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Hi I’ve been struggling with school refusal and I would like help with it does anyone have any tips
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Hey @Blueberry_Hamster I'm so sorry to hear that you've been struggling with school refusal. I went through this and I can understand how mentally draining it can be, but also a relieving feeling when you've spoken about it and people are there to help you.
I absolutely agree with everything @butterfly21 has said and it even helped me a lot when I sat down and answered those types of questions.
If your school has the resources, I'd absoutely recommend meeting with a school counsellor to talk through these things with you. And even speaking with the school and your parents could be a step in the right direction so that everyone can support you through this.
Trying to pinpoint the reason/s of why you are refusing to go to school is very important to be able to minimise the impact of that when actually attending. But absolutely also listing the positive reasons to go to school can help to switch your mindset from 'everything is awful', to 'I don't want to miss these things'.
It is amazing that you've spoken up about this and I know that everyone here in these forums are here for you and believe you can do whatever you need to, to feel better 💕
I am so sorry to hear that you have been struggling with school refusal recently. I can imagine it would be quite an overwhelming and distressing situation for you. A good way to start is by reflecting on and identifying the reasons behind such feelings towards attending school. Have there been any significant changes with your school environment, friendship group, teachers or extra curricular activities and outside life recently? These could be contributing to your decreased desire to attend school.
It is also quite common to have feelings of anxiety around starting a new school year, following a new routine or stepping outside the comfort of home. Additionally, if you feel like you are having trouble with grades, falling behind with content or not understanding assigned learning material this can heighten resistance to attending school. Do you feel like there are any subjects that might be more difficult for you (this could be in terms of content, teacher/teaching style or peer groups in the class)?
Here are some general tips to help you regain confidence and motivation in attending school. Firstly, try and figure out what the biggest underlying issues are that are making you apprehensive of school, that way you can target them with direct strategies. Finding activities that are enjoyable and positive for you is important and establishing a strong network of friends will help you feel more comfortable and supported. If the thought of going to school for the whole day is overwhelming, you could try going for smaller parts of the day and gradually build up from there. I know it may seem quite daunting now but working on trying to figure out the main factors driving this will help you figure out a positive way forward 💙
Struggling with school refusal sounds so hard and tiring. It seems like it may be taking a pretty big toll on you emotionally.
Echoing what @SmilingSeahorse has said already, it might be helpful to reflect on your feelings - by chatting with your support network, psychologist, or through journalling. Some helpful prompts might be:
- When have I felt these emotions towards school before (e.g., last term maybe)?
- What comes to mind when I think of the word 'school'? (e.g., friends, teachers, lots of work, failure)
- What do I fear will happen if I go to school? A mean group of friends maybe, or too much work, feeling lonely and rejected etc.
- What are the benefits of going to school, or what will help me to cope with the feared outcomes of going to school?
- Is there anything that might be fun, exciting, or good about going to school? For example, growing in my understanding of some cool topic, joining a club, etc
Having a chat with the school counsellor (are they potentially free some afternoon, so you don't have to go to school that day) may help too.
Gradually taking steps and building towards going a full day to school might help too - starting from thinking about going to school for a few days, then taking a step in the school carpark another few days, then walking inside the building after that!
You can do this! We are all here to support you and help you to cope with this feeling and take a step in your chosen direction!~ 😁
This might help too!
