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TG

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@Bay52VU You could start by googling "Active Listening."  There's just a few basic skills that, once you're aware of them and become conscous of using them, will change the way you process and navigate conversations. Plenty of sites, even "Active Listening for Dummies" is out there Smiley Very Happy 

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@roseisnotaplant yes definitely! I think i would like to here what it's like to open up first, because I reckon if we think about what it's like for us, we can take a pretty good guess at what it will be like for others!

 

Have you ever told someone you were not OK? If you feel like sharing, tell us a little bit about it! 

TG

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Thanks Smiley Happy Pleasure to be here!  Hello @Katherine-ruok Smiley Wink  Good golf today.... 

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@roseisnotaplant Persistence can also be a key factor (although some might see it as annoying, in which case you'd need to be able to tell when you're overstepping the boundaries). I did have one person who refused to open up so I just lightly chatted to her everytime after class and eventually she did open up. 

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Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@roseisnotaplant I think a lot of the time it comes down to the kind of relationship we have with the person. We need to build trust with someone before tthey feel comfortable opening up. And for me at least, a big part of trust is spending time with them and showing them we genuinely care. Once you've got the trust it's about asking the question and showing you really want to hear what they have to say. And that you won't judge them or throw it back in their face. In terms of asking, If my guts telling me someone's not doing too well I might ask a second time and say something like, "It's just I've noticed you seem a bit off. You know I care about you. If anything's up you can chat with me about anything and I mean anything." And I'll make sure to spend a little bit more time with them in case there's a better time for them to open up Smiley Happy

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Have you ever told someone you were not OK? If you feel like sharing, tell us a little bit about it!

 

I've never told anyone I wasn't doing okay (because rn I'm doing pretty okay) but I have come out to a few people, which isn't the same thing but I think they're very related because you're opening up and sharing a part of yourself that you hadn't before. I came out to my Mum by just sitting there for like two hours before she was like, 'Is there something you want to tell me?' And it took be about five years (great David Bowie song) to tell her I was gay and it was awkward as hell, but she was cool with it which I knew she would be and it felt good knowing that she knew and was there to talk to if i needed it.

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Hey @TG just a heads up, please check over our guidelines before posting. 

 

Don't give treatment or advice, be aged between 14 and 25 and don't give out any identifying information (like where you are). 

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@anastasia_ruok @RevzZ Both great points! Trust is definitely an important factor in building that kind of open relationship with someone.

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Have you ever told someone you were not OK? If you feel like sharing, tell us a little bit about it! 

 

I have even though I wouldn't say it's one of my strong suits, so I'm proud of myself for being able to open up about it. I guess going back to that uncomfortable feeling we've been mentioning from the side of being the asker, being the person asked isn't always the most comfortable experience. Opening up to someone you trust can be a really great experience and a helpful first step to getting to a more ok place Smiley Happy

TG

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Becuase getting feedback is such an essential thing for learning and coping, some professional peer supervision is expected of psychologists & counsellors. We need to have somebody we can call up when we're not OK, which does happen from time to time because after all, we're human too!  It's especially important because we understand how not being OK can affect our work. This of course is true of many kinds of work, but in this job, you're supposed to have a level of self-awareness that may not really be expected in other jobs. Doesn't mean it's not important across the board. Having said that, yep, talking to someone in the same line of work often leads to the conclusion that one's interpretation was right in the first place, but sometimes you discover a different way of thinking about the same thing, which is as a rule INVALUABLE.