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Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hi. It's been a while since I've posted. I don't feel depressed but I do feel shit. I had my first day back at work today for the new year and I'm already having anxiety over it. But it's not just that. I'm anxious about my new job that I've been applying for to go overseas which I'm still waiting on whether i can be successfully placed. I'm anxious about finishing my placement for teaching some time in term 1 or term 2 and I'm anxious about money. I'm just always anxious about everything. Eating and sleeping and driving my car and whether it will break down when I need to be somewhere. I really hate having generalised anxiety disorder. Hmmm. I just feel like my anxiety thoughts are getting out of hand and I am either stress eating or avoiding responsibility. :/ 

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hi @mspaceK! Wow, you have are balancing a lot of different things at the moment, which can be overwhelming for sure. It sounds like you are keeping track of everything really well though, but I'm sorry it is causing so much tension and anxiety for you, that must be really difficult Smiley Sad 

Anxiety runs in my family, and I've first hand felt its effects, so can relate to the desire to sometimes avoid everything completely, or to stress eat. I think that's natural in all of us, but you seem really self-aware of when it's becoming excessive, which is very important.

 

Can I ask, have all these anxieties been accumulating, or have you recently felt triggered by a certain event which increased your anxiety?

And what positive techniques for self-care do you have at the moment? Personally, I often write out my anxieties in a journal, which helps me almost map out what's going on.

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hey @mspaceK,

Congrats on applying for the new job overseas, that sounds amazing! I remember you were pretty excited for it Smiley Happy

I think I remember you saying that you've had these feelings of anxiety before study and money, am I right? Would you say the anxiety level is at the same as what you've had before? Perhaps you could try using some techniques that helped you in the past and see if they work again this time?

Good luck on that job application and look forward to hear from you!

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hi @RevzZ & @sweet_baking.

 

In terms of self-care I've just been allowing myself down time and relaxing by reading, seeing friends, watching movies and playing video games. I recently moved house so I've been settling in here. It's just knowing that everything is starting back and knowing things are changing. It's scary. I keep doubting my ability to be able to cope with it all even when some of it hasn't even happened yet. It's a confidence thing. Hmm. 

 

It's not that bad the anxiety level but it is affecting my sleep a little bit and a little bit with eating too. My get up and go attitude is kinda lacking. I'm not even really sure what i want to do with myself. 

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Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Oh @mspaceK! When did you move houses? There was that time when you were planning to move and saving money as well so that's a huge accomplishment having moved houses! (I was on holiday for a bit so I might've missed a bit of news)

It's good to hear that you've been giving yourself space to relax and distract yourself so well done! Being unsure isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you look at other people who seem to have their life planned out and you compare yourself to them and wonder what you're doing wrong but I reckon it's good to be a bit unsure. It just means that you're learning from these experiences, even if it doesn't feel like you are.

Have you thought about adding something in your morning routine to help you get up and go? I hear they've got an alarm clock that bounces and runs away to make you get out of bed and it's exhilarating having to chase and look for it every time. That might be a weird and silly example but perhaps you could find something like that to help you. Maybe even putting an alarm in a different room so you absolutely have to get out of bed to turn it off? Have you got any suggestions?

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

@mspaceK the different strategies for self-care are awesome, you really seem to be aware of what will help you get in a better headspace and relax so really happy to hear that!

 

I am in a similar position to you with things being new and starting up again, and understand how that feels scary and overwhelming... but I agree with @RevzZ in that being a bit unsure can actually propel you to try new and wonderful things other people may not necessarily think of.

 

It's quite natural to doubt yourself when you have so much to balance, but from what you've been saying, I think you've achieved so much already! Moving house, applying for a job overseas while also starting one here, these are all scary yet exciting things which I definitely commend you for! Sometimes remembering how strong you've been with these events can help increase your confidence for facing the future. Having more faith in your ability to cope may also help with getting up and increasing your motivation Smiley Happy

 

Do you have any techniques which have helped your motivation in the past?

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

@RevzZ@sweet_baking 

 

I moved houses just before Christmas and then had almost two weeks off work. Normally I have a pretty flat out schedule that keeps me pretty busy and so I always have stuff to do. I know that my motivation to do anything except go to work is pretty low even though I have written down things I'd like to do. It's almost like I'm not doing anything unless I have to..rather than in my free time doing the things i really want to do. I feel like something is wrong with me because of that. I feel like I'm probably just being lazy. A really lazy person. I want to make a commitment to do things. I know in some respect I'm already doing alot. Am I being too hard on myself? Am I not being hard enough? I don't know. My anxiety gives me a warped perception of my achievements and life in general. 

 

For ages I have been saying I want to write a story book and read this book series and play these video games and prepare notes for my teaching placement. Yet - I've barely done any of it. I'm so annoyed at myself. I'm going to start doing some of it again. It's just I have no one to keep me accountable. I have nothing to lose by not doing it. Shouldn't my passion and desire for it outweigh what seems like pure laziness? Yes. 

 

I feel like my anxiety prevents me from doing things I like to do even when there is no pressure to do them. :/ 

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

It sounds like you're trying to find a balance somewhere between finding the strength to do things but also keeping the anxiety at a manageable level, am I correct @mspaceK? (Feel free to correct me if I got it wrong) Would you say that it feels like these things are connected in a circle right now, where changing the amount of work done affects the anxiety levels?

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

I'm not really sure @RevzZ. It's more I feel an anxiety towards everything that I do and I think it's because of this fear about the sense of failure and not being good enough because of being a perfectionist. 

 

I wrote in my journal last night about how I'm not really happy with what I've been doing with myself. Honestly I hate being a teacher because I get so anxious about everything. People give me great positive feedback yet I still feel like I'm never doing my job well enough. And then I think about other things I'd like to do like singing and dancing and story writing and acting and how I'd never be good at those things either because of my anxiety. I just have no confidence in myself whatsoever.  Sorry for being so negative. I feel like i just have to get these thoughts out. I don't know what to think or feel or do. Everything needs money or experience. I feel stuck. Yet at the same time I'm working towards things. 

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

That must be so hard to feel that way @mspsceK. It sounds like you have a lot of interests and things that you enjoy doing but anxiety can get in the way. That sucks so much and I know you aren’t alone!

I also had a look at some of your other responses and it sounds like you are lacking motivation and feeling low. It must take a lot of strength to deal with all of these things at once!

I am wondering if you talk to anyone else about this? (Friends, family or health professionals) ☺️
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Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.
– Henry Ford