[GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.
It goes without saying that throughout our lives, we all go through stages where we are feeling better or worse than we usually would. Sometimes we may feel that we are coping well, achieving our goals and able to see our lives going the way we hope for, and it feels a little like it looks like this:
Other times, everything may feel overwhelming, impossible or too painful. And you're kinda just like:
For this week's Getting Real, we'll be discussing the concepts of Relapse and Recovery - what that means to us, how it affects our lives and what we can do to promote our wellbeing.
Join us from 8pm (AEDT) on Monday, January 9th to discuss your thoughts Relapse and Recovery or post below with your ideas!
I seriously love everyone's answers to that last question! It seems like we can all agree that asking for help is just that - super helpful! 🙂
Next question,
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Setbacks: crisis after crisis - hospital admissions plus numerous other visits to ED. Sometimes the SH and worse are everyday struggles. Other times I'll go a week or two in recovery..
Strategies/learning new skills, changing my environment, opening up to someone about whatever is triggering me, making myself a routine, exercise, register in a few fun runs so I have to train and stay safe
I think that most of my setbacks have been self inflicted. Things like, falling in to the trap of thinking "I'm feeling better - I don't need to see my care coordinator/psychologist/GP/groups/etc anymore" or biting off way more than I can chew with work/friends/study/family/etc. Orrrrr not taking my medication.
For most of these, I've had to completely fall apart before pulling myself back together. When things have gotten waaaay too overwhelming, the only way of dealing with these has been to get back in contact with my networks, to take a break and set more realistic expectations of myself and to start taking my medication again.
This reminded me that another setback for me was probably that I resisted taking medication for such a long time. I wanted to believe that I could do it all myself, that I wasn't one of those people who relied on a "magic pill." Also the fact that my mum had been telling me to take medication for ages made me determined to resist it.
What helped me then was realising that it was actually a sign of strength to recognise that I needed help and to allow myself to reach out for that.
A huge setback happened for me in the middle of 2016 when I decided to not take my medication, and very abruptly stopped, I had to deal with the withdrawal issues, plus why I was on meds in the first place, and it all become a mess. I couldn't tell anyone this big mistake I'd made it and it was about 3 months later I started them back up again. Such a horrible time, I definitely got past it with support of people RO who really helped me with taking steps to booking appointments and talking to people about what I'd done.
@dustb0wldance it's good that you're so aware of these setbacks and what you need to do in order to pick yourself back up!
It's liker recovery is like physical fitness. You don't just train every day for 6 months and go "alright I'm fit which means I can finally quit all this training!" You have to keep working out on a regular basis to maintain your fitness.
Just like you have to keep implementing those strategies to stay mentally recovering.
Yesss @StarLord! That is exacly what I'm getting at! My biggest setback is definitely that I get in the habit of going "Yep, I'm fine now!" and not keeping my training up to make sure I don't go backwards!
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Ummm...I'd say some setbacks for me (or a big one) was not being able to say no to people when they needed help and then feeling so out of control that I'd end up relapsing. It was at those times that I realised I really needed to work on being assertive and putting myself first, and I've slowly started getting better at maintaining my boundaries. I often don't say no outright, I'll make up an excuse e.g. I'm working so as to avoid the confrontation.
And I've found DBT skills like DEARMAN to be very helpful in this regard.
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Not believing in myself and not believing that change is possible is the biggest setback for me. I still haven't really worked out how to overcome this to be honest. I think it's something that gradually happens as you get older, as you accomplish more things, learn to care less about things and your confidence grows.
I find having others around me willing to help me gain insight into my behaviours really helpful in recovery. Hard to process of course but ultimately helpful.
I wish I got better support earlier. It would have helped not lot be labelled with diagnosis that wasn't even true
I think it really sucks that the time in recovery can be so short for me and the time in replapse feels like it's never ending @letitgo
yeah I can see how that would be hard for you @loves netball. The times in recovery will become longer as you go along, I'd imagine. What do you reckon?
Remember you'll always have us here at RO! 
There's been some really interesting definitions - it seems like most of us talk about recovery as an ongoing process that requires us to work towards....which leads into our seconds question...
What is something that has or could have helped you on your recovery journey?
What is something that has or could have helped you on your recovery journey?
I think the most helpful thing for me is to reach out (see what I did there? 
hehe). I tend to get all caught up in "being recovered" because I've accessed so many services and so much help, that I forget that it's still perfectly okay to ask for help when I need it. But when I have finally sought external help, instead of trying to do it all myself, it has been THE most helpful thing possible.
What is something that has or could have helped you on your recovery journey?
I think support of any sort is going to help on your recovery journey. Whether that be family, friends, teachers, counsellors or RO.
Whether you admit it or not, as humans we are a social species and need connection with others. When times get tough, it becomes even more important. People can provide encouragement, reassurance, undivided support and love, advice or just be a physical person to hug or hold.
What do recovery and relapse mean to you?
For me, recovery means... no longer self-harming, and being able to accept it when I do slip up and relapse, and forgiving myself for it. I've had to do a bit of that lately. In a more general sense it means being brave enough to do things I never thought I'd be able to, like driving and having a job. I am so grateful for the ongoing process of my recovery for giving me the life I have today.
Relapse is something that is often emotion-provoking and hard to deal with, but I recognise that it is likely to happen, especially when I'm feeling particularly bad or my environment/family is particularly stressful.
And relapse is when you have a dip that is not as easy to manage as something like a decrease in mood. So you may feel like you are back at the beginning again.
Recovery - when I'm eating half decent; functioning and have purpose in life
Relapse - too many crises and can't function - am in survival mode
@loves netball it's great that you're able to recognise specific aspects of both relapse and recovery. Recognising them makes it easier to address them 
