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Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

Yeah, it was really a big thing to come to terms with @nyke. I had a really promising future in the sport, but my grades were falling because I had no time to do any work. My family is still getting over it, 2 years later Smiley LOL. My parents get it though, because I’ve been able to do SO much more this year -- debating team, music and student council among a few other extracurricular things.


Yeah, I plan to make myself clear this year, and I’m going to run it through with the counselor beforehand so that she can back me up on certain things (I saw her when I was getting out of the sport a few years back, so she understands it all). I’m a bit iffy about whether I want to bring up how he (the head teacher) shouldn’t have done what he did last year – I haven’t said anything to him or anyone else about it until now. But now that I’ve got the confidence back, I really want to, yet then again don’t want to step out of line haha.


I definitely relate to not being able to get my words out when nervous Smiley LOL. I typically am better at expressing myself in writing because I have time to go back and edit/change what I say; I most likely will do that.


The school counselor understands the issue, so I’m comfortable discussing it with her. I don’t really want to bring this back into my parents’ world, it will just fluster them this early in the year.


If the head teacher doesn’t understand the situation for the second time, I’ll have no problem taking it further with senior staff. Now that I’m a senior, I feel like the teachers respect me more, so there’s plenty I can talk to. I find it ridiculous how this same head teacher talks to our year group about mental health and looking after ourselves, like Smiley LOL. I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t like a student complaining about his lack of care for students’ mental health issues.


However, as for the actual day, I will most likely just walk away and sit down again -- I mean is he going to drag me to the diving blocks? Smiley LOL

I hope he gives me a detention after that haha. Giving me a detention for HIS lack of care and understanding, that would be pure gold if I made a complaint.


*I just want to recognise how great this feels actually talking about this. I’ve tried to talk to friends about it but they just tell me to stop complaining Smiley LOL*


**I read your reply when you posted it this morning, and I started writing a reply, but realised that I sounded like I was scheming a grand plan against him Smiley LOL, I hope this reply isn’t too reflective of that haha.**

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

Hey there @unwind, it sounds like you have an excellent plan in dealing with the situation, it doesn't sound like a grand scheme at all Smiley Wink

It's wonderful that the school counselor is supportive of you, having someone you can turn to is always helpful when things get rough. It's okay that you don't want to share with your parents either. It goes to show how compassionate you are that you're thinking of them.
Writing is always a great way to get our thoughts down before we share them, it can take quite a lot of time to think of what to say, and sometimes we remember things later on so being able to go back and edit can be so helpful Smiley Happy

Hopefully, if you do need to go to other teachers, they'll be able to support you as well.

I hope you are having an excellent day! Smiley Happy


I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

@unwind the end of your post made me smile Smiley Happy Scheming a grand plan? Really? I totally missed that bit Smiley Wink Smiley Tongue
But it also sounds like using a bit of humour has helped you cope with the situation, would you agree?

The irony of it all is ridiculous! Maybe a point you could make to the teacher in your meeting (when it happens) is that he is constantly talking about mental health and looking after yourselves and that you not competing in the swim race is looking after your mental health.

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

"like I was scheming a grand plan against him"
 This is SOOOO relatable!! Smiley LOL 


Your plan sounds really well thought through @unwind! I think it would be worth bringing up the situation at the swimming carnival even to just put it on record; you should be able to do it in a courteous way so you don't step any lines. For example, instead of making it about the head teacher, as in: "you made me feel awful last carnival // you shouldn't have done that", which sounds like you're telling him how to behave, you could make it more about you, as in: "I felt really uncomfortable last swimming carnival when you called my name out // can that not happen again please?". It's a polite request that also shows that the situation affected you, so if your head teacher has any empathy, he should recognise the problems on his own accord and potentially even apologise for it (although you shouldn't go into the meeting expecting an apology, of course). 


It's fantastic that you've got a good relationship with your school counselor! I think not mentioning the situation to your parents is a good idea because we all know how parents can be, although it might be worth considering what you'd do if the headteacher // counsellor // other staff member contacts your parents or tries to contact you through your parents after the meeting / carnival . I don't quite know school obligations when it comes to these things; they might be concerned or need to check up, etc. Smiley Happy



If this does escalate than I do think that a complaint would be appropriate, you've already taken all the other avenues you'd need to take first. Hopefully it won't come to that though! You're doing so well, I'm extremely proud haha!





Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

That's definitely true @Bee, I 100% use humor as a defence mechanism in most situations. Most people know that if I'm not making a situation more light-hearted then I'm on the brink of exploding Smiley LOL


I really want to point that out too, but I don't want it to rub off as a personal attack kind of thing (even though it really is). Maybe I'll say something like "WE always talk about mental health at school, even dedicating a week to raising awareness for it, and competing in the swimming carnival really affects my mental health for a few months afterwards. How am I meant to take in what you say to us if you're making my mental health issues worse?" Maybe I shouldn't say that bit Smiley LOL


It frustrates me because a lot of the teachers at school don't really understand mental health. From the content of their speeches, anxiety is feeling nervous 10 minutes before a speech and depression is feeling sad after getting a bad grade. I won't even go into the others. They try I guess. *sigh*

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

@nyke makes an excellent point about making the point about you. In my experience, it usually comes out with a better result and shows a lot of self-awareness Smiley Happy

@unwind Smiley Very Happy I feel like you and @lokifish or @annabethxchase would get along and have some pretty hilarious conversations with all your sense of humours combined in one conversation! Smiley Very Happy Smiley Tongue
I like the structure of what you've written to bring it up, (except the crossed out bit Smiley Tongue maybe not say that lol) XD (ps. how do you do that smiling face with the eyes as ><)

I can hear that you feel the teachers don't really understand mental health very well at your school. I know when I was in high school there were some teachers who got it and others' who didn't. And I really like that you can see they are trying, and it can feel so frustrating when people don't understand mental health properly.

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

@nyke, I find it hilarious from an outsider's perspective because he's probably somewhere enjoying the sun and I'm sitting behind the keyboard plotting the demise of his career (joking) Smiley LOL


Thanks for your suggestions of how to approach bringing up the situation from last year, I’ll take those on-board. I really hope at the end of the day he’s able to take a step back and evaluate his actions because I don’t want something like this happening to another kid, especially if they’re younger and haven’t really found their voice at school yet.


I hope that they don’t email my parents. I’ll just explain that they don’t need the stress of this in the first few weeks back to school. But if they do, I mean, what can I do lol? I’m sure my parents will get it, they know what happened last year but I never played it out to be a big deal.


If my head teacher really understood, they would be checking up on me if he made me swim. Some things you can’t just wish away, but I feel like in this situation you can. I mean a swimming carnival is once a year, if I’m not forced to compete, I’ll be fine afterwards. It’s only the other way around that it becomes a problem. (Gosh now I feel like I’m talking to you as you’re my head teacher haha.)


I’m even shocked at myself right now for all this, a few nights ago I was in a mess about it, now I’m just Smiley Surprised reading back over what I’ve said.

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

I've had my defense by laughing activate at some pretty inappropriate times tbh @unwind! Someone told me that their pet lizard had died over the weekend and I sorta reacted by laughing..... I managed to turn my laugh into an "oooh that's not awful" fortunately, my friend just looked at me and said nice save, whoops. >.>


"I’m even shocked at myself right now for all this, a few nights ago I was in a mess about it, now I’m just Smiley Surprised reading back over what I’ve said."

Yeah, hey! It's really weird how we can feel like a confused puddle of mess one day and then become an evil mastermind the next haha

I think the syntax you're looking for @Bee is : smileylol: Smiley LOL

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue

@Bee, yeah, he does. I might even get my school counselor to sneeze or cough or discreetly kick my foot if she thinks I’m getting too heated Smiley LOL


Uhh, about the smiley face thing, I’m pretty sure you’re referring to :smileylol.: (without the .), otherwise idk.  


*EDIT: just noticed that @nyke beat me to it because I'm a literal sloth Smiley LOL*

Re: Anxiety explosion out of the blue


I think it's good that you're trying to keep in mind that the swimming carnival is just one day a year. But it's also okay that this one day means a lot to you, given that swimming used to be such a big part of your life which you feel then started to harm your mental health. And I'm sure you want to get good momentum for your mental health to start the year off, and having something which could be stressful at the start of the year is worrying. At least since you stopped swimming it sounds like you've been able to have a more balanced life.


I'm sorry that the head teacher hasn't been as understanding as you've needed him to be. It can be difficult to advocate for yourself when you're vulnerable, especially to someone with authority over you. Thankfully you're thinking about seeing the counsellor about this, maybe it'll be good to have a staff member who understands the situation and can be on your side. I'm also glad you feel like the head teacher doesn't give you the understanding you need then you can feel comfortable speaking to more senior staff.


Hopefully, your head teacher will be kinder this year, but it sounds like you've got people from the school you can turn to if things don't go as well as you'd like, I hope that makes you feel more confident dealing with the situation.