[CHAT] The ABCs of LGBT
There are so many ways in which people have realized their LGBT identity. Maybe you’ve known your whole life. Maybe you didn’t realise it was a thing until you found out about that identity. Or maybe it was a celebrity or character in your favourite movie/TV show who gave you those special feelings. Either way, LGBT identity is as diverse as the many ways in which people come out.
And yet, why can it be such a struggle to know who you are? It only takes one bite to figure out whether you’re a fan of coriander, or a few classes to figure out which school subjects you naturally excel at. So why can it take years, decades even, to figure out where on the LGBT spectrum you sit?
Figuring out your LGBT identity isn’t always as simple as deciding on your favourite flavours or school subjects. For one, not everyone has the most straightforward journey. Plenty of people may identify with different labels before settling on one permanently, and some might not want to label themselves altogether. Others might spend most of their lives not realizing until they have that mental breakthrough.
However sure (or unsure) you might be in your sexual or gender identity, having a community or a space to talk about it can be so helpful, and not just for figuring out where you sit on the LGBT spectrum! Considering that LGBT young people have some of the worst rates of mental health among their peers, helping the LGBT community feel safe and accepted is something we all should work towards, regardless of how we identify.
That’s why we’re opening up a GR session on gender and sexual identity! Regardless of whether you’re 100% sure or 5% sure in your sexual identity, come and join us at 8pm AEST on Monday the 25th of July to talk about the ins and outs of being LGBT
@stonepixie @safari93 Maybe it's a case of multiple criss-crossing lines rather than one straight continuum? But then you get those who aren't on the continuum at all. Damn I don't know how to visualise it either 😛
Personally, I am aromantic too and I think it's important for people to understand the difference between sexual feelings and romantic feelings and understand that they aren't the same.
We all seem really switched on about LGBT issues here! But while we've focused on the community itself, how do we get ally support?
This stuff can be complicated enough when you’re experiencing it yourself, but for many straight, cisgender people even learning about the basics can be new and overwhelming. What do you feel is the most important thing for people who want to be allies to the LGBT+ community to know?
This stuff can be complicated enough when you’re experiencing it yourself, but for many straight, cisgender people even learning about the basics can be new and overwhelming. What do you feel is the most important thing for people who want to be allies to the LGBT+ community to know?
I don't know if I can really answer this as a straight person - it's probably more for those who're LGBT+ themselves. I'd say really listening to and validating the experiences of those in the community is important though, and with that comes a need to be open minded.
Never assume someone identifies as something when they could have an identity that covers a range of things.
Asexuality, which is really a spectrum too with demisexual and greysexual. I think pansexuality needs more too. All I ever really hear is gay, lesbian and bi or bi/pan. Rather thsn gay, lesbian, bi, pan and ace.
With gender, I think the labels need to be guidelines, not strict labels. Like, girl, kinda-girl, meh, kinda-boy, boy, both and nope. You can be whereever you want to along that line or not even there because it's YOUR gender. You csn tell people what you want to be called and anything past that is your choice. Don't think you have to fit into any one label, because you don't.
But then sexuality also depends on how the view the spectrum as well. Is it point a or b or is it a line that people exist somewhere on?
Same can be said for gender.
@stonepixie it seems like people kind of just try and normalise any identity, so if you identify as Bi but are in relationship with someone who identifies as the opposite sex, people make a heteronormative assumption (they just assume you're straight). So the less visibility there is around your identity, the more assumptions are made...I think?
@stonepixie That issue is definitely there with being bisexual and dating. I've had a lot of people assume that I had magically turned straight when I was in a relationship with a guy. Not fun stuff -_-
This stuff can be complicated enough when you’re experiencing it yourself, but for many straight, cisgender people even learning about the basics can be new and overwhelming. What do you feel is the most important thing for people who want to be allies to the LGBT+ community to know?
- LISTEN! LGBT+ people have experiences that most straight, cisgender people aren't even aware exist. Assuming that something doesn't happen because you don't personally experience it is a no go.
