What are you afraid of?
My name is Chelsea and I am afraid of storms, fire and spiders. What are you afraid of?? We all have fears, some of them may be really common (e.g. heights, snakes, injections) or they may be uncommon (the list is endless). It doesn't really matter what your fear is - what matters is how we cope with these fears. If they are impacting on your everyday life, it's time to do something about them and while talking to a health professional is a great idea, there are also a few practical things that you can do to help yourself when you are faced with those fears. We are going to be discussing some of these practical tips and while our discussion may not be quite as amusing as the following video, we will keep it upbeat, positive and we definitely won't judge your fear/s!
Monday 23 September at 8pm right here, to discuss your fears in a supportive environment, and learn some tips from other people who know how you feel!!
Hope you can join us.
Also, it might help to have a read of this story, about how one person overcame their fear! http://au.reachout.com/The-strange-fear
And check out this fact sheet for more info on phobias (http://au.reachout.com/What-is-a-phobia )
What are some of the physical and psychological things you feel when you are faced with a fear?
Paranoia. Intense adrenalin. Panic. Tense muscles. Tunnel vision. Racing thoughts.
What are some of the physical and psychological things you feel when you are faced with a fear?
Physical: shaky, cold sweats, racing heart, lump in my throat, feeling like I can't breath deeply enough
Psychological: racing thoughts, catastrophizing, looking around everywhere and trying to pay attention to everything that is happening around me
@Sophie-RO wrote:
Gail: can you explain what catastrophizing is for everyone?
It's basically thinking of every possible worst-case scenario.
@gail wrote:
@Sophie-RO wrote:
Gail: can you explain what catastrophizing is for everyone?It's basically thinking of every possible worst-case scenario.
Definitely could relate to that one when I am leaving my assignment to the last minute to finish 🙂
Now we have discussed the different fears we have, lets talk about the ways we cope with it
Do you have any coping mechanisms when faced with a fear? And How do you manage and work with your fear in your day-to-day life?
Do you have any coping mechanisms when faced with a fear? And How do you manage and you with around your fear in your day-to-day life?
Since my fears were based on my nightmares, it was in my dreams that I faced up to the things that scared me. Quite literally i turned a reccuring nightmare, into hunting a demon, who was huge and ugly, and the first time I met him, he stabbed me, and I woke up, writhing in pain. I had the same dream again soon after, and I killed the demon. Since then I've never really been afraid of anything, even death.
Which is odd considering I developed an intense paranoia, and a fear of my existence being a lie. But I wasn't afraid of that either, and explored my delusions, and even now I'm not content with how its turned out. The thing about being psychotic, is that you can't concentrate well, or think clearly, so it makes it difficult to overcome.
I like to think I'm not afraid of anything, but maybe I'm deluded about that as well.
Do you have any coping mechanisms when faced with a fear? And How do you manage and you with around your fear in your day-to-day life?
My fear of holes also apply to fear of looking at bee hives. I have to work with honey bees in one of my biology course and honey comb is involved. I just take it easy when I look at it. I don't force myself to look at the bee hive for too long.
I also don't particularly like spiders. Another of my biology course requires me catching them for identication. I just get one of my buddies to swipe the bugger off me if I found a one crawling on me.
I think the key is - don't panic!
Hi guys, sorry for jumping in so late. Forgot it was Monday!
1. Do you have a fear of something? If so, see if you could find the "official" name on this list and share it here!
I have a fear of pain and suffocation, I know they're both pretty rational, but suffocation I actually think about a bit and pain I find actually makes me stay out of things that you don't think of as causing any pain. It's just the possibility of pain coming from it.
I have a fear of failing and spiders, I don't think these are at the stages of phobia.
I've been diagnosed with social phobia, which is mostly my fear of judgement.
When did you first realise that you had this particular fear? Was it by accidential or a surprising discovery?
Fear of failing - I don't know how long I've really known, but when I saw it written here I just thought "Oh, I so have that."
Social phobia/judgement - I didn't realise this until around 2009 when I was diagnosed with it.
Spiders - In mid/late primary school I had a friend with a phobia of spiders, and I think mine developed from her. Mine has gotten a lot better in the last few years, though I can still have major freak outs.
pain - I realised this accidentally, I don't remember how. I think I was just talking to people about things and suddenly we realised that I avoid the possibility a lot.
suffocation - I was just thinking about it a couple of years ago and realised it's one of the things that just really gets me.
3. Have you told someone about your fear (not including tonight )? If you have, how did you feel afterwards? If you haven't, what could be some reasons for holding back?
Except for my actual diagnosed phobia, I have no problems mentioning those fears to people. I find that they're usually pretty common, and have no reason to feel embarrassed by them. They're mostly rational too (well, pain and suffocation), which probably helps a lot with that feeling.
My fear of spiders is pretty easily discovered by people.
It's the social phobia I'm really selective with who I tell. I used to happily tell anyone, but I've gotten more secretive. I'm not ashamed of it, I just don't want that to be one of the first things people associate with me now.
What are some of the physical and psychological things you feel when you are faced with a fear?
