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Back to depression

Hey guys, Before I tell you what's gone wrong for me over the past 24 hours or so, I would like to say a massive thank you! Thanks to everyone who has replied to my posts on here and all the support you have given me. I've tried to support others by replying to their posts and trying to give others helpful advice, it's not easy for me and I'm so grateful everyone on Reach Out has been so kind to me. Also, I would like to wish everyone here at RO a MASSIVE Merry Christmas and have a fantastic 2014!! Okay, so on with what has gone wrong. I know it's so close to Christmas so no one probably cares anyways, but it has been so hard for m today. I was at the beach with my friend and we saw a shark swimming under our surf boards and I had a massive anxiety attack. I was crying and screaming and I started hyperventilating and I was breathing in water and it was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me. Thankfully i wasn't hurt but it was still really scary. Anyway, then I got home and went to my room and I started to think I deserved to be bitten by that shark. I deserve to die. Then of course me being me decided to self harm one day before Christmas and I am so upset with myself. I was going alright up until the past couple of days. Then I got even more upset because I couldn't stop, I cut quite deep and quite a lot. Then I was just so upset I purged all my food up and I am so upset and angry with myself I just don't know what to do anymore I thought I was going so well. I'm a complete failure. Sorry this is such a long post, you're probably bored if you've made it to the end of this post :/ Anyway, have an awesome Chrissy and a great 2014!! Pillow

Re: Back to depression

Hi Pillow,

I'm not one to post but I wanted to let you know I read your post. It didn't bore me.

That is a terrifying experience to have a shark swim so close!! I would be terrified as well.

I'm sorry. I'm not very good at offering advice or comfort. xP I usually try and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day (a fresh start) and it doesn't have to be the same as today on my bad days.

I hope you have a great christmas and enjoy your break! (:
Highlighted

Re: Back to depression

ARGH! OMG I would be terrified if I was that close to a shark! Smiley Surprised Smiley Surprised Smiley Surprised

Hey, Pillow - you are not a complete failure at all! You're here, you're struggling and putting one foot in front of each other every day and you're still going - that is amazing itself. I know it might seem that a lot of peeps have it more together and their lives are fabulous, but everyone has their struggles.

Please try not to be angry to yourself, try to at least say something to yourself once every day - you might be surprised how much that helps.

And the shark thing? I think that's a sure sign you're meant to be here still. If he'd wanted to snack on you he'd have gobbled you up no worries, but he didn't, and you're still around Smiley Happy

Look after yourself and hope you have a good Chrissy too.
JD.

Re: Back to depression

Hi Pillow,

I have had and I'm sure will get anxiety attacks again. Honestly I can't blame you for getting anxiety from seeing a shark. I would most probably get the same.

Hating ones self is a horrible thing. Unfortunately this is a side effect of modern society. You are told by everyone everywhere what you should be like, how to act. what to do. This cause self hate in people when they don't amount whats expected of them.

You need to realize there is nothing wrong with being you or getting scared of a shark. Honestly there is nothing wrong with being scared full stop. Learn to love yourself. One of the easiest way to do this Ironically is to start loving and sharing compassion to others.