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Awkward Gifts From My Estranged Aunty.

Okay so back story is my mother and father got divorced a long time ago when I was a kid. 
During that time my Aunty on my fathers side had done nothing to support me, she didn't contact me. She didn't come to my birthdays, didn't even know when I was sick or went to hospital.

We have a very estranged relationship, she may as well be a stranger to me now and I don't really need her or my father now that I'm 20, it's a bit late. 

I was pretty much invisible after they divorced and my dads side of the family did absolutely nothing to reconnect (Especially my Aunty, Dads sister and my DAD.)

So essentially I became an adult without any input from that side of the family. The only people that made a difference in my life was my Mother and my Nan, no other person stepped in to raise me or give a shit.

But lately there's been this awkward thing where I run into her at the community Centre I go to.

She always acts like she's glad to see me and since she's a jewellery maker she gives me these strange gifts of like bracelets and stuff and acts as though we've always been close when we never ever have.

I don't want to throw them away and even though I'm angry at her it's still not appropriate to throw them in the rubbish So I get left with this large collection of jewellery (That I don't like) from a person who thinks that she can buy back the years and years she actually neglected me. 

I don't know what to do with them and I don't really want to accept gifts from her anymore, she's already destroyed whatever relationship could be built and I feel really uncomfortable around her because of her neglectful behaviour.

On top of that she says she's thinking of going to the same University as me and I literally could not think of anything worse than having to see her on campus. Campus is my anonymous space nobody knows me there and that's how I like it. 

Anyway any Ideas on what I can do with the junk she gave me? 

Re: Awkward Gifts From My Estranged Aunty.

Hey @YunoGasai,

 

That sounds like a really tough situation. I can relate to getting unwanted gifts from people you don't want to know. Is there anywhere you could donate the jewellery? Or maybe you have some friends who might like it? 

 

Have you considered talking to your aunty about how you feel? Maybe she would back off if she knew how you were feeling about the situation.

 

Hope this helps!

Re: Awkward Gifts From My Estranged Aunty.

Hey @YunoGasai,

From my opinion, it sounds like your Aunty is trying to reconnect with you without having to take responsibility of the fact that she neglected you for so long. I feel like it's quite a common thing for people to try and buy back someone's affection so that they don't have to say sorry or own up to the harm that they've caused before. I agree with @dog_lover94 in that maybe you could give the jewellery to friends who might want it, or donate it to a charity if you don't want it in your room.

Do you feel like clearing the air with your Aunty may help with some of the feelings that you're having about her trying to get back in touch? I think you're well within your rights to want to talk about it with her, especially because she's been absent for so long. It may be that she's trying to establish a relationship with you and doesn't know how to start, so that's where the jewellery is coming from.

Let me know how it goes :-)

Re: Awkward Gifts From My Estranged Aunty.

I don't really have any wish to reconnect with her I'm not looking for a relationship but thank you for your consideration I've contacted her via text saying I'd rather we didn't talk to each other anymore. I'm waiting for her response. Not as a bitter thing but this type of relationship can't be fixed, I don't want it to be. It's already too awkward I don't think I could ever feel comfortable with her. 

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Re: Awkward Gifts From My Estranged Aunty.

Hey there @YunoGasai

It's okay that you don't want to reconnect with your aunt, when families hurt us it can feel like we have to get along with them but it's always your choice. It's great that you contacted her and told her how you were feeling. Have you heard back from her yet?

 

 

The others have given some fabulous ideas in what to do, especially with the jewelry. Donating it sounds like a wonderful idea, what do you think?


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