[CHAT] Saying sorry and forgiveness
Join us, this Monday 6th July at 8pm AEST because....
It’s one of the hardest things to do, but forgiving someone can make a big difference to how happy you are. That’s because feeling bitter or angry towards someone prevents you from experiencing happy feelings.
Being overrun by negative feelings obviously isn’t great for your own happiness, so making an effort to transform those feelings through forgiveness is worth a go. When you forgive, the negative feelings you have disappear. This gives you the space to experience positive feelings again.
Research has shown that people who forgive:
- Experience more happiness
- Are in better physical health (particularly in terms of cardiovascular health)
- Have better relationships, which in turn can increase happiness even more
In other words, forgiveness is something you can do for yourself!
On the other hand, saying sorry can be awkward and difficult. Depending on why you want to apologise, you might have some hesitation. If you’re worried that the other person won’t forgive you, remember that apologising is still better than refusing to admit anything is wrong. Saying sorry is also hard if you don’t believe that you’ve done anything wrong. In this situation, try thinking about the impact of what you have done on the other person, and remembering that they are hurt. Your apology is a way of helping the other person and maintaining your relationship.
So join us on Monday for the chat!
5. When people realise they have made a mistake or done something wrong they usually apologise. Is it ever appropriate to reject an apology?
I think its not to so much appropriate to reject an apology but its fine to let the other person know you haven't completely forgiven them yet and need more time.
I think its important to always appreciate that someone does feel bad for the things they've done...
@FootyFan26 sounds like a good strategy!
I feel like overthinking things is a root of many many many self-created problems. I think its much happier if you just keep moving and stay grounded in whats important to you rather then dwelling on the variety of conflicts that pop up.
sometimes we may apologise knowing how a person may react... so we may do it out of fear and completely not mean at all.. but hey, can we help it or avoid that? 😕
Another hard question dude.
I guess if I hadn't said sorry to him he may not have calmed down as fast compared to when I did and when he's angry he does a whole lot of crazy shit. I think I'd prefer to say a meaningless sorry for something I didn't do than have a weed addict rampaging through the house.
@FootyFan26 Sounds like a tactical decision. Some things just arent worth it hey
Is saying sorry enough? Or are there times when more is needed?
In high school i always remember telling my girlfriend at the time that actions speak louder then words and I still probably believe it.
I think if someone is truely sorry, you will feel it in there energy, effort , decisions and everything about it.
If there not, you will equally feel nothing in their lifeless apology that probably did nothing for you emotionally, other then perhaps frustrate you.
its unfortunate that you have to do it but I guess sometimes such things are the smarter decision.
Loving everyones responses so far...
moving on,
4. Is saying sorry enough? Or are there times when more is needed?
sometimes we may apologise just out of social courtesy but we may not entirely mean it...
I think in such situations our main intention is to be polite so that should be fine and not morally wrong...
where as if its to something close to us regarding a much more intimate issue.. I personally do not think its okay to apologise and not mean it.
I think once you apologise you shouldn't be repeating the same mistake again and again because the apology loses all meaning!
Pride can get in the way.
Or sometimes we don't think we have done anything wrong.
seems like pride is already a theme! @redhead What do you think pride is in this context? Just asking since you had such a good definition before!
Tell us about the last time you had to say sorry to someone in a real way - why was it important?
Saying sorry means that the person is more important than the problem. And that we also acknowledged that we know we were wrong and want to fix things.
" sayying sorry means that the person it more important than the problem" @redhead I really like the statement. I might even steal that philisophy next time im in a big arguemtn and was to diffuse it 🙂
Tell us about the last time you had to say sorry to someone in a real way - why was it important?
Saying sorry is important because forgiveness is an important part of getting over something. The last time I said sorry was to my english teacher because they thought I was purposely trying to be rude and ignore them when I wasn't intentionally doing it. If I hadn't said sorry I would probably still be regretting it.
Welcome to the chat @FootyFan26!
The worst when people think yo uare being rude and you are not 😛 once they think it.........everything you do gets interpreted that way ><
Okay guys, lets move on!
we know that sometimes we do need to apologise to people but.
2. What can stop us from wanting to apologize?
I can't seem to find my other post, so I'll join in again 🙂
I agree that pride can get in the way and also sometimes I feel like I'm always the one apologising even if I haven't done anything wrong
1. Is when the person is very close minded and doesn't want to compromise or understand an issue from other perspectives..
2. When the opposite person has said/done something super inappropriate or harsh when 'upset'
3. Or if I think I am right (unfortunate ego haha)
2. What can stop us from wanting to apologize?
- Embarrassment
- Misunderstandings
- People taking it the wrong way
- Looking weak
thats a good list @FootyFan26. I can definately think of a lot of times where I dont want to admit I am wrong and feel vulnerable nad perhaps weak. Especially if they dont accept your apology, that can deter you in the future from trying to apologise even when you are wrong.
If that makes sense!
@sunflowers5 most of it made sense 😛 still probably more sense then I make half the time o.0
I dont know about everyone else..........but for me its my pride. Somehow I can be so wrong, but still convince myself I am right >< .
The next day I think about it and realise how stupid I was in many situations:P
Thats a hell'a true! Forgiveness is definitely a huge part in getting over something ... definitely a big step involved in the process!
aww, thats heaps good...
usually misunderstandings are a big reason we apologise.. I guess its important we watch the way we act or speak sometimes because you don't want anyone to interpret you the wring way and get upset!
