cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

you’re never obligated to tell someone about your experience with sexual assault, but in some situations (like starting a new relationship) it can be something that you might choose to do, what are some things to think about if you’re ready to talk about it?

 

if the person really cares for you they will show compassion and understanding but I think you have to be patient and give them time to process what you have told them. In my personal experience when starting a relationship with someone after you have experienced sexual assault there are often points in the relationship where you may be triggered whilst being intimate with a partner. I think it is crucial in these moments to stop and talk about how you are feeling with your partner and not push your feelings aside because you are worried you might 'let them down' or 'bum them out'. If you partner really cares for you they will understand and not pressure you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

Getting support from family and friends is such an important part of the healing process, but sometimes they don’t know what to say/how to be that support in the face of an issue like sexual assault. What’s one piece of advice that you could give them to be better at supporting survivors?

 

Just remember that you don't need to have all the answers and that you just being there is the best thing you can do for them. Don't force them to talk about it if they aren't ready. Never blame them for what has happened.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

Getting support from family and friends is such an important part of the healing process, but sometimes they don’t know what to say/how to be that support in the face of an issue like sexual assault. What’s one piece of advice that you could give them to be better at supporting survivors?

 

Don't retort negatively. The last thing that someone needs is for their family and friends to label, blame, and/or not believe them. Another thing to also consider is to not always having to think of a solution straight away and impose that onto them. The person you care about may still be trying to process what's happened to them. They don't need other people who are trying to find a 'quick fix' without truly understanding the situation themselves. 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Rsg Hey Im replying to your other question about consent. You can participate in consensual sexual activity and at any point you can withdraw your consent, as long as you make it clear you want the activity to stop. If they continue it is sexual or indecent assault. If you are drunk it does not matter, if youve said no previously and freeze up then we would have to look at all of the circumstances and speak to the alleged offender (sorry for the police speak) because sometimes their admissions help corroborate your account. I know it sounds confusing, but we must look at every case completely, but we have charged people with sex assault in similar circumstances. My advice would be for you to speak to your local police and ask for specialist sex assualt investigators, the laws in each state are different which also tends to complicate things 

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Chessca_H Just asking people to listen is so important. They don't have to "fix it" or advise you, in fact it is best if they don't. It is past and done, there is nothing they can do to change that, but they can accept you are still you, and you haven't changed.Listening in a on-judgemental way is very healiing. Ask them to be patient and to ask what you need, not assume they know. One of the best things to do is to try to encourage people to get on with their usual life but at the same time to allow the person time to heal and permission to feel what they feel. Being in a space where the person can have a cry and not be shamed by that. 

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Myvo

 

I like your point about "fixing" I think some people want to show they care about someone by helping them to find the solution to the problem or a way of working through the experience. I think it's much more important to aks about what support you can offer, spend lots of time listening and not judging. I think sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there and listen.

 

What do you reckon @sarcperth @sasperth

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

Getting support from family and friends is such an important part of the healing process, but sometimes they don’t know what to say/how to be that support in the face of an issue like sexual assault. What’s one piece of advice that you could give them to be better at supporting survivors?

 

Do not pressure them for details, it can be extremely traumatic - let them tell you at their own pace.

Reassure them that they are loved 

Understand that at different points in their life (especially if assault occurred at a young age) that the person will understand what happened differently and more in depth as they get older and thus they will constantly be processing it and trying to heal. Don't even blame the survivor for not 'getting over it'

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

@Ben-RO Yes Ben that is it ! Asking the person, not telling them, and being there big time Smiley Happy 

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

I'm gonna call it a night. Had a massive day and struggling to stay awake. Night everyone. Thanks for participating in this chat.

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [SPECIAL GUEST] Supporting Survivors (trigger warning: sexual assault)

The question of consent is a really complicated issue, no will always mean no, but sometimes things just happen that makes you rethink or question whats happened, thats why it is always important to speak to a specialist sex assault investigator, not just your local police or detectives.