives to venting?

     
     
     
     
     
    Stealth_ninja
    Stealth_ninjaPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:57 PM

    hmm this is a tough question but writing. i also like @StarLord one of singing a song. I could definitely put on a really big belty song and scream it out haha but i think trying to break it down into steps and think about things logically helps. I have a set of questions that I sort of ask myself and write down when i feel like im spiralling or getting overwhelmed and that really helps me. 

     
     
     
     
     
    loves netball
    loves netballPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:51 PM

    Running a marathon, or attempting to train for one Smiley Tongue

     
     
     
     
     
    Ben-RO
    Ben-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 9:58 PM

     What are some alternatives to venting?

     
     Try turning negatives into positives
    Do a worry time diary entry
    Think about what you would say to someone who was going through what you're going through. 
    Play some kind of game
    Dunk your head in a bucket of cold water
    Do a handstand
    Do a hollow body hold
    Clean the bathroom
    Give someone an honest response, rather than a polite one
    Turn all the lights on in the house and then off again as quickly as you can
    Make a really good and healthy food plan, and then cheat on it 😛 
    Think about what you feel like doing, and do the exact opposite 
    Create things and then give them to someone or throw them at a total stranger
    Catch a train somewhere and get off after 45 minutes and explore 
    Take photos of cats
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Stealth_ninja
    Stealth_ninjaPosted 19-03-2022 07:32 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 10:03 PM

    Dunk your head in a bucket of cold water? DAYUM

     
     
     
     
     
    Ben-RO
    Ben-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:33 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 10:09 PM

    It works @Stealth_ninja!

     

    And on that note, I am quite sleepy! So I am gonna hit the hay 

     

    Sleeps

    \

     

    Thank you all for the chat, you have given me a lot to think about! 

     

     
     
     
     
     
    Stealth_ninja
    Stealth_ninjaPosted 19-03-2022 07:33 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 10:04 PM

    That is a great list, im going to think about those next time! I also think it could be worthwhile to continue this discussion somewhere for the people that couldnt make the GR. Thoughts?

     
     
     
     
     
    Ben-RO
    Ben-ROPosted 19-03-2022 07:33 AM

    originally posted on 20-02-2017 10:11 PM

    @Stealth_ninja yeah I reckon that's a great idea! @j95 is going to make a thread about Short Sads and other solutions. 

     

    People are also heaps welcome to keep posting or sharing thoughts here too! 

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