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Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

At first glance, mental health and sex can seem like pretty unrelated parts of your life. But is that really true? How do you think mental health comes into play when it comes to play with a partner?

 

A few ways I think

- You could feel pressured by your partner and that's not ok and could make you feel pretty crap

- Certain mental health conditions can decrease your desire for sexual activity and that might be frustrating or upsetting

 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

hello everyone!

Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

At first glance, mental health and sex can seem like pretty unrelated parts of your life. But is that really true? How do you think mental health comes into play when it comes to play with a partner?
Ah the end of that question is confusing me so much Smiley Tongue I keep thinking I've misread it.
So yes, they are related. It's important to feel completely comfortable with what you're doing and if you're feeling anxious or stressed, that won't help things. It'll only worsen things, especially if you feel particularly pressured or upset.

@Ben-RO it's not easy for sure, because I'm also very repulsed by sex stuff, so it's kind of awkward for me especially. I know not all aces are the same, and some are absolutely comfortable with this but I am not one of them.
It makes it difficult for me trying to fit in as well, because it's the expect social norm to like, or want to try, this sort of thing. Throw back to high school when one guy was saying something about porn and I, of course, looked confused because I've never watched it on purpose (I have on occasion accidentally seen snippets and nope nope nope, not for me) to which he said "oh everyone's seen/watched porn". Yeah, no. Having that social norm can also make it difficult in relationships because if one side feels like they don't want sex, and might find it difficult to properly convey that feeling without "offending" (I say it like that, because as sex is a social norm, not wanting it is more like not wanting your partner rather than sex. At least, I hope it's not really like that, I don't know for certain).

So I've completely lost my train of thought. But I'm sure I was pretty much done anyway Smiley Tongue
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Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

What are some important qualities to have in a relationship when it comes to making sure sex is a safe and fun experience for everyone involved?

I think you guys covered it pretty well already! Consent, trust, not pressuring anyone to do things, COMMUNICATION, debriefing, etc.

At first glance, mental health and sex can seem like pretty unrelated parts of your life. But is that really true? How do you think mental health comes into play when it comes to play with a partner?

They are SO related. Body confidence, anxieties about many parts of sex, labido, confidence, self esteem and many other things that are quite closely related to mental health all come into play in intimate relationships. And communicating with your partner about these is the most important part even though it can be hard sometimes particularly if you are new at it/or with a new person.

Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

At first glance, mental health and sex can seem like pretty unrelated parts of your life. But is that really true? How do you think mental health comes into play when it comes to play with a partner?

 

I think I'm similar to @N1ghtW1ng... don't have much experience or interest actually.

Someone may have more or less interest in sex because of a MI

Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

Those are some really great points @May_! I'm asexual as well (although I'm not repulsed by it, so much as just being disinterested), so it's been really interesting to see how people think about these things. I particularly like the point about body image and confidence, since even though I can't imagine myself having to worry about sex anytime soon, I can definitely empathize with being uncomfortable about being naked around other people, having been a swimmer for most of my life.

 

(Not that I have huge body image issues, just that...you know. Nude is not my preferred form of attire.)

Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

Next question!!!

 

Dealing with  mental health issues can sometimes make exploring sex and sexuality a  tricky situation, how can you make sure you look after yourself in that  journey if you’re having a hard time with your mental health?

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Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

Hey everyone

 

Umm I think sex can be a really big part of a relationship so in that sense it can definitely impact your emotions/your feelings of safety and worthiness  as well depending on the situation so I guess thats where conset, trust, communication etc come in!

Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

oooft these questions are really tough, ill let someone else answer first Smiley Tongue

Re: [Special Guest] Sexual Health with Nurse Nettie from Playsafe Australia

@May I agree that sex and mental health are related on multiple levels.  How you feel about yourself can have a big impact on the kind of sexual experiences you have. Feeling ashamed of your body or having low self esteem can lead some people to feel deserving of very little affection or even respect. If you don't have much regard for yourself, you may not expect your partner to demonstrate all those great qualities people have mentioned: trust, communication, respect for boundaries and the need for consent.  It may also make you less concerned about protecting your body from infections or unwanted pregnancy... and then ending up with an STI or an unplanned pregnancy can have a cascade of mental health effects too.