- When discussion of LGBT+ issues comes up, try to amplify the voices of LGBT+ people, rather than speaking on their behalf
- Call out people you know who say anti-LGBT+ stuff, that's one of the most important roles you can play
One thing I very rarely here discussion about is romantic orientations, especially those that are on the aromantic spectrum. I've only started learning about it quite recently and don't ever here it discussed really even in specially LGBT+ spaces.
Unless you seek out information on all of the different sexual orientations, romantic orientation, and expressions of gender identities that exist yourself, it’s easy to miss the lesser-known identities that often go unacknowledged and don’t receive the respect they deserve. What are some that you know that could use some more visibility and what can we do to help that happen?
I think the ace spectrum in general is often ignored, especially since LGBT events can be advertised as overtly sexual and ~adult~ events. I also think trans identities are only really shown if they really strongly conform to traditional masculinity or femininity - despite the fact that being trans doesn't mean embodying one end of the gender binary all the time, and that being nonbinary is a thing.
As for ways, I think the internet in general has really helped to bring a diversity of LGBT experience to everyone. It isn't always the same as media representation, but at least now we can make some noise to see that kind of change happen. Also I'm very very excited by how willing children's media is to show gender nonconformity (mostly Steven Universe, but I'm not a child so I know v little about children's shows otherwise lol)
@safari93 That's a good point about the ace spectrum! Also I'm glad you brought up children's media. Shout out to Play School who've led the way in normalising LGBT families from early on. Seriously, is there anything they don't do right? 😛
I just want gendered uniforms to go away. I really do. I understand that female and male bodies are different. But mens shirts are SOOO much more comfortable. Schools woyld be better with two shirt types, skirts, pants/shorts and/or dresses. No gendered uniforms, make them go away.
Well... Anyone that I've told about my asexuality or gender ambiguoisness is respectful. I don't get, as in recieve, boosted mental health but not because of them but because I'm uncomfortable asking for that kind of help.
It looks like a lot of you have a good support base going 🙂
On to the next Q!
Unless you seek out information on all of the different sexual orientations, romantic orientation, and expressions of gender identities that exist yourself, it’s easy to miss the lesser-known identities that often go unacknowledged and don’t receive the respect they deserve. What are some that you know that could use some more visibility and what can we do to help that happen?
Unless you seek out information on all of the different sexual orientations, romantic orientation, and expressions of gender identities that exist yourself, it’s easy to miss the lesser-known identities that often go unacknowledged and don’t receive the respect they deserve. What are some that you know that could use some more visibility and what can we do to help that happen?
I really don't know many of the lesser-known identities so I'll be interested to learn about some from others! In terms of visibility it's all about media representation and while it may not be realistic to go through every identity in sex-ed classes, directing young people to decent online resources on the topic would be a great thing. Do we have a factsheet about this on RO?
I haven't heard that story @stonepixie but those guys sound like absolute badasses that I totally wanna befriend! Good on them 😛
@N1ghtW1ng 100% in support of this rant! Our school had slacks for girls but the boys could only wear pants, which barely goes anywhere in providing for LGBT kids. In year 12 our graduating class actually decided to swap uniforms for the day (with the awful name of 'crossdress day') but the backlash from the school administration was so intense and we were all like ???? Why?? It's just clothes???
@safari93 The swapping uniforms thing at the end of year 12 is a pretty common occurrence in schools in my area. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that they'd have an issue with it for even one day - considering all the outright stupid/unsafe things kids have historically done on muck up day, a guy wearing a dress to school is hardly an issue
Hey @stonepixie!!!
Having supportive people around you who respect you sexuality and gender is a big part of boosting your mental health. Who plays that role in your life?
My friends and some family members! Not all of them are super keen on my sexuality, but the family who do (and friends of course) are all very accepting and were actually way less problematic than I thought they would be
Quick uniform rant. Girl and boy uniforms are the worst part of gender segregation in schools. They force people to wear the clothes of their birth sex and that is not right. For multiple reasons. Not just because of trans and queer but also those who aren't comfortable in these clothes. Girls that only have skirts or dresses for an option is horrible for girls who prefer pants and hate skirts, like I did until I decided I wasn't a girl. The double standards too is not right. Vague example of my school, ties. Girls get tiny ties for all year round while boys get longer ties for winter only.
IT IS NOT RIGHT!!!!!! Rant over, sorry.
