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Re: Angry

It is for sure a vicious circle @lokifish @Bee. Thank you both for empathising Heart In answer to your question lokifish I have over a year of the program left Smiley Sad It's very long and intensive. I have sessions once or twice every week. 

 

I'm really struggling tonight. I just want to stop trying to keep going. Everybody in my family is sick in some way or another and my parents aren't handing my siblings mental health needs at all and I'm so frightened and exhausted. I want to disappear - I want to escape. I can't do this anymore. I can't help anybody anymore. I can't be here anymore but there's nowhere else to fucking go. 

Re: Angry

hey @DruidChild

sounds really tough Smiley Sad are you safe tonight ? 

are you able to escape your family tonight, do some self-care ? im really sorry you feel like thisHeart are any helplines an option ?

Re: Angry

Thanks @litgym. Heart

I'm just. I'm so tired of crying. I'm so tired of shaking. I'm so tired of feeling sick. I'm so tired of insomnia. I'm so tired of being afraid. I'm so tired of being alone. I'm so tired of the memories. I'm so tired of the pain. And now there's all this family stuff on top of what was already a tough day because my (old) therapist cancelled an appt for the third time AND I was dumb enough to look at the fb page of someone who doesn't speak to me anymore. 

I'm just watching funny YouTube videos to try and idk ignore everything except Eliza Taylor. I feel like such a terrible person for avoiding all my family's problems though; I'll have to confront them at some point and do something about it all since nobody else will.

I appreciate the suggestion but helplines often make things worse for me.  I will probably get through it safely though. I usually do. 

 

Re: Angry

Hey @DruidChild, I can feel your pain, it must be really agonising, isn't it?

I think it's great that you've decided to watch YouTube videos as a means of distraction. I also do that sometimes when I feel overwhelmed. How is watching YouTube videos making you feel now?

Re: Angry

I'm just tired @Esperanza67. Sometimes the pain gets so much that it goes away. And all you want to do is run and run until you're somewhere where nobody knows who you are. 

I had to stop the distraction and do my DBT homework and now I can't stop crying. 

Re: Angry

@DruidChild I'm sorry to hear tonight is tough<3
That is a long program! I wish you the very best going through it Smiley Happy
I think it is reasonable for wanting to ignore family problems with everything going on. Hopefully having a chat with them helps x
Crying is okay. Crying can be theraputic.
Did you want to talk about why you're crying? Is it because of the DBT homework?
Here for you <3

 


Next weeks Getting Real: SCAVENGER HUNT RO STYLE!
Don't forget to practice self-care regularly!

Re: Angry

I'm sorry for dropping out last night @Bee, thank you for replying Heart 

Re: Angry

@DruidChild how are you feeling this morning ? Heart

Re: Angry

No Worries, you're very welcome @DruidChild it was pretty late when I logged in, so i figured that you may have gone to bed and not seen my post Smiley Happy

How have things been today?

 


Next weeks Getting Real: SCAVENGER HUNT RO STYLE!
Don't forget to practice self-care regularly!

Re: Angry

@litgym @Bee thanks for checking in Heart I’m a bit wrecked tbh, I’m so exhausted from the constant anxiety and guilt. I wish I could leave for a while. I’ve been trying to distract myself all afternoon/evening but it’s hard because I feel like I don’t deserve to do anything enjoyable because I’m such a worthless daughter/sister.