[CHAT]: How to deal with conflict in relationships
Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. Differences in opinions, expectations, values, roles, interests and overall misunderstandings are all reasons why conflict might develop with the people in our lives.
Conflict is not only a common part of romantic relationships, but it definitely happens in families and friendships. We might argue with a partner, disagree with family members over changing roles and wanting more independence, or have fights with friends. Sometimes these conflicts can be face-to-face, and sometimes they can be more subtle (posting things online, saying things to other friends etc).
There are many ways that we can handle conflict, some healthier than others. How do we know how to handle conflicts, particularly when we’re so convinced that the other person is definitely in the wrong? What should we do if conflict escalates (or what can we do to prevent this from happening)? And what should we watch out for as warning signs for a toxic or abusive relationship?
Join myself and @ClCl at on Monday 18th of July at 8pm AEST to talk about strategies for managing conflict in our relationships.
Awesome question choice @redhead !
Is all conflict bad? Or can there be positives to conflict?
I don't think all conflict is bad. Some conflicts can definitely damage relationships, but others allow us to gain broader perspectives through finding out another person's beliefs or opinions. It can also allow us to expand on our own conflict resolution/assertiveness skills, by learning to negotiate and compromise with the other person.
@ClCl maybe these relationships could be more acquaintences or people that you don't know very well (or don't see very often)?
I'm sorry to hear that @Chrissyabd - sounds like this GR has come at a good time!
It sounds like we're all very much on the same page about conflict-free relationships (or lack thereof 
)
Thanks @redhead 🙂
Is all conflict bad? Or can there be positives to conflict?
I think there can be benefits to conflicts. It can teach us how to be able to negotiate and reach agreements with others. It can help us understand ourselves better by investigating why we conflict with others and what we need to do to help resolve that.
But that depends on how both parties manage the conflict. Such as whether they are open minded to discuss things in a friendly manner, or if they are being manipulative and unreasonable.
different view points
Negotiation skills
that's all I can think of right now but I know there is a heap more,
next one!
Have you ever had an argument or disagreement with someone which ended badly?
Have you ever had an argument or disagreement with someone which ended badly?
I most definitely have, although no specifics are coming to mind right now...
I have definitely learnt that some people are very set in their ways and can't see another veiwpoint that isn't their own and that can definitely be difficult
I have learned that sometimes I need to speak up after a conflict, to apologise and explain where I was coming from and that I didnt mean to offend the other person. Maybe also ask more questions to clarify the perspective of the other person.
Also, that sometimes you both need a bit of a breather first.
What other lessons have people learned from conflicts that didn't end so well?
Something i have learned is that you have to be kind to yourself in a conflict and after too, conflict can be intense, and even if the other person doesn't mean to be hurtful, they can be. It's okay to take time to look after yourself, or not be okay with what someone else says or the need they are trying to meet in the conflict. That's often the case even if it might feel like you're being "unfair" or "selfish".
Sure have
