[CHAT]: Goals and Goal-Setting
So, goals are good. We get told it from our school, by our parents and by society all the time.
We get told that life is a simple progression from setting, goals, achieving those goals, and then setting new goals. Achieving goals guarantees success, and success guarantees happiness, right?
But, what happens if you don't succeed in your goals? What happens if your goals aren't the same as the goals that other people want for you? Arguably, goals are important, but what happens if you develop an unhealthy relationship with them? What if you set too much? Or too little?
How do you make goal-setting work for you, and not against you?
Join us next Monday, 17th July at A NEW TIME OF 7:30pm AEST To have a chat about all things goal-related. We hope to see you there! 🙂
thanks @roseisnotaplant. One of the things my mental health nurse taught me was to break things down into more manageable tasks and that you can't just expect things to happen straight away. Things take time and effort, but by setting goals I can give myself steps (a pathway) for getting there.
For me having mini goals in big goals work.
Like- being safe to see my case manager means getting through each day, reaching for support when I need it, seeing temp cm on Thursday, staying at my friends house for a bit and just having fun with him. Etc.
I don't really have many goals cause I was put off by the fact that I wasn't being successful in these goals. I guess a long term one is to pass my VCE and it is important because it'll make things easier in the future.
It gives me a focus and something to work towards.
Sometimes I need something to pull me through the day so I set set things to achieve each day, week month, and stuff I want to do in the long term future. It helps keep my head above the water.
Like @redhead said, it gives you something to work towards. Often I'll think, 'I should probably play guitar more,' but it really helps me follow through on it if I challenge myself to play a song everyday for example.
How does goal setting help you in life?
It help to feel motivated and have a bit more organisation as well as building resilience and independence by you having to stick to that goal.
How does goal setting help you in life?
Goal setting is handy for helping to think about how to achieve the things that are important to you. If you're really good at goal setting it can be a way to achieve some HUGE things. People who do crazy epic stuff, like climbing Everest are all amazing goal setters. They're also good at breaking big Goals down into smaller steps. Something i know @j95 is good at.
We're gonna have a question shortly to think through what we can do if we don't achieve a goal @redhead @Jays_Wing @Meowkins !
Next question...
Goal setting has many benefits but what are some negative aspects of goal setting? How does it feel when a goal may not have worked out as well as you would've liked it to?
Goal setting has many benefits but what are some negative aspects of goal setting? How does it feel when a goal may not have worked out as well as you would've liked it to?
Unfortunately, I often set myself unrealistic goals. Due to my perfectionism I tend to set high expectations for myself and I end up overloading on goals and having big lists of things I need to do or want to do. This makes me feel anxious about completing my goals and I start to feel overwhelmed and panicky about achieving them. Another thing is that I often set goals relating to work and uni, but I forget about setting goals for myself in relation to self-care. I get so fixated on achieving these work and uni outcomes, that I forget to look after myself, and in doing so I am not able to achieve any of my goals.
When I don't achieve my goals I feel disappointed and like I am not good enough. It can make me feel hopeless and worthless and unmotivated to continue trying.
okay I am such a morning-not-night-person and my eyelids are already starting to droop, so I'm going to head off for the evening.
I hope we're all able to set and achieve realistic goals over the next few weeks/months! 
- I want to be a millionaire by the time i'm 42- or at least have enough income coming in that I don't have to work to live, but work because i love it....although i'm already loving what i do, so i guess it's not super important?
- I'd like to travel overseas at least once a year for the rest of my life.
- I want to have a place somewhere in the middle of nowhere and build it all by myself
- I'd like to be in a relationship that's healthy, fulfilling and makes me get all the feels.
I think they are my big goals, although i have literally hundreds of small goals, mostly related to keeping this place going 😛
I have a personal goal which is indefinite. It's not something that you can tick off a list.
My goal is to learn to be more assertive and not to let people take advantage of me. I want to learn the skills to say no and to recognise when I need to do things for myself rather than always pleasing others.
That's my goal for the moment! And I think once this becomes habit and more easy to do, other goals will be more attainable 🙂
I really love your goals @Meowkins. Especially recognising to say no. This is a hard thing to learn and for some people it comes naturally, unlike myself, I tend to be a people pleaser at times which is all part of my perfectionism and living up to standards.
And you're right! It will be come easier over-time. You just have to stay motivated and confident and remember why you are doing it. 🙂
Those of us who are people pleasers also have high expectations of ourselves. This means that goals can either be good (we feel good when we achieve them) or not so good (because we have such high expectations we may not always reach them). However, it doesn't matter if you don't always succeed as long as you give it your best shot. Also, goals can be fluid. You can move the goal posts (pardon the pun) if you need to and can try again/give yourself more time. No use beating yourself up over things!
This is SO important to realise @Meowkins. And is something I have trouble with but it is also something I am working on too.
- Finish my apprenticeship
- Do everything I possibly can to make sure my siblings living happy and healthy and loved lives
- Own a house with a bit of land (I have a while picture painted in my head haha)
- Mending this broken finger/numerous stuffed up fingers from my skating incident 😞
- Smaller less significant goals include surfing as much as possible and meditating everyday.
(If you're not sure, SMART strands for specific, measurable, attainable, I don't remember what r stands for, and time (so like within a reasonable time frame).
I think different goals work for different people. I remember finding smart goals really annoying, but they've actually turned out to be kind of useful to apply to my own goal setting (don't tell my teachers :P). More general goals can definitely be effective too though, I think it just depends on how you go about it.
With it being the start of a new term, I'm really keen to set some new goals. Some will be school related, but they don't have to be, for example I really REALLY want to get into the habit of meditating everyday.
One of my goals is to stay safe until my case manager gets back next Wednesday. It's really important, I want to learn to cope better
Another goal is to find a new place to live with support to get there.
Long term goal is to get back to uni next year and then get my degree.
Goal setting has many benefits but what are some negative aspects of goal setting? How does it feel when a goal may not have worked out as well as you would've liked it to?
It can be the opposite of motivating and I tend to lose motivation and dislike the art of goal setting more. I guess making smaller ones can help me build my confidence though.
Goal setting has many benefits but what are some negative aspects of goal setting? How does it feel when a goal may not have worked out as well as you would've liked it to?
A few people have touched on the idea that goal setting can lead to a sense of failure if/when we don't achieve what we hoped we would and I know that's been true for me. It feels really disappointing when a goal doesn't work out as well as I'd like, and it can be hard to separate the failure of the goal from me as a person. failed goal does not equal failed person.
