confusing stuff
so I'm trying to figure out my sexuality right? and at first (because i had only ever had crushes on guys) when i realised that I had a crush on one of my female friends, (who was bi at the time) i immediately thought "oh, I must be bi'' but then over time I sort of started losing interest in guys and said i was Lesbian. but a few weeks ago I was thinking and I realised that I still pay attention to guys and want them to pay attention to me, so I'm back to being Bi, I'm super confused and just want the confusion to stop, anyway i want to know if anyone else feels or has felt this way before.😊
Comments
Hey @Zoolie
Working out your sexuality over time can be difficult and is something most queer people have struggled with. You are not alone. As other people have mention, sexuality is a spectrum and it can fluctuate over time. Labels can be helpful when it comes to communication, however often people don’t neatly fall into boxes. Also, labels should make things easier for you, it becomes a bit counterproductive if finding the right one is causing you stress.
It’s okay and normal to go back and forth between labels, as frustrating as it is. You’ll work out in time what fits best for you in time. You’ll find the people you attracted to and the commonality between them, whether it be gender, physical appearance, or personality. From there you should get a better understanding of your sexuality. Try to be patient with yourself. Remain curious and try to be patient with yourself.
Hey@Zoolie
i understand how confusing figuring out your sexuality can be. As @Chloe-RO said, sexuality can be fluid for many people which makes it all a bit more confusing. The good thing is you don't need to label yourself if you don't want to or haven't decided what you identify with yet! I haven't given myself a label as I get a bit unsure of my own sexuality sometimes and I haven't had any issues, people will rarely ask about your preferences anyways ☺️ and if they do you can always just say you're still working it out or say whatever you identify most with at the time.
I'd also recommend looking at some resources and seeing if they can help you figure out your sexuality, there are many online that will explain the whole spectrum of sexualities people identify with.
I hope you find some answers! Good luck ☺️
Hi there @Zoolie ,
Thank you for your post. After reading your post, we recognise that understanding your sexuality is 'confusing stuff'. Believe it or not, you are not alone. There are many young people on the forums here that have similar experiences where they question their sexuality.
Know that for some people, sexual orientation and desire may not be rigid - this means, it can be fluid and change throughout their lives. I recognise this doesn't give you a clear-cut answer in regards to your sexuality, but it does tell us that it's okay if it changes from day to day! It's important that you are comfortable in your own body.
You can read of other's experiences right here on the forums: https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Sexuality/This-is-so-frustrating/td-p/494985
At the same time, have you ever contacted QLife? They are a free and anonymous LGBTQIA+ resource.
We look forward to hearing how things go for you.
@Zoolie OMG I am the same way, I only find girls attractive but I've only ever liked boys but I think I'm lesbian, but idk. Something to think abt is are you just liking boys and wanting attention from them because that's what's considered 'normal' and that's how we were taught to feel. Like look stuff up on comphet which is compulsory heterosexuality, I've found videos abt that useful. Hope this helped ☺️
