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Addicted to exercise
Hi Guys.
For 2 years now I have struggled with anorexia, binge eating and exercise addition.
I seeked out help approx 6 months ago and my eating habits got abit better and I got to a healthy yet slim weight, and still exercising at home.
Things have quickly spiralled down hill as my exercise addiction has gotten worse. I am finding myself exercising for 2 and half hours a day of intense exercise, suffering from anxiety because I was too tired to exercise but had to push through. I work 12 hour shifts so I would wake up at 4am to exercise before my 12 hour shift, and then even on night shift I struggled to get enough sleep in the day because as soon as I woke I remember I need to exercise and found it hard to settle after. I will exercise through sickness and my real issue is the feelings I get when I dont exercise. I feel anxious, guilty, depressed and end up binge eating then taking action to remove food because I feel I have no self control.
I have taken the steps to cut social media, remove my fit bit and am on my 3rd day of no exercise. I feel like the only way to get out of this is to cut exercise completely for a bit and then slowly re introduce it in a normal manner. For the past 3 days i have suffered from binge eating, depressed and suicidal thoughts and loneliness, but I know that I HAVE to deal with this because If i start exercising again sure it will remove these temporary feelings but it will also send me back on the addiction hamster wheel, and i need to get off it.
Along with the exercise addition I have a fear of losing control of my weight without it. But even when I was slim I was never happy with my body image.
Comments
Hi @Ward88 ,
That sounds really tough, it sounds like you've made some really great steps towards recovery though, and it must have taken a lot to seek help after struggling for so long.
Eating disorder recovery can be tricky, and it's normal to have bumps in the road along the way - I'm wondering if you've ever checked out the services that The Butterfly Foundation provide? They have a national helpline where you can connect with qualified counsellors, and they also have an online chat service . Having some extra support while you're in a recovery phase can be really helpful - I'm hearing that you've made some huge steps but are finding it really tough to cut down on the excessive exercising. It can be really hard, and you don't have to do it alone.
BodyMatters Australia are another service that do a lot around recovery and treatment, including looking at healthy body image and health at every size models.
We're also always here to chat - it sounds like the last few days have been pretty tough for you. How are you feeling today?
Yes it is really tough atm but I know it is what needs to happen.
Today I'm not feeling that great, again with feeling anxious because of not
exercising leading to other behaviours.
My husband is a great support but has to work so I am by myself all day
which I am finding a struggle
I have looked at the butterfly foundation but the other one; they are very
helpful thankyou!
Reading that was like reading my own life story! I also struggle with anorexia nervosa, anorexia athletica and binge eating.. I also have struggled with them for a similar amount of time as you (just over 2 years). And on top of those I have a few other disorders. I just wanted to let you know, you’re not alone! I’m also proud of you for wanting to recover and taking steps to act on recovery! That’s not easy
Also are you currently receiving any professional support?
No no professional support at this current moment just my husband helping
me get through.
We sat down together today to put a plan in place for the next month just
to have things more set in place that I have I suppose goals to work
towards and to track my progress.
It's hard now but I suppose it has to get worse before it gets better!
Hi @Ward88! Welcome to the forums!
I'm sorry that you've been struggling with an addiction to exercise. 😞 I think you've shown some incredible insight and it's great that you've identified that this is a problem for you and want to change your habits. You sound like you have a really supportive husband. 🙂 You're right, things may be challenging now and there might be a long road ahead, but people can get unstuck at any time and we are always learning about what helps us.
Well done on putting a plan in place and setting some goals! I've heard that self-monitoring can be beneficial for people with eating issues. Something that could also help when you feel like you're having trouble sticking to your plan are distraction techniques. We have a list of coping strategies and distractions if you need some inspiration. 🙂