Sibling Rivalry
Sibling rivalry is common. It doesn’t matter if you have brothers or sisters, at some point you have probably been frustrated and felt like you were competing with each other. For some, sibling rivalry may only be a small thing, like perhaps you and your sibling get competitive over a video game. For others, sibling rivalry may be more sinister and deep-seated, like thoughts of one sibling being ‘the favourite child’.
So how do we deal with sibling rivalry? Having a healthy relationship with your siblings and with yourself seems to be the most important thing. However, this can be hard, especially when you are under the same roof. Sometimes, small things can make you frustrated and overreact. Your brother ate most of the dinner and didn’t leave you much when you got home from training, and all of a sudden this is more reason that he’s egotistical and selfish (instead of hungry and having made an innocent mistake). How do we overcome these habitual thoughts and grievances? Although Step Brothers was hilarious, it is probably not the best place to turn for guidance.
What are your experiences with sibling rivalry? How do you cope? What do you say to yourself and how do you keep a healthy relationship? Personally, I would suggest keeping everything in perspective and staying patient. For example, rating the level of importance from 1 (not important) – 10 (most important thing ever) can be really helpful. However, there are probably and million and one suggestions out there, and many more effective ones!
Join in this Monday (23rd June) to talk about sibling rivalry and share your thoughts, experiences, and strategies for maintaining a healthy relationship. Although sibling rivalry is common, there are likely a ton of individual differences and little idiosyncrasies. It would be great to hear your thoughts and to learn from each other about such a common but important issue!
"stop talking, he's my friend" or "go away he doesn't like you" hahaha
My brother and I argue on a regular basis and I usually try to remind myself that although sometimes what he says and does isn't ok, he is going through some really massive changes and all he might need is just some reminding of what is acceptable and what isn't.
Rivalry is not for everyone. What are some tips to sort things out when you and your siblings have a tiff?
Take a break before speaking to them. Talk about it when you both are calm and clear headed.
@FootyFan26 that is such a good point! Rivalry teaches us about conflict, which is just a thing that happens in life.
Why do you think that we might experience some rivalry or competitiveness with our brothers and sisters? Is it common and/or okay? When might it not be okay?
We're all a bit competitive at times and that shines through with our siblings, especially when they're somewhat close in age. Sometimes, siblings are also competing for the parents' attention.
It can be common and it's okay to have a bit of a rivalry between siblings but when it goes too far, it goes too far. And that's when it's not okay. It differs from sibling to sibling (as does everything). I can't say where my line is, but I know when it's been crossed. I can feel it. And I know that sometimes I can cross my siblings line but, and I am being totally honest here, sometimes I don't care because I am sick and tired of my line being crossed (and laughed at in the case of the pile of manure I am forced to call a brother) why should I care about their lines? I know it's a horrible thing, I shouldn't do what they do to me if I don't like it but it gets to the point where it happens so much, I'm done caring if they don't share the same concern for me. I'm done caring about their lines if they don't care about mine.
@Ben-RO great point - if you don't feel safe that is definitely an indication that something is wrong. I really agree with you here!
@N1ghtW1ng these are really hard questions when you have such little insight into others situations, but perhaps acceptance of what is and going from there? I stopped trying to help my brothers in the behavioural sense, because it's not really my place and it never made a positive impact. Now our relationship is better, but this is only my experience amongst the billions of sibling relationships out there. However, it mustn't feel good to be him at the moment
Our relationships with our family can really vary at times. What is your relationship like with your siblings?
It's pretty good these days, we've all moved out of home and are having lives, one of my sisters even has her own family now!
We used to fight heaps when we were younger though! Like. next level, went to boarding school to get away from it 😛
Do you have any siblings? If not, are there people that are a lot like siblings to you?
Younger bro.
Our relationships with our family can really vary at times. What is your relationship like with your siblings?
As kids we were best friends, partners in crime. Drifted apart in high school. We've got our differences and don't talk regularly especially now that I've moved out, but still have each others' backs and share stuff over facebook when we find something funny or something of interest.
@Bay52VU Oh i'm sorry to hear that. That must be hard if you were really close as children. My sister and I always had this problem so there's nothing to miss. But you must miss being close with your brother. We still love them no matter what, that's the strangest part of it all.
omh LOL that is crazy, I thought mine was bad. sibling rilvalry actually suckssss. my sister was the only person that made me lose my cool within 5 seconds.
Do you have any siblings? If not, are there people that are a lot like siblings to you?
Yes, I do have siblings. Two. A brother and a sister. *sigh*
You could even say I have a bad relationship with them.
@N1ghtW1ng it sounds you've got some differences, you'll have some great insight for this conversation
@N1ghtW1ng i have definitely heard your brother can be pretty tough to handle quite often!
Hola amigos! Tonight’s Getting Real session is all about sibling rivalry, and is moderated by Ben-RO, myvo and myself! Although it’s usually portrayed as something funny (like Bart and Lisa, Meg and Chris, or Dale and Brennan), at times it can be more serious and it seems to be worth a discussion! It would be great to hear about your experiences and tips.
Remember, please read the guidelines and, if you are feeling overwhelmed, please don’t hesitate to post in the tough times section. If you need more immediate help there is the emergency help and Lifeline (13 11 14) are also there to help.
Question 1: (an easy one)
Do you have any siblings? If not, are there people that are a lot like siblings to you?
Hey ya'll ! hope everyone is having a good night!
Do you have any siblings? If not, are there people that are a lot like siblings to you?
Yep, I've got 5 😄
@Glass_half_full great to have you here! Sounds like a big family, what's the borther-sister spread?
Do you have any siblings? If not, are there people that are a lot like siblings to you?
I do! I have two younger brothers, both teenagers! Cheeky fellas
I am one of 10, one of them is a half brother who I've had very little contact with but all up 10.