For something like a spider, I can't stop staring at it. I'll often have a bit of a jump/jerk if one appears. I can range from being mostly okay to going into a real freak out where I'll start feeling one crawling on me and really need someone around to calm me down.
For failing I get really uncomfortable. My thoughts get very negative and I can want to cry. I'll usually avoid anything that could make failing possible or make me aware of a failure.
Social phobia is the most intense. I get the butterflies in the stomach making me want to just throw up, not get out of bed, or just lock myself in the bathroom.
My thoughts go crazy.
I can pretty easily get to crying, and shaking happens too.
With the other two, just thinking about them makes me squirm and yet I imagine them more, similar to the feeling of the spiders crawling on me I can sort of feel/see it happening. The thing with pain is that when it actually happens, I'm not afraid, it's the idea of pain. Luckily I haven't had to deal with suffocation.
Do you have any coping mechanisms when faced with a fear? And How do you manage and work with your fear in your day-to-day life?
With spiders, first of, I get away from them. Then I'll usually get other people to help calm me down and try to rationalise that it's a spider and it wasn't as big as I'm thinking, it's not crawling on me etc.
For the social phobia I do a lot of rationalising. CBT didn't work too well for me when my psychologist was teaching me about it, but the last couple of years I've found it more natural and helpful.
I always have to think realistically about what I can and can't handle, making sure I don't put myself into too much.
http://au.reachout.com/How-to-be-more-mindful
http://au.reachout.com/Ways-to-relax
http://au.reachout.com/Relaxation-training
Having discussed how we react to our own fears...
How do other people react or how do you think they would react if they saw you facing a fear?
There's an expression I learned from a martial artist, which goes;
"Black Heart, Stone Face"
Which is how I approach anything I'm afraid of. Usually though, people can tell when I'm anxious because I go quiet, and normally I'm quite vocal. Lately, I get dystonia when I get anxious, so I get very tense. But earlier on, I never gave away that I was afraid of anything.
Generally I find people to be very reassuring about something I may be anxious with. With the exception of course being about reality. Nobody wants to think about that. And nobody can reassure you about it either.
How do other people react or how do you think they would react if they saw you facing a fear?
In my experience, people have been pretty good. My friends often know when I'm facing a fear, so they'll be patient with me and encourage me if I need it. If I'm struggling a lot they might offer to help, but generally they just stick by me and let me face it myself. I like that they don't make a big deal out of it.
People are usually pretty kind and supportive and want to help which is nice. I have also had people say to me that they think I have done well after I've faced something hard which is nice. I often don't realise how well I have done when I've faced a big fear, so it is lovely to have that acknowledgement from others 🙂
@DD: That's great to hear. In my experience it has always depended on the type of person. One's who acknowledge their fears are more accepting of those who face their fears, even if they are shivering all over, whereas those who try to deny their own are more critical of others.
@Birdseye: Thanks for joining us 🙂
@michine: Yeah I definitely agree!
@Birdeye: Hi! You just reminded me about social phobia! I have that too, how did I forget that... Whoops
. I agree, I think social phobia is a hard thing for other people to get and because they don't understand it they don't really know what to say about it.
@gail wrote:
How do other people react or how do you think they would react if they saw you facing a fear?
In my experience, people have been pretty good. My friends often know when I'm facing a fear, so they'll be patient with me and encourage me if I need it. If I'm struggling a lot they might offer to help, but generally they just stick by me and let me face it myself. I like that they don't make a big deal out of it.
Awesome to hear people have been so supportive - I hope that takes some of the worry out of it for people. Knowing that people around them will be supportive - not make the problem worse...
Having discussed how we react to our own fears...
How do other people react or how do you think they would react if they saw you facing a fear?
@T-W: Slayings fears in your dreams, I like it!
@ilovemycat: I hope tonights session will help you gain some new ways to cope 🙂
thank you michin i have been reading through and looking at all these 🙂
Do you have any coping mechanisms when faced with a fear? And How do you manage and you with around your fear in your day-to-day life?
I have a counting routine that helps calm me down. I also do the fingering for one of my favourite pieces of music (on the flute) and recite the piece in my head as I go, it really helps to ground me. I don't necessarily avoid my fears all the time - I often work at height, I walk along a dog track to uni each day, etc - so I just do my best to keep my breathing regular and keep myself as calm as possible while doing those things.
Coping mechanisms
I guess I should add other fears like failing the HSC, not getting the ATAR, and other school related stuff because they stress me out quite a bit at times.
But the way I cope with them now is to take deep breaths, maybe go for a run outside, lay on the grass looking at how big the sky is, putting things in perspective, reading my bible helps too.
Way better that what I used to do, which was to hold my breath and push my chest in applying pressure on my lungs. That never helped anyway!
Have you told someone about your fear (not including tonight 
? If you have, how did you feel afterwards? If you haven't, what could be some reasons for holding back?
I've never told anyone of my fears, that is until I've gotten over them. My reason for holding back has always been to not appear to be weak and afraid of anything.
@Gail: That's a great reason to share your fear with someone close. I've been put in quite a few situations where I have been freaked out of my mind.
