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BIRTHDAY BLUES (It's my party and I will cry If I want to)

Hi my name Is Yuno and my birthday is coming up very fast.
I will be turning 21 and It's nothing to be happy about.
Birthdays in my opinion is mediocre celebrations about getting closer to old age. 
Where people who have never given a single fuck, pretend like they've always cared about you. 
Yay.
Half the time they don't even call or say anything to you, but it's something about this awful date that makes people turn to mush. 

They really couldn't care less, it's for keeping up appearances. 
Why should I be happy? 
21 years of my life and I'm in the same mundane place I've always been for the last 4-5 years of my life. 

Money-less, bored and spiteful. 
I'm doing a degree I'm not even sure I like, tidying up a house I hate, and best of all I'm flat broke so I can't even hang out with the people that DO seem to give a shit (my friends). 
I might even cry I'm that miserable.
God I hate birthdays. 
Sometimes I just wish I could sleep through the birthday date like it's some nightmare and continue on with my own sad pathetic life,
Birthdays are overrated and I hate that mine is so soon. 
Any advice on how to get through this stupid and traumatic event? (My Birthday) / avoid all the fake people that suddenly "care"?

Re: BIRTHDAY BLUES (It's my party and I will cry If I want to)

Hey @YunoGasai , birthdays can be a really challenging time - sorry to hear how tough it is for you. 

As you said in your title - you can absolutely cry if you want to - nothing wrong with expressing how you feel. 

When is your birthday? Perhaps you could plan to do something that you feel comfortable with - maybe watching some movies at home, or arranging to chat with one of the friends you mentioned who care about you? 

 

I know many other people on the forum have struggled with this kind of thing before too - so hopefully you will get some insight and advice from others  too. Heart

 

 

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I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: BIRTHDAY BLUES (It's my party and I will cry If I want to)

Hi @YunoGasai, my birthday can be a particularly hard time for me too. A few of my birthdays have been tinged by family dramas and fighting, so it's difficult not to remember those incidents as the date approaches.

It sounds like you're unhappy about your circumstances at the moment. How would you feel about doing something you like on your birthday by yourself or with your friends? I found that I could at least talk about one good thing about my birthday that way. It might also be good to try something you haven't done before on your birthday to keep your mind off memories of previous birthdays.

Re: BIRTHDAY BLUES (It's my party and I will cry If I want to)

Hey @YunoGasai I also tend to struggle a fair bit with my birthday - you're definitely not alone in that regard Smiley Happy

I see that there have been a few responses to your post - what do you reckon about their questions/suggestions? 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: BIRTHDAY BLUES (It's my party and I will cry If I want to)

@YunoGasai hey I'm so sorry that you're feeling shit about your birthday. I used to hate birthdays a whole lot too, like you said they just seemed like reminders that I'm getting old, doing nothing meaningful with my life. 

 

My bday was actually just last week, and in more recent years I've been trying to use my birthday as more of a reflective time when I consider how I've grown and changed. It can be really hard to think of things when everything feels like it's stuck in the same way it's always been, but even little things that have happened e.g. finding a cool new TV show, or learning something that you didn't know before helps to change my outlook on a new year just that little bit. 

 

As for the fake people who tend to pop up when birthdays come around, in my experience, the best thing I've done that works for me is to avoid them as much as I can, and focus on the people who matter. So hanging out with my real friends and family and appreciating my time with them helps me dismiss the superficial people who don't really care about me. 

 

I hope you have a good birthday (if it's not already passed), and that you'll find something that will make this time of your year pass a little easier!