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Re: Anxiety through the roof

Hey @scared01 and @RevzZ. Yeah definitely. Tonight was good. We caught up and had a nice dinner together. Smiley Happy Now just gotta get through my last two assignments. 

Re: Anxiety through the roof

thats really great @mspaceK

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Anxiety through the roof

My personal life is going so positive at the moment but I can't say the same for my immediate family. As some of you know, I moved out of home because it is a toxic environment. I have been living away from my family for over 2 years now and it has been the greatest, but also hardest journey I have been through. I felt so guilty, but I've had to distance myself from feelings of guilt and the problems my family are facing. But stuff is getting to me, emotionally. It is not my job to 'fix' their problems, but I also feel like at the same time I should be around to support them. But I don't know what to do because whenever I get involved it becomes too much. I either get too overwhelmed, interfere and get rejected, get anxious and upset and it's like my strategies don't make a difference.

 

But things are going too far. It's like I have pretended like this stuff isn't happening so I don't have to deal with it. Part of me doesn't feel like it is my problem to deal with it so I have been keeping my distance. But it hurts. 

 

My dad has depression, doesn't work, lost his business and has been emotionally abusive. 

My mother is probably depressed too, but she seems so narcissistic, she favours my sister and barely talks to me. She hardly contacts me at all. She works full time and is supporting both my dad and my sister.

 

And my sister has a disability and has a gambling problem. My family already has money troubles. I was at their house the other night and caught my sister trying to gamble online so now her computer is confiscated. But she had a complete meltdown in front of me saying how she wanted to die and kill herself and how she is a mess and how she never gets to see me or my other sibling. And she thinks we don't care about her and never want to see her. Smiley Surprised She is majorly depressed and anxious and lonely.

 

I just don't know what to do. I can't be around there for long times because of the tantrums and arguments and yelling at each other. I just can't. I'm sorry but I can't handle it. :/ 

 

I want to help, but not at the expense of my own mental health. Of course I care but it is just too much. :'( 

 

@Bree-RO@Ben-RO

Re: Anxiety through the roof

Hey @mspaceK , sounds like you're feeling pretty stressed out by this. It's so amazing how you care about your family so much. I think it's normal to want to help them and want to 'fix' things, but at the same time it's not really your responsibility. 

There are ways you can still be supportive but not get too involved too, by getting them to get in touch with services and supports, and occasionally checking in on them. 

It sounds like your sister's situation is pretty serious. How old is she? Do you know if she is getting any help? It would be a good idea to give her the number for Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467. Do you get along with your sister much? Maybe you guys could talk about an activity you could do together, or spend some time outside of the house.

And at the same time for yourself, remind yourself you have nothing to feel guilty about. You try to do what you can and that is a lot. It is so difficult to try to help someone who doesn't want it too. 

 

-Lina/RO

Re: Anxiety through the roof

@TOM-RO - she's nearly 29. Hmm. I don't know what kind of support she is getting. I don't really know what my parents are doing. We get along mostly., when my mother doesn't interfere. I'm trying to think of stuff we could do together i just don't know what. 

Re: Anxiety through the roof

Family stuff can be really tricky @mspaceK... in regards to doing stuff with your sister, maybe you could start off small, like watching some TV together or going for a walk?

Getting out of the house could be temporarily helpful. Thinking of you!

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Anxiety through the roof

@letitgo - Sorry I have been so busy recently that I have barely been on my computer or phone for this. Yeah - i'm thinking of playing video games and just talking over phone every now and then and see how that goes. 

Re: Anxiety through the roof

hi @mspaceK how are you going?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Anxiety through the roof

@scared01 It's been a rough week. I've been really sick for a few days and not working because of it. There are some big things happening next month including moving house and i'm trying to finish this training for a certificate qualification I need as well as trying to get stable work over Christmas. I'm okay - there's a just a bit of uncertainty in my life at the moment which is causing anxiety and there are some moral obligations/dilemmas i'm trying to get over. 

Re: Anxiety through the roof

@mspaceK Uncertainty x moral obligations doesn't sound like a fun mix so can understand completely feeling a bit rough. External events sometimes seem way bigger and scarier in the moment too. You're an incredibly intelligent human being, all of these things are achievable for you.

Once you are feeling better I hope you  remember to take things task by task, not all at once. You've got this, we're here to support you as you go. Heart