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Anyone else in this situation?

Hi everyone. I'm Isaac, 14. I'm bisexual, and I go to a school where the kids aren't accepting of LGBT+ people. I might be moving to a co-ed school soon. Hopefully that happens because I feel like if I start fresh I can be myself. I feel like now (with the school I'm in and with the social situation I'm in) I can't really be myself, so my being bi becomes sort of like a separate thing rather than being a part of my life. I was wondering if they're are any guys here who are also experiencing this? Would love to chat and talk to someone who knows what this feels like.


Hi Issac. Personally it would be hard to give you the right advice as I have never been in that kind of situation before but, from the knowledge I do hold, the only piece of advice I can give you is to be yourself and never change for others. Being yourself is so much more important than the opinions of others. Stay Real Mate Smiley Happy 


Thanks @kaiden11, I'll do my best 🙂

Re: Anyone else in this situation?

Hey @Isaac2554, welcome to ReachOut forums Smiley Happy


I understand completely where you're coming from -- I'm gay and go to a Catholic high school. It's a really challenging environment to be in because most people hold very negative views publicly. I haven't come out to any of my school friends because I know that it would make school a really unsafe place for me. However, you'd be surprised how many of your peers honestly didn't have an issue with it, it just becomes a problem when kids get together and collectively verbally bash LGBTQ+ people to look cooler, putting it bluntly.


I agree with you, it's almost impossible to be yourself when a major part of your life is hidden away from everyone around you. Have you thought about coming out to anyone outside of school, so that you don't constantly have to keep yourself separate from your sexuality? I've come out to a few friends who don't go to my school and I feel really good when I spend time with them. Smiley Happy


It sounds like a great plan to start fresh if you're moving to a co-ed school, however, do you have a good support network if things get difficult? I feel like that would really help, at least having someone there who you can talk to about the whole situation.


I know there a few people around the forum who've experienced this -- I'm sure they'll find their way here.


This forum is a really great place, so feel free to be 100% yourself around here Heart


I'm around now for a while if you still want to have a chat Smiley Very Happy

Re: Anyone else in this situation?

Hi @unwind. I came out to my Mum, one of my aunts and two of my (also gay) cousins. They took it well as our family has always been really accepting of everybody. I haven't come out to anyone outside of my family as I'm worried that they won't be as accepting.

Re: Anyone else in this situation?

Yeah, that's understandable, but congrats on coming out to people around you! That's a massive achievement regardless.

There's always the worry that people won't be accepting. Are there any ways that you could see if someone is accepting of your sexuality? For example, watching a movie with them featuring a gay couple -- you could see whether their reaction is negative or positive.

I introduced one of my friends (outside of school) to Shane Dawson (a bisexual youtuber) who has a boyfriend. She watched some of his videos and always comments on how she finds him and his boyfriend cute, so that indicated to me that she doesn't hold negative views towards LGBTQ+ people. I came out to her recently and she was very accepting of it.

I'm glad you've opened up here, it can get rough when we don't talk about these things. By the way, have you talked to your mum, aunt or cousins about your concerns?

Re: Anyone else in this situation?

Thanks. I think I might tell my family friend. I've been friends with them for a long time, and I know they're accepting of this sort of thing. I have talked to my aunt and cousins about my concerns but not so much my mum. Me and my family are on holiday at the moment, so it's been kind of hard to get time to talk to her alone.

Re: Anyone else in this situation?

That's great, I'm sure that if you know they're accepting then all will be fine. Has your aunt and/or counsins given you any advice as to how to approach your concerns?

Also, if it possible to get her alone, I think it's a good time to talk about your concerns with your mum while on holiday, unless it will upset the holiday majorly. Everyone is way more relaxed on holiday and your mum won't be distracted by work or other commitments, so the conversation will flow better -- that's my experience anyway (with a different situation).

I've got to go to dinner soon, so I might not reply to your next message for a while (a good 45 minutes).

Re: Anyone else in this situation?

The advice that my aunt and cousins have given me is to maybe avoid telling the people at school and just to stick to family and friends outside of school. Yeah, I'm going for a run along the beach now so I'll have a chat to her.


Hi @Isaac2554! First off, congrats on coming out to yourself! That can be a journey sometimes, with the mixed messages that we receive from those around us. Have you ever talked to a friend or adult (e.g. your parents) about how you're feeling right now?

I graduated from a religious highschool about a year ago, and find myself liking boys much more than girls, so I feel for you! Smiley Happy I'm also going to tag a few others who found themselves in a similar situation. @unwind @Sunflower18

Have you thought about what "being yourself" looks like? Do you feel like you're not acting how you want to act, or wearing what you want to wear, or talking about what you want to talk about -- or something like that? It is possible that you could still express yourself without coming out, if you don't feel comfortable or safe in the current social environment you're in. Smiley Happy