cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Rsg these things can take time to surface, so taking a few months to come to terms with it is completely normal. Opening up about it can also take time and doesn't always feel good, but once it's out in the open you can start working on ways to cope with it and come to terms with it. @sarcperth could give you more details about what exactly you can do, but just remember it takes time so be patient with yourself

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

I should add that when I say prefer charges, its police jargon I fall into, to prefer a charge means to actually charge someone. The main aim is to investigate the sexual assault and ensure the person reporting receives all the care and support they need @sasperth

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

You’re never obligated to tell someone about your experience with sexual assault, but in some situations (like starting a new relationship) it can be something that you might choose to do, what are some things to think about if you’re ready to talk about it?

 

Hm, that's a tough question. Some things to think about would be where you can get help and additional support while talking about it. It can be really challenging when you do talk about it - because this might happen years later, for example. I think that you also have to think about whether you trust the person you're telling it to, and if you are starting a new relationship, how you can work together to make it great for everyone. Small, slow steps. 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

Victim blaming is what I meant, not slut shaming. Smiley Embarassed

 

You’re never obligated to tell someone about your experience with sexual assault, but in some situations (like starting a new relationship) it can be something that you might choose to do, what are some things to think about if you’re ready to talk about it?

 

For me, it was just something that came out in conversation. No thought went into it. If have to think about it, then I stumble on my words. So I just like with it just slips into conversation naturally.

 

But it is definitely a conversation that I need to have before becoming sexually involved with someone. 


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Rsg The answer would still be no, even if you don't say it and you seem to freeze. I honestly think that if someone is going to be a jerk and try something while you're intoxicated (and it looks like you're not fully functioning), they're bad news. 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Rsg Ask your psychologist for exercises to use when you are triggered. It takes time to process trauma and implement ways to manage and cope with its effects. 

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

We've talked about what we can do as survivors to talk about sexual assault, now let's talk about what the people around us can do

 

Getting support from family and friends is such an important part of the healing process, but sometimes they don’t know what to say/how to be that support in the face of an issue like sexual assault. What’s one piece of advice that you could give them to be better at supporting survivors?

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Rsg Hi, ah that sounds like you are having a hard time over this. It is something it sounds like you need to bring up with your psych that you felt like "an idiot". The psych maybe doesn't know that this is how you feel. Itis not something we can "read" always. Psychs are human too Smiley Happy   By the way, you aren't ...and I would never think that of somebody who has disclosed such a difficult thing.

Its really hard to answer that question, but in the processing of trauma there are lots of different types of therapies. Sometimes just talking it through and getting a response that is understanding and helping you to have some insight about it can be enough, but if you are suffering something called post traumatic stress you may need a bit more of a differnet type of therapy. At the moment I am doing some EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing with my clients which is working a treat for many people who have PTSD. Some times it is finding the right therapist for you who works best for you. Beleive me it can get better and there is treatment that can work, so don't give up hope. Smiley Happy

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

Getting support from family and friends is such an important part of the healing process, but sometimes they don’t know what to say/how to be that support in the face of an issue like sexual assault. What’s one piece of advice that you could give them to be better at supporting survivors?

 

  • believe them
  • Don't victim blame (e.g. ask what they were wearing, whether they were drinking)
  • don't push them to talk about details
  • Don't tell them to get over it or think that they should be over it in a certain period of time

More than one, but I could probably keep going for a while Smiley Tongue