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Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

3. What are some barriers that may be stopping you or others from seeking help?

For me the biggest barrier would be the fear of burdening others with my problems, and also being judged.

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

When someone says "no I'm not okay" how do we respond appropriately ?

 
So the first thing is don't panic! It's actually totally okay to be not okay and just by being there and listening to the person, you've already helped to make things a bit more okay. Cool, right? Things aren't going to suddenly get worse just because you asked this question.  
 
Here's some steps you can take the first one might feel a bit scary! But it's just to be safe and trust me, 
 
1. Check they're safe, sometimes people who are not okay might feel like ending their life or hurting themselves not all the time, but it's always good to check. So for example if someone has self-harmed, do a bit of first aid with them or get some help from someone who can. If they're saying things like "it'll be over soon" it's good to ask what they mean by that here's an article with a bit more info  on what to do if that's happening. 
 
2. If someone says they're not okay, keep listening. You don't even need to solve any problems or look for solutions with them. It's actually better just to listen for a little while. It can feel really good just to be able to tell someone else that things are tough and having them go "yeah, that must be really hard". 
 
3. Check who can support them. This can include you, friends and family, but it's pretty much always good to have a chat to a doctor, counselor at school or someone else like that too. 
 
 
 
 
 

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

What are some barriers that may be stopping you or others from seeking help?

Oh there's soooo many. We even have this thing called the help-negation effect which is a really complicated way of saying that a symptom of mental illness for lots of people who are experiencing depression is that their brain makes them think that they can't get help or that they are not worth getting help. Etc etc. So it can be really hard for someone to feel like they can reach out. Asking the question helps break down the barrier that the illness might be making for them.  

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

Sorry I have to head off not feeling too well thanks everyone for the chat and all of your insightful responses - goodnight Smiley Happy

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

Barriers to seeking help are so various -
you mind being your own worse enemy as Ben-RO states, but also when your living in a remote community, or enclosed area that seems like you all depend on each other to get by, people think its a burden to put on others if you offload onto them so you keep it in - This is the perception and stigma I want to change, its not a burden its an OPPORTUNITY a chance to find a different path that you didn't see before, a possible chance a different feeling and hopefully a more positive outcome.
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Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

What are some barriers that may be stopping you or others from seeking help?

The whole stigma attatched regarding mental illness is a big one. Because mental illness is in your head no one can see it and often people will say that you are making it up. It's annoying because if you broke your arm people would be forcing you to go see a doctor and then supporting you as you recover but when it comes to a mental illness they ignore it and think it will go away. I've had people tell me that I am using my anxiety as an excuse (this was coming from a supervisor at my last job) or that its all in my head and I am making it up to get attention or that I am getting brainwashed by the meds I take to treat it.

The moment you say that you need help regarding a mental health issue people in society will look at you differently and no one wants that.

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

Goodnight @May_, I hope you get better soonSmiley Happy

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

Next question...

 

5.So you've asked all the questions had all the conversations, what next? Is it okay to check in? What are some tips for doing that? 

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

So you've asked all the questions had all the conversations, what next? Is it okay to check in? What are some tips for doing that? 

Maybe send them a text a day or so later something a long the lines of: Hi, just wondering how you've been since we last spoke. I wanted to let you know that I am there for you if you never need to talk, maybe we could get coffee next week?

That way you are letting them know that you care and am also giving them a chance to see you face to face if they want to, but not forcing them.

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!

Re: [CHAT]: RUOK? What to say if someone says "nope"

So you've asked all the questions had all the conversations, what next? Is it okay to check in? What are some tips for doing that? 

 

I reckon you should follow up and I think you shuold leave it at least a couple of days unless the person approaches you first.  I reckon I'd do it in a similar way I started the convo, in a casual manner and when there's a bit of time to chat and we're both chilled out.