Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

For the last 12 months I've dealt with horrible thoughts of my long term crush (7 years) being seriously injured or killed. As I began to focus on my year 12 exams they went away but they've come back and my general anxiety has been worse than ever. I've been shaking all weekend and fighting the urge to cry. The few people I have told, my mentor and two very close friends, have suggested I speak with him about it but I'm not sure how to bring it up. ive also put it off because I don't want to stress him out but I'm not sure how much longer I can cope. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and suggested to see a psychologist but I couldn't go through with it because I'd have to tell my dad and my previous experiences with counselling haven't helped . Please, please help!

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

He knows how I feel about him but just wants to be friends

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

Hey @KjStormy


First of all, congratulations on getting through year 12. Smiley Happy

It sounds like you are having a horrible time with your anxiety and I am sorry to hear that. If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you want to tell your dad that you are seeing a psychologist? You don’t have to go into details and the psychologists are sworn to confidentiality unless you are at risk to yourself or others or disclose a serious offence. You can read a little bit more about this in our factsheet on age and confidentiality.


Having bad experiences with counsellors probably doesn’t help either, but I implore you to continue seeking help. There are a range of reasons as to why you may have had such an experience, but at the end of the day, you just have to remember that they are people too and just like everyone else, there will be some that we just don’t click with.


What coping techniques have you used in the past? We have a thread here on the forums for various techniques, although it doesn’t quite live up to its name yet, so if you do something that isn’t listed, please feel free to add it to the list.


Have you considered trying out your local headspace or even online? Remember that lifeline (13 11 14) and kids helpline (1800 55 1800) are there for a chat, as well as us here at RO.


Please keep us updated,



My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

Hey @KjStormy
What kind of counselling have you previously used? Sometimes it can take a few goes to find the right counsellor for you. You could also try online counselling services such as KidsHelpLine or eHeadspace to see if that works better for you. These online services might also be able to help you with your situation with your dad.
Does your crush also know about your anxiety and depression? Confiding him in about your anxiety might provide an opening spot for you to explain the thoughts you've been dealing with.

Merry Christmas.

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

@stonepixie I don't want to tell my dad as he would be curious as to why and I don't want him to know the reason as my parents view my feelings for this guy as a pathetic crush and tend to be annoyed with me for not moving on. I would need him to pay for it and he wouldn't see this as a reason to. I will have a look at the relaxation techniques thankyou

@N1ghtW1ing I have had 3 counsellors, and a couple single session ones. I just find the formality of it all uncomfortable and some have been outright judgemental. He knows I have panic attacks but he doesn't know about the depression and anxiety. I'm trying to find a way to open up to him without putting pressure on him or making it sound like I blame my anxiety and intrusive thoughts on him for leaving

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

Hi @KjStormy. Just a little info on seeing a psychologist, if that's an option you are interested in. You can visit any GP (on your own Medicare card if you're over 16, or your parents) and ask about a mental health plan. That will entitle you to 10 free sessions with a psychologist per year so your Dad won't need to pay. You can ask the doctor for a referral, or you can use it to see a psychologist at Headspace. You can check here to see if there is a Headspace Centre near you, and maybe give them a call to see what they require to make an appointment and what is covered by Medicare.


It's great that you're going to give some of the relaxation techniques a go. There are some good apps in The Toolbox too, if you have a minute to take the quiz. Please do let us know if you find one that works for you.

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

@KjStormy I think checking out the suggestion @ElleBelle gave with a GP. Is it possible for you to change your counsellors? What about online counselling, have you tried that? You might find that the anonymity helps you communicate with them better. You can also with KHL request to keep the same counsellor with your sessions. I'm not sure if that's the same with other places, eHeadspace too perhaps.

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

Thankyou for all the input everyone. I will try contacting my kids helpline counsellor again as she was the most helpful. He is going to call me tonight and I'm going to try and talk to him about it, hopefully that will end well but I am nervous.

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

That is really positive that you're comfortable chatting to your KHL counsellor again @KjStormy. Good luck with the chat tonight and don't feel you have to rush through; share what you're comfortable with this time and keep a note of anything you'd like to chat about at another time. If there is anything, of course!


Good luck! Smiley Happy

Re: Anxiety and intrusive thoughts make it hard to cope

Hey @KjStormy,


How's everything going today? I won't say too much today as I think all of the other posts have outlined my thoughts as well.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've had a bad experience with counsellors/psychologists in the past. It's important that these kinds of supportive practitioners do not pass any judgement whatsoever because passing judgement isn't helpful or thereputic for you at all! I really hope you find someone who you feel comfortable and relaxed around. Although these sessions can appear to be very formal, if you think about it as a conversation with another person it could make it a bit easier.


I'd just like add to what @ElleBelle has said about Medicare and so on. It is true that some practices will allow you "free" sessions if they bulkbill, but if it's a private practice, they may also have a gap associated with their services. I'm aware that the rebate is $124.50 for clinical psych's and $84.80 for non-clinical. 


Anyway... that is just some stuff to help should you decide to visit a psych. 


Back to you Smiley Happy


Have you noticed what triggers these negative thoughts for you? It must be so difficult dealing with all of this when you feel like you're on your own.


Please remember that we are here to help,