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Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

@Bobby-Twenty10 I really like the term "inviting in"! It's bothered me for a while now that coming out can sound a bit like in order to live as who you are you have to accomodate other people's opinions on it, so I think that inviting in makes it sound more like there's some more choice in it Smiley Happy

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Next question

 

Coming out is a really individual thing and can be different from person to person. What are some different ways that someone could come out?

 

my own experience... I didn't want to face having to tell everyone in person so actually Facebook was a great way for me to tell all my friends and family that i was gay, I also used an online support forum similar to ReachOut. So i am very thankful i grew up in the world of social media and the internet where I could find support outside of my friends and family. 

If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes
- Andrew Solomon

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

@Bobby-Twenty10 what does inviting in involve? does it differ much from coming out in general? 

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Welcome @redhead!

 

@Bobby-Twenty10 i really like that concept of inviting in. 


@OceanMaster1207 i think it's an interesting point that we need to share these things because our society hasn't quite got the hang of diversity just yet. If " coming out" one day become an old concept that noone uses, will there still be a process where we "invite in" people we want to share the lessons we're learning about ourselves? 

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Coming out is a really individual thing and can be different from person to person. What are some different ways that someone could come out?

 

Ive always thought of it as the time you tell people in words. But more recently I have been realising you sort of indirectly come out when you start expressing yourself through looks and behaviour. So in a way you end up coming out without ever actually saying anything to some people.

|| Life runs in cycles, the wheel never stops turning, no matter how dark the night morning comes, no matter how cold the winter, spring comes. When you feel despair know that the wheel is turning, joy will come. ||

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Coming out is a really individual thing and can be different from person to person. What are some different ways that someone could come out?

 

Honestly most of the time coming out doesn't happen for me by telling someone directly, I just kind of mention things around being bisexual offhand and people just sort of put it together. But I think there are a lot more ways to come out to people now than there have been before, especially with social media. Back in the day the first person I came out to I told via MSN messenger, so take how long ago that was as you will Smiley Tongue

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Coming out is a really individual thing and can be different from person to person. What are some different ways that someone could come out?

 

There are so many ways! And i guess i like the point a lot of you have made that you invite new people in all the time. You might feel comfortable making an announcement, but you will still probably finding yourself wanting to invite people in even after you are loud and proud about who you are and why that's important to you.

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Coming out is a really individual thing and can be different from person to person. What are some different ways that someone could come out?

 

It really is an individual thing. I think I first had like a trial coming out experience at school, and totally went about it the wrong way- expressing myself in a way that wasn't really me I guess. Lucky going to uni was like a clean slate, and I decided to just explore a bit about who I was and what I liked and what I didn't. I then made the decision to tell my parents one at a time that I was interested in guys because I felt like it would allow me to feel more free meeting new people who I might be interested in.

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Hey @OceanMaster1207. I guess the process may not differ so much as how we think about it. Language can have such a huge impact and the idea of coming out of the closet implies that there are things to hide. Whereas inviting in suggests an invitation for people to know you better, if that makes sense?

 

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Coming out is a really individual thing and can be different from person to person. What are some different ways that someone could come out?

 

I think regardless of how you come out, it's important to be safe and have support!

I came out to my family about my sexuality in person. It wasn't the best experience, it wasn't the worst but I had support from friends which helped a lot! I haven't come out to my family about my gender (trans non-binary) but hey, I'm sure it will happen in time.