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Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@roseisnotaplant! That's very clever! You made it okay to not be okay! 

 

@Bay52VU brilliant ideas, we can take some of the pressure off by picking a way of talking that suits the person we're supporting Smiley Happy 

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Do you think people might feel a bit scared of saying they are not OK? What can you do to help someone feel a bit more comfortable about opening up? 

 

Yeah people can definitely be scared. 

I think maybe you could make someone comfortable by not being too serious, the conversation doesn't have to be a sit down one. I know with my brother I've taken him out for dinner or gone out for the day with him if I know something is up, and it works a little more than the intimidating "we need to talk". I also read somewhere that people feel comfortable talking in the car, because you're not neccesarily looking at the person and you're next to each other so theres no power thing...

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Do you think people might feel a bit scared of saying they are not OK? What can you do to help someone feel a bit more comfortable about opening up?

Listen without judgement - I know for me that helps alot! I have one friend who will always offer really judgemental opinions and so I dont want to talk to her about stuff because it feels like crap to be judged!

Listening and empathising is the best step to building trust -

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@Katherine-ruok Yeah, I think it is definitely important to remember that just listening to somone can be so valuable and important.

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

From all the answers to this question I keep thinking about @Katherine-ruok's comment about diversity in actors personalities. The way that works best to ask if someone is ok seems to be pretty diverse too!

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Do you think people might feel a bit scared of saying they are not OK? What can you do to help someone feel a bit more comfortable about opening up? 

 

Definitely. There are plenty of reasons, just one of them being fear of not wanting to appear weak and needy, as well as not being judged. They may also not be necessarily scared but just simply unsure themselves.

In terms of helping someone feel more comfortable, I think @roseisnotaplant's idea is spot on. In my own experience, going first is always the biggest issue and there's been many awkward silences when no one starts off. It's definitely more comforting to respond than to begin.

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

I love this thing called active listening! Instead of jumping in and trying to find all the solutions, you focus on understanding what the person is saying and showing them that you're listening. It sounds really simple, but it's actually one of the most amazing things you can do to support someone Smiley Happy 

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Yeah exactly and feeling heard is the first big thing that needs to happen before you start working through the other stuff, if the person doesn't feel heard you've probably lost them... thats just my experience anyway
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

These are some amazing answers guys! Now that we're coming towards the end of tonight's chat, let's talk about what we can do once we've had the RUOK? conversation:

 

If someone says they're not OK what are some things you can do next? 

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Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

If someone says they're not OK what are some things you can do next? 

 

Well, I think we've establlished that listening is important, so LISTEN. I think pointing them in the direction of useful resources is also a good idea.