I'm sorry you're feeling sad. I've heard that mental health journeys can often be described as like a squiggle or rollercoaster. It's okay to have ups and downs from time to time. I don't think you're a waste of space. We all love chatting to you on here and reading your lovely messages of support. It can be really draining to be an empathetic person. Supporting people can take a toll. I hope that you can do some self-care and show yourself some love too.
Hi @Maryhadalittlelamb, I don't think we have spoken before on RO, but I just read through your thread and I think there is a chance we have a lot in common. I can empathise with the feeling of putting other people's needs before my own to the extent that it becomes draining - I find it really hard to put myself first too. I'm sorry that your experience with your counsellor left you feeling numb and sad, it can be disheartening to reach out for help and still feel down.
I don't know what you're going through exactly, and I won't say I know what it feels like, because everyone's experience is different, but here are a few words based on my own experience. I know what it feels like to wake up in the throws of a rough patch that seems to have lasted in a long time, and it is really hard. But I also know that life is comprised of rough patches and smooth patches, ups and downs. This gives me hope when I'm in a dark place, because I know that this feeling, while painful and disheartening, is only temporary. I make a concerted effort to think of the times when I have felt differently, when things haven't felt so hard, because I know that life can be like that again. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, it won't feel so hard.
I also know that reaching out for help and talking to others is one of the most difficult, but important, things you can do, so you should be very proud of yourself for reaching out for help and support. Connection with others can be difficult, especially when you feel like your friends are toxic and negative. Are there any people in your life right now that you trust that you feel you can lean on for support?
I hope you know that I, and the whole RO community, are behind you, every step of the way. You sound like such a giver, which is a beautiful an generous thing, so I hope that we can repay you for your kindness and support you too. Thinking of you x
Its nice to meet you. Thank you. Thank you for your compassion and kind words. I'm in tears. And I don't really have many friends anymore, I shut a lot out. But I'll keep in mind that life dose have smooth patches and I'll wait for it. Thankyou I really mean it. Y o u are so giving but don't forget to make time for yourself sometimes it's tirering always caring. X