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I have a stalker, and I feel isolated.

Starting back in 2012, i went into year 7. If that isn’t Scary enough, it was also the year I gained a stalker. As I’m changing and growing, I had someone watching my every move. Trust me, I never wanted it, or felt flattered. I felt so belittled and embarrassed, I couldn’t even tell my own parents. Fast forward to year 12 (2017) I finally told my mum after so many incidents of being followed and watched during school and one occasion out of school. My mum was so frustrated and empathetic towards me going through that and angered she went into school to talk to a deputy. This went well, as the stalking stopped almost completely! I didn’t have it in my thoughts constantly like I had during those 5 years. 

But now, 2 years on as if being anxious and depressed from those traumatic years of being watched and followed wasn’t enough. He’s back, at first I thought it would have to be a coincidence, seeing him drive past my house and look and smile at me, then as I drove he was parked down the street and followed me until I took a detour. 

Then he started appearing outside my work, again I thought there’d have to be another reason for it so I ruled it to be a coincidence again and again. Until last week when my neighbour came and asked if we knew someone who was parking outside our house in a car of his description, at first I said it would have to be a coincidence, until we had solid evidence that proved it was him, he had been sitting there at least twice within 3 weeks. 

I finally go to the police as I never thought it was a real concern and it was just strictly high school stalking. 

Now I’m just waiting to hear back from the police, I’m really struggling with it all, I’m super anxious, I’m taking measures to reduce my stress and remain sane. My parents don’t live near me and my boyfriend is away training at the police academy. If anyone could give me some advice and reassurance that would be amazing, I also don’t have any friends, so someone to talk to would be appreciated.

Happy Monday everyone 💋

Re: I have a stalker, and I feel isolated.

Hi @ShilosKeeper and welcome to the forums!

 

I think it's great that you have gotten in touch with the police for this issue and that you're looking for support here too

 

Right now it's sounds like it's very stressful for you at the moment so I would suggest some things that you can do to take care of yourself (self care)

- Try some deep breathing or meditation through an app such as Smiling Minds or headspace

- Do something creative like drawing, painting or colouring to de-stress and take your mind of things

- Getting some exercise (even in your own home) can help make you a bit less stressed 

Reach Out also has another thread with lots of self care methods you could try;

https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Getting-Help/1000001-COPING-STRATEGIES-amp-DISTRACTIONS/td-p/14288...

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Re: I have a stalker, and I feel isolated.

Hi @ShilosKeeper.

I'm a little speechless right now, that sounds so incredibly stressful...

I'm not surprised you don't feel flattered, I'm not sure anyone would expect you to.. what this guy is doing just sounds really, really creepy.

 

I've done some looking around online, and found this:

https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/safety-tips/safety-tips-stalking-victims

(no idea if you're a woman or not, but the information on this page should be useful for people of any gender)

The link has some really good ideas.

 

The whole thing sounds really stressful and traumatic, do you think seeing a therapist might help you cope?

Otherwise, the self care ideas that @not-an-otter suggested could be really useful, and there's often someone around to talk to here. 

Re: I have a stalker, and I feel isolated.

Oof that’s rough, idk what to say but I hope everything works out ok and that you are safe 🙃☺️

Re: I have a stalker, and I feel isolated.

thank you for taking time to reply! I actually have started meditation and it seems to help! I will try the other options too Smiley Happy 

Re: I have a stalker, and I feel isolated.

I checked out the link and it was useful, not that it matter but I am a woman Smiley Happy
I have seen a therapist about the situation and more in the past and I am in the process on picking back up some sessions! Thanks heaps for your time and info

Re: I have a stalker, and I feel isolated.

Hi @ShilosKeeper! What you're going through is so hard. It's a really tricky situation. Smiley Sad Having a stalker can make you feel really anxious and take over your life. I hope that the police can do something about it.

I'm glad that some things are helping you! Well done for seeing a therapist! Smiley Happy

Something that I have done in the past when I am walking alone is use an app that can set off an alarm, contact trusted people, send your location and make a recording of what is happening if you find yourself in an unsafe situation. You can also download apps that can make it look like you're getting a phone call, which can give you a way out of communicating with someone you don't want to talk to. Maybe you could pretend that you're on the phone with the police if he shows up again.