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Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

I'm fairly certain my sister has BPD, because I read a book called "stop walking on eggshells, how to get your life back when you think someone you care about may have Borderline Personality Disorder" and it basically explained all the horrible traumatising things she did to me my whole life, and that I don't have to put up with it, and I ended up deciding to stop letting her abuse me, but she still rages at my mum and her new victim who lives with us now. At the moment she's threatening my mum to "smash her head through the wall like a bull in a china store" (???) And I read in the book I mentioned before, that you can actually call the police and they'll come and diffuse the situation, but that book was written based in a different country so I'm not sure if it's the same rules for Australia... So, does it have to be physical abuse to call the police?

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

Hey @neko - sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time withy our your sister. You can absolutely call the police for emotional abuse and threats - that's against the law. In fact, what you are experiencing is classifed as domestic violence.


The police can diffuse the situation - some are better than others - and they can also put a protection order in place specifically ordering your sister to not be abusive. She can still live with you etc, but the AVO states that she must not threaten or abuse you guys. It's not a criminal charge and won't be on the criminal record - however if she breaks the order, then it does become a criminal matter.


You can call the police, and also get support here.
You shouldn't have to live in fear - it might be the prompt your sister needs to finally get help for her mental health.

Online Community Manager

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

@neko yep you absolutely can! is it is against the law, they can help you and your family so dont be afraid! Smiley Happy
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

Before you do anything drastic, I really suggest you seek professional opinion. Labeling someone with a particular mental instability is a serious thing. Ask your mum? Maybe your school councilor? (Very much like googling sickness, not really a wise first step) But yes, if a situation is getting more and more violent and borderline physical damage, law enforcement can be called.

The wise thing to do is talk to your parents, professionals psychiatrists etc before you diagnose your sister yourself.

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

It certainly can be damaging to self-diagnose or make presumptions about the situation of others @lovin each day, and it can benefit the individual if they seek help with a professional themselves. In this situation neko is right to seek the assistance of police when feeling threatened, don't you think? Experiencing violence in any form is a really terrible situation and to be going through that with a sister would be extraordinarily hard.


@neko I just want to say that I am sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time with your sister. You have been incredibly strong to speak up about this. It's hard when loved ones don't treat us as we expect them to but seeking help when you are feeling threatened is absolutely the right thing to do.

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?



Yes, law enforcement is necessary if personal safety is threatened. But do remember the consequences of going to straight to law enforcement. I feel it is necessary to inform @neko about self diagonalising because it is something concerning @neko's family members and announcing one of your family member has some form of mental illness is a life changing thing for the whole family. if the parents' did not know about this and suddenly the police turn up at the door, what follows might not only make make things more complicated, the stress it that follows might be even greater. Even calling something like is more sensible thing to do.


That being said, if the parents knows about this  and yet takes no action to prevent or change it, and there is nothing more else you can think of to keep yourself safe then it is justified for police interference. 

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

I hear what you are saying @lovin each day but it is important for us on RO to listen to the reason neko was seeking our support.


Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

@Kit I know, and I support neko. There are many times I feel like calling the police after my old man gave me a beating. However, but I feel obliged to inform neko from what I have seen and experienced in case he missed out some information that would be useful to him.

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

@lovin each day it was good of you to give some advice based on your situation, and you must have seen some parallels between yours and neko's. It is also good to hear that you support neko in whatever they decide to do


@neko definitely speak to someone if you feel worried or scared for your safety, and like @Sophie-RO said she might be able to get the support she needs because of it 

Re: Are you allowed to call the police for verbal abuse in the family?

Ohh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say it like that, I'm just never any good with words and I was trying to write quickly and wasn't thinking, I definitely said the wrong thing, um, I said the stuff about BPD because I was worried people might think I was just exaggerating or something, like when I was a kid, if I tried to tell people what she did to me, they didn't understand and said it's "just sibling rivalry" or "everyone beats up their little siblings" but, the book explained everything about BPD and how to know if you're a victim in an abusive relationship, and it was like reading a book written about my life.. um, so I was just trying to explain my situation a bit, but it came out all wrong, and I absolutely would never ever tell anybody in real life that I think she has Borderline Personality Disorder or even mention her name, um and, my mum is the one who gave me the book, her friend recommended it to her after she told her about my sister's behaviour and she read it before I did, and, I thought I might have had to call the police because she has actually hurt me and my mum a lot in the past, sometimes so badly I had to go to hospital, yet every time somebody says something about her threats she says "You know I wasn't serious, I would never do that" but she has done it, all of it, so I am still terrified every time she threatens me or my mum. I didn't want anyone to think she wasn't serious and I really didn't want mum to get hurt. We have suggested for her to seek professional help but unfortunately she doesn't want to.. So, thank you for pointing out my mistake, I do understand that I shouldn't have said that, and, most importantly that I can't claim she or anyone has any kind of mental illness, but, that's why I said it all wrong and I am sorry, and next time I will try to think more carefully and say what I'm trying to say properly.