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Anxiety and relationships

Hey guys and gals.

 

I havnt been on here for a while. I just wanted to update you with how im dealing with my anxiety. My boyfriend has been helping me deal with my anxiety. it has taked a while but i have made progress. I made it to my best mates wedding without throwing up or having an attack "yay"

 

Matt has been teaching me breathing techniques and what i need to do when i am feeling anxious or sick. i love him very much for putting up with me.

 

I got a new job which is really testing me. I suppose i can cope with work because i have done the same thing for sooo long now that it is just in my nature. Soo that is all well and good so far.

 

Unfortunately Matt and I have separated. I dont know why this has happened, he didnt want to discuss it with me. I cannot understand why people do not explain things when something goes wrong, they just leave me in the dark and think that i will cope.

Im doing my best to hold it together but i have been slipping back to my old ways. I do not want to see anyone, or go out anywhere. I dont even want to go to the weddings of people that i know well. I have been trying to get over him, but without knowing what went wrong it is hard to do.

havent slept a wink in 2 weeks.

 

 

I really hope that i can help anyone who has anxiety. It is a long process but absolutely worth it if you keep at it.

 

much love

xxxxx

 

 

 

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Re: Anxiety and relationships

hey @motorhead 

 

I'm so sorry that you and your boyfriend broke up. Break ups can be really hard but it's worse if you're dealing with other stuff at the same time.

 

Here are some tips for dealing with break ups that you might find helpful. It's really important that you be as gentle with yourself as you can and try not to do anything that causes you more pain than you're already feeling.

 

Have you got some good friends you can talk to, if you don't feel like hangng out with them? Or a counsellor?

 

Here's the link to everything about stress and anxiety and Here's some stuff on coping.There's heaps of good stuff there. Check it out and let us know what you think. Smiley Happy

Re: Anxiety and relationships

Hi @motorhead , it's great to have an update on how you are going. Breakups are always hard, especially when as you said you've been left in the dark about everything. Maybe after a little bit of breathing space he will be more inclined to discuss what has happened? As @NigioC said it seems like you have a bit going on and talking to a counsellor might really benefit you. Getting sleep is also pretty vital in order to give you the strength to deal with all the other issues you are dealing with, have you thought about consulting a counsellor or even a GP about techniques to help you sleep at night? Please keep us updated with your progress and stay strong Smiley Happy

 

Re: Anxiety and relationships

Hey @motorhead 

 

I am glad you have come back to update us Smiley Happy That is really good that you had someone to help you and teach (ie: breathing techniques). Some progress is better than no progress, so be proud of yourself. 

 

Working is stressful for anyone, so you should be really proud of yourself for being able to do that. 

 

I am really sorry to hear that you and Matt have broken up. It is really hard, especially when you dont have an explanation. Please remember that we are all here for you. I know right now you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel but things happen for a reason, and maybe in a while you can look back with some clarity. Keep strong, you are doing amazing. Maybe have a look at ways to deal with a break up . 

 

Make sure if things get a bit hard that you keep in touch. Try and get some sleep as well, I know it is so hard but sleep is an amazing thing and might make you feel alot better. Have you looked at ways to help with sleep

 

 

Re: Anxiety and relationships

Hi there. You have received some wonderful advice from the members! When break-ups occur, it's normal to want to 'know why'. When relationships end, people need to have clarity, and finality to be able to understand, accept (or not) and progress with their lives. When a partner simply ends things without a valid reason, self doubt and insecurity can creep in and become all-consuming, affecting your thinking, moods and your behavior in general. The thing to remember is, when you have not been satisfied with the 'why', you have 2 options. Persue a response that satisfies you, or say ; well I'm not happy with the situation but, people are not perfect and don't always behave how we would like them, so tough, I value myself as a person. I'm going to have my sook, and then I will wipe away my tears and get on with my life. Believe me, there are wonderful boys out there. Give yourself time. Don't stop yourself from enjoying the company of friends. This only punishes you. And you have done nothing wrong. Mishaps, relationship break-downs happen. It's not always the desired outcome. Sometimes though, these things happen for reasons beyond your understanding at this point in time.  Be strong and learn from your experiences. Enjoy your work. Being productive is wonderful, it will encourage growth and confidence. Never be afraid to challenge yourself and seek better. And you will find it xx

Re: Anxiety and relationships

hey guys, thanks for the support. Im trying to stay strong. I have a wedding coming up soon where i am the best man. that will be very trying. Just gotta hold my head up and keep moving and stay busy i guess.

 

xxxx

 

Re: Anxiety and relationships

@motorhead It's good that you've found some strength to stay strong, but don't feel like you have to ignore your anxiety and put on a brave face. I hope the wedding goes/went well, you'll make a great best man Smiley Happy