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Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hi @T4ils. I don't really talk to professionals anymore. I feel like it doesn't help. It makes me feel like I'm a little kid and like I can't take care of myself. At least - i haven't talked to a professional for a couple months now. Not face-to-face at least. 

 

There is so much going on in my head at the moment. I'm having trouble controlling my anxiety attacks. I hate it. And the worst part is that it comes and goes in phases. I don't even realise when I'm becoming like this. But yeah - i guess i am suffering a bit with low motivation. I'm trying to get myself out of it. I've given myself a fitness plan to work towards and just doing little things here and there. 

 

As it's still holiday period I'm only working half days and so most mornings i have nothing set to do until work. It's hard getting myself up in the morning when i don't have to be anywhere. I feel like I'm forcing myself to do things and also deal with things that I really don't want to. 

 

And I'm angry and annoyed all the time too - but mainly just around my family. I keep having these outbursts at them and it makes me feel even worse. I wish this didn't happen. Smiley Sad 

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

@mspaceK you never have to apologise for being negative, it's a lot of pressure to deal with when feeling so overwhelmed. I find it incredible how strong you are to still have a desire to find your motivation, despite this anxiety which is shadowing you at the moment!

 

I feel that despite what you've achieved, and what you continue to achieve, it's that lack of confidence that contributes to your anxiety, and in turn, the anxiety also lowers your confidence, almost feeling like a vicious circle, which is really difficult to deal with. Is that how you feel sometimes?

 

I think it is natural that when you're feeling these outbursts of anxiety, you will get a bit annoyed with people around you Smiley Sad 

Are you able to talk to your family about these outbursts, try and explain your situation? It might also be a source of support, as you aren't keen at the moment on professional help.

I'm sorry you've had condescending experiences with therapists in the past, and I understand how you feel as I have as well. Sometimes it's about finding the right person, who can give you your autonomy, but also be your guide at the same time, even if it might take some time.

 

I think it's incredible how you're still motivating yourself to have a fitness plan, and the journal writing is a great expression of releasing your frustrations. 

As for dealing with things you don't want to, what kinds of things are these if you don't mind me asking? Are they triggering the anxiety phases, or increasing them?

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Thanks for getting back to me @sweet_baking. I definitely feel like my lack of confidence is the driving force behind my anxiety and that it is my anxiety that causes this lack of confidence too. It is so frustrating. 

 

I know that I have been feeling very negative about things lately and having negative thoughts. I'm trying to break the habit of these negative thoughts and to challenge them. It can just be difficult. I want to succeed and enjoy my life so I know I still have to keep at it. I did speak to a sibling about why I have been feeling so angry and they understand my anxiety but we haven't really talked much about how to help it. 

 

The stuff that is causing me anxiety is work (as per usual), i'm trying not to let little things get me down and just remain positive. And the other thing is my eating pattern and sleep routine is wacko at the moment. It is a slow working progress. Things I tend to avoid at the moment is basic tasks like getting up when my alarm goes off. I think my body isn't tired enough because i've been struggling to sleep. I want to exercise and tire myself out, yet at the same time I can barely get myself to do anything. I know i need to start thinking positive again. 

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hey @mspaceK, it's great to hear that you still want to remain positive. You're right, it is a slow working progress, but you will get there.

As for your struggles to get to sleep, I find that practicing mindfulness (e.g. I use the Smiling Mind app) before bed helps me ease into sleep. Do you think that might be helpful?
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

@mspaceK I bet it is incredibly frustrating to be stuck in that loop, but it's good that you are so aware of it, as it sounds like despite the negativity arising from it, you continue to keep trying to break out of it.

 

Challenging and releasing negative thoughts, as you have done, is really important but I can understand just how difficult it is and to convince yourself to keep fighting them! Well done on your strength in not giving up!

I'm happy to hear you talked to your sibling, did it feel good to share what was causing your anger and anxiety? Sometimes it's a good first step just to release the emotion, then work on a solution gradually - would you feel comfortable opening up more to them, and try talking about how to help handle it?

 

It's such a good goal to want to think positive again, and gradually, I know you have the determination to get there, even if it doesn't feel like that at the moment Smiley Happy

Right now, it seems to be that one thing is affecting the other, and these in turn, also lower your motivation in other areas... it can be slow progress to try and fix up your patterns as you want and bring back good habits, but in my experience, maybe focus on one thing at a time?

For example, if you're eating pattern isn't as you'd like, how about focusing on routinely eating well, just focusing on improving that. It will lead to more energy, and so you can next focus on fixing up the basic tasks that you feel too tired to do at the moment, like waking up on time? From there, you move on to sleep... etc.

Do you think this one-step process might be something to try?

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hey @sweet_baking and @Esperanza67. Sorry for not replying sooner. I have been listening to these calming piano sound tracks and meditation before sleep and waking up that has been a little bit helpful.

 

Although - my sibling thinks I should be seeing someone for my anxiety issues and/or speak to a doctor about getting medication to help me handle it. There is no way i want to go on medication though. 

 

Hmm. There are some things on my mind that i have been journalling about but in all honesty I have been struggling with myself and i don't really know why. It's like I'm trying to be strong and put on a brave and confident face but inside I'm crying and actually scared. I feel so pathetic. 

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hi @mspaceK no worries, no need to apologise Smiley Happy

Those are really great ways of trying to sleep better, really happy to hear they have been a bit helpful! 

 

I can understand medication isn't the desired option for a lot of people, I too prefer to have an alternative. Is that the reason you do not wish to seek professional help right now, because they might insist on medication?

It's nice though that your sibling is trying to look out for you and suggest ways of helping. That support is really important, and glad you have them to talk to as well.

 

I promise you that you are not pathetic at all! It must hurt a lot to feel that way about yourself Smiley Sad

You are someone who is balancing so many different things, it can be difficult to not let that be overwhelming. And I think you putting on a brave face is a testament to how strong you are, and how self-aware you are, and as hard as it might feel, it's something to be proud of.

Have you found journalling about those things in your mind has helped?

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

@sweet_baking honestly i don't feel like it is helping much either. I had a really bad day at work today. I'm feeling a lot of pressure in my job position. I cried a lot. And i don't feel like talking much. And my motivation is pretty slim right now. :/ 

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

hey @mspaceK, I hope you're doing okay right now. I'm sorry to hear about work; I hope you were able to do some activities to rest up and feel better!

Re: Anxiety about work and pretty much everything

Hey @mspaceK, sorry to hear that Smiley Sad. Like @sweet_baking has said, please don't push yourself to go on medication if you're uncomfortable doing so. But I'm pretty sure you can still seek professional help and still not take meds because you feel uncomfortable in doing osat the moment. Does that sound okay to you?

_________________________________________________________
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around