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Re: Bored . So Hello

Hey @missep not much has been happening. Been working very hard seeing as i have 2 months to go on my Contract. No word on the girl front atm.

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I'm a man.
A man who knows how to get things.

Re: Bored . So Hello

Hey @mrmusic i don't normally do much usually sleep or play video games.

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I miss my friend Andy Dufresne.

Re: Bored . So Hello

@scared01 Thanks for that. How have you been going haven't heard much from you.

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I'm a man.
A man who knows how to get things.

Re: Bored . So Hello

Hey @mrmusic I ended up working 10-6pm. So there is a 47 hour week done. It's a long weekend in Melbourne this weekend. However I have to work Monday. It's also my Birthday Monday

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I miss my friend Andy Dufresne.

Re: Bored . So Hello

Hey @mrmusic & everyone else! Missed out on this one Smiley Sad had an unexpected visit yesterday and ended up going into the city for a few drinks. It was fairly tame as she had work tomorrow but it was nice to see her.

 

I was a little distant at certain points in the evening - she could tell I wasn't feeling all that great, and she spent a solid hour or so trying to convince me that my desire to find a friend or partner who really gets me is a 'mental block' that I've placed on myself that's holding me back from being happy.

 

Her philosophy is that we shouldn't need anyone or anything outside of ourselves and that, as long as I'm trying to fill that void with something other than myself, even if I DID find someone like that it would just put pressure on them to be my happiness and wouldn't really resolve the emptiness that I've been feeling.

 

It's a conversation I've had with myself many times but I just can't come around to her way of thinking. She doesn't agree, but I can't help thinking there's a difference between 'being able to feel happy because you don't feel horribly alone all the time' and 'making your happiness someone else's responsibility'.

 

It's not as if I'm never happy; in fact, when I really look at it, my life is pretty well on track... with the one exception of not having anyone to share any of it with. I feel that if I were to ignore or downplay that urge, I would just be lying to myself and filling that 'void' with self-deception. She has people like that in her life already, which makes it kinda frustrating to hear all this from her--like, easy for you to say! Haha.

 

Sorry for the novel...! I would appreciate any insights you guys might have Smiley Happy

Re: Bored . So Hello

Hey @shio I think you're discussion last night is really interesting and I'm not sure there's a simple answer. Lots of happiness research suggests that happiness is an internal pursuit rather than an external one so in some regards your friend is right however we are social beings with a strong need for connection and positive social relationships has also been found to be a key contributor for happiness.

 

There's some really cool ideas about cultivating internal happiness from both Buddhism and positive psychology which might be worth looking into? 

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Re: Bored . So Hello

@Erin-RO Yeah, it's a difficult one! I begrudgingly admit that I agree with her for the most part but as you said, we are a social animal by nature and I feel I am just /acknowledging/ the limit to how happy I personally can be without those positive social relationships, rather than imposing a limit on myself.

 

Having a look at positive psychology now and there's plenty to digest - thanks for the helpful response!

Re: Bored . So Hello

nice to meet you Lisa @TOM-RO

 

hey @Brendos94 @shio@mrmusicand everyone

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Bored . So Hello

No probs @shio, let us know if you find any helpful answers Smiley Happy

Re: Bored . So Hello

Hi @scared01 how are you