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Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

Hi everyone @mrmusic @redhead @Stagnator @LeoTheLion @T4ils, I just thought I would give everyone an update first; I got an extension until next Saturday however it turns out I didn't need it and have handed up the assignment.

 

I don't really have any friends in uni besides my friend from high school and no one in my course so I can't ask friends for help. I have always been bad at making friends or making the first move; I had it all planned out before I went to uni all the clubs I would join and I'm almost a semester in and haven't joined any... whoops. 

 

I have been considering seeing the uni councillor but I might just wait until I see my therapist in 2 weeks as on the website for my uni councillor it says they usually only do short-term councilling not regular sessions to free up appointments.

 

 

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Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

Great to hear that you've submitted the assignment already @Charlie-29-1999!

 

And yeah, I hear you on the making friends front- it can be a little tougher in uni (particularly if you're an introvert like me) since everyone just disappears after classes end, so unless you've been paired up with some people for groupwork in can be hard to get in touch with classmates and form friendships. Personally, I think you're on the right track with joining clubs/societies - everyone who's there generally wants to be, and odds are that if you're both in the same club, you probably share at least a couple hobbies whether it's watching movies or taking photos). It can be a lot to keep up with club activities between all the stuff that your courses throw at you, but I would say that it's definitely worth the effort at the end of the day (even if you only manage to only stick with one society).You can gain some valuable experience (which'll be important for jobs later on) and you can develop some really great relationships with people who'll always have your back. I still keep in touch with a good number of the friends I made in clubs at uni.

 

Dealing with the academic side of things also gets better as you go from first to second to third semester - one of the best (and arguably, worst) bits of uni is that it forces you to learn how to study on your own without teachers throwing homework at you everyday. It takes some getting used to, but once you have it figured out, it'll all feel much less panicked. Joining a club could actually help with this too, since there's usually at least a couple second and third years around to share their experience and study/course tips.

 

In the meantime, I think going to see the uni counsellor could be a good idea even if you don't end up being able to see them long-term. Uni counsellors generally have a good idea of the support services (e.g. medical services, counselling, mentorship programs) and academic systems (e.g. special provisions for exams, extension applications) that the uni may have, and it never hurts to know where you could go for some extra help when you need it Smiley Happy

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

 Hey, @Asche thanks for the reply Smiley Happy 

 I am also introverted and very anxious, to be honest, I have a list of potential societies (I have 2 or 3) I am thinking of joining but because of my anxiety, it is difficult. Also I happen to be transgender and I have been having trouble accepting it (I have never said it aloud) and asking for respect from others so my GP and my therapist have been asking me to join an LGBT club for about a year but I'm too scared to do it so I figured I'd do it at uni but I'm scared of joining clubs anyway and the fact that I want to join an LGBT club makes me very nervous, the thought of walking to the place and into the room freaks me out and I have no one to go with Smiley Sad 

 

I have had a few group assignments and got on with people in classes, however, I only really connect with two of them through the others are nice enough (I hang out with them in class). I only see them in class and talk for 30 min nice every 2 weeks and I'm too awkward to reach out to them over Facebook and seem weird and we are all so busy it's unlikely I could hang out with them. 


My uni also has a program for first-year students in psychology and health science faculty called the peer mentoring program, essentially if you sign up you are paired with a 2nd or 3rd year student with similar academic interests and they help you get used to uni but once again I am too awkward, anxious and uncomfortable to do it as I don't like going to meet new people etc alone.

 

I'm still really nervous about booking in to see the counsellor and I can't book online so I have to call them and phone calls scare me.  

 

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

@Charlie-29-1999 

Its really understandable that you feel scared and apprehensive about joining a university group / society - a lot of people feel that way.   And I can see how it must be even more difficult to consider joining an LGBT group, especially if this isn't a community you've identified with before. 

Thank you for opening up and sharing your identity with us as someone who is transgender - even in the online space, that takes a lot of guts, and here at RO we are really proud of you for taking that step.  Do your GP and therapist know that you are trans? 
Meeting other people from the LGBT community could be a great next step in increasing your confidence and self-acceptance , but I know that's easier said than done. 

You could try speaking to someone from Q life over the phone or online - they specialise in LGBT counselling and could support you through this process -( they are free and you don't need an appointment. ) 


_____________________________________________
I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

Yeah my GP and my therapist know I'm trans so do most of my immediate family and my friends, though my family and friends don't call me he or use my prefered name because I'm too uncomfortable to ask them to and when I ask my friends to and they say it's a habit and that they will never stop calling me the nickname I have had for years (Sharon) no matter how many times I have asked them too Smiley Sad But I'm a push over and don't have any other friends and I don't really have any friends I can talk to about serious stuff they just are never serious or listen to me so that sucks. 

 

The LGBT club actually has a meeting this week Wednesday and I really can't decide if I should go.

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

It took my like 3 years before I finally went to clubs and societies that I had first joined back in my first year of uni.

I encourage you to go because,
1. everyone at the club wants new people to come. The people who have joined the club have largely joined it because they're wanting to meet people. The people who run the club REALLY want new people so that they have a club to run, and a club that is able to continue to run.
2. Most people at the club know what it is/was like to go to one of these for the first time. They're likely to go out of their way to be super friendly and welcoming and inclusive. Granted, especially depending on the type of meeting this may not happen, but people involved in this clubs really want to be welcoming.

Especially, on both of those points, with LGBT uni clubs. They've all had the major fears and anxiety, and they all want a nice big supportive community.


What are your thought on going?

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

Hey @Charlie-29-1999, have you given the LGBT club meetup any more thought? It is really hard to start something new, so you are brave for considering it. It sounds like it might be something that you really enjoy but don't forget that if you are ever feeling uncomfortable, you are always welcome to leave!

I am sorry to hear that your friends aren't really understanding of how they address you. Do you think they might not get how important it is to you? Maybe over time you might feel more comfortable asking your family to use your preferred name... it is a really big step!
—————————

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.
– Henry Ford

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

Hi everyone thanks for the replies

 

I did actually end up going to LGBT club afternoon tea, it was pretty decent it was just hanging out and drinking tea and eating food and having a chat and I spoke to a few people I think I might go back next fortnight. 

 

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

@Charlie-29-1999 - That's amazing!!! Well for going despite how nervous you were about it! 
Sounds really positive, - let us know if you go back next time. 
How's everything else going? 

_____________________________________________
I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Anxiety & Stress over assignment

That is awesome @Charlie-29-1999! Amazing job. It seems like you had a good time at the afternoon tea, let us know how it goes next time Smiley Happy
—————————

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.
– Henry Ford