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Beliveing the negitives.

This is my first post. I don't know where to start or what to say, but here goes..

I used to be happy all the time last year, throughout primary school. I was smart and doing well in school. I had a strong group of friends. But I suppose none of that is true. Throughout grades 4,5 and 6 I was bullied by just one girl. But that one girl turned into a whole group. Parents & teachers did NOTHING, they didn't think anything of it because I was so 'young'. They even lead ME to believe that I was overreacting and to just get over it. But it was a problem and now I see that. Grade 7 was a good year, the girl had stopped bullying me after teachers finally took notice. But that all changed when I started talking to a guy. He led me to believe he liked me, he was in highschool and had a girlfriend (I did not know this at the time). I went on the same bus as a group of his friends and one day they started saying things to me, and I finally realised it had been a joke the whole time. He had been showing them the messages and teasing me. It hurt but I bottled it up and never spoke of it again. Now I have started highschool and everythings seems to be going downhill. I met another girl and she seemed nice and we are 'bestfriends. At the start we would jokingly call eachother a few names. Didn't mean much. But now im starting to realise that these 'names' are becoming more hurtful and she's not joking as much anymore. Im a sl*t, bit*h, mole etc.. I started to cut myself and nobody noticed, not even her. It has gotten to the point where I can't take it anymore. I'm starting to hate myself, my body, my life. And through all this I STILL value her friendship. Why? Because I don't want to be unpopular. She knows everything about me and if it got out I wouldn't be able to live. I don't tell anyone this because I don't want to appear weak. I feel uncomftable even writing this anonomsly. People say that they are there and I suppose they are, but to me there not. My problem is I want to stop this before it gets out of hand, I don't want to become depressed, although I fear i'm falling into it. Somembody help if you can?

Re: Beliveing the negitives.

Hi dontknowwhattodo,

Thanks being so brave as to share with use here on ReachOut. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time, I had a similar sort of experience in the last years of primary school and early in high school.

I'm really concerned about the self harm, and would encourage you to ring Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.

There are also some great articles on this site that might help you out a bit.

This story called Getting Up Again is a little bit similar to yours: http://au.reachout.com/Getting-up-again

And this one has a bit more info on Self Harm and what you might be able to do to help yourself: http://au.reachout.com/What-is-self-harm

 

I'd really encourage you to talk to your parents or another adult about what you're going through - I know that's really hard, but the bullying and self harm is no small thing and you deserve to have some support through this. You *ARE* important enough to deserve some respect, support & help! And you definitely deserve to be treated better and to have friends who you really trust. Maybe high school will be an opportunity to make some new friends?

 

Take care, and please come back and let us know how you're doing.

 

JDx

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Re: Beliveing the negitives.

Hi dontknowhattodo

 

Firstly, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for posting it is really brave of you and you are such a strong person and you should be very proud of yourself because you are trying to get help and thats amazing. It's terrible that you got bullied and no one did anything to help you and there is nothing more damaging than asking for help and people turning away from you Smiley Sad you are amazingly strong to have gone through that and still tried to be happy. 

 

What that guy did to you was horrible and hurting you like that shows an insecurity he has (Hurt people Hurt people). Have a read on the facts about bullying http://au.reachout.com/Bullying Being hurt and holding it in is very common in some people but it destroys you from the inside out and saying something, talking to other people, talking to family or friends or writing things down can help you express what is going on inside of you and can help you move forward

 

Have you thought of speaking to your friend and asking if the name calling can stop because its really affecting you. Its hard to let go of a friendship I struggle with it sometimes but if its destructive it can really ruin your self esteem and your wellbeing, have a read of this factsheet http://au.reachout.com/What-is-a-bad-friendship

 

Talking about it might help you move in a positive way and its important to take care of yourself because you matter and you are important and if you want to put a smile on your face join some of these forum convos 

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/Three-positives-of-today/m-p/300#U300

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/Self-Care/m-p/7332#U7332

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/What-makes-you-beautiful/m-p/10050#U10050

 

Take care of yourself Smiley Happy 

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Beliveing the negitives.

Thank-you for replying, I really appreciate your help.
I know everybody says going to your parents is the right thing to do, but I just can't. I have started to talk to another girl at my school and she seems really lovely. I will try and continue to make new friends Smiley Happy

Re: Beliveing the negitives.

You made me realise that people actually do get what's happening.
I have tried with my friend but i'm just over it. There's nothing I can do so i'll just find someone else.
Thank-you so much, I really do appreciate it. Smiley Happy

Re: Believing the negatives.

Hey don'tlknowwhattodo,

 

You know, the reason why so many people get what's happening is because so many people go through this horrible stuff at school. At the time you feel like you are the only one, but believe me, all of the good people I know got bullied at some point in their teens. People usually get bullied because they are different in some way. But those differences tend to make you a more interesting person. It's probably not much comfort for you now, but it really is true.

 

I got bullied for some really dumb stuff when I was 13 or 14, but at the time it was completely devastating. I only talked to my parents about it later on, and they were so loving and wonderful that I wish I had confided in them earlier. But if you can't manage to talk to them, having a chat to someone at Kids Helpline might be the next best thing.

 

And do come on here and let us know how you are getting on. We DO understand... and we sure as hell care :-) 

 

Benny

Re: Beliveing the negitives.

Hey dontknowhattodo

Glad we could help and what is more important is that you feel good and you feel happy and if the people around you don't make you feel like that then they are not worth being around.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents I hope you have other people you can talk to and for more resources check this out http://au.reachout.com/Emergency-Help

I hope things work out for you soon Smiley Happy
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Beliveing the negitives.

do not give up. You're not unpopular and you won't be. the world is so much bigger than just your school, you've got your family, your friends from your primary schools. You have to think of the bright side. You're not weak, you're strong in facing this difficult situation.
So what if some people bullied you in the past, that's in the past. You're living in the moment and let the past be past, don't dwell on it. Let it be an experience and learn something from it. Right now, stay positive, face everything with a positive attitude, don't worry if sometimes people laugh at you, 2 years from now do you think you'll remember it? Trust me you won't!
Find a passion, do you like basketball? soccer? playing chess? Find it enjoy it, enjoy life! Go talk to your parents, they love you!!!! They will help you unconditionally. Don't set a barrier between you and them yourself. And life may seem tough at the moment, how about thinking about some positive things? that girl who used to bully you STOPPED! and your teacher cares about you! there's so many people in the school, endless friends you can make isn't it?

Re: Beliveing the negitives.

email me if you feel the need to talk

Re: Beliveing the negitives.

Hi Cassy,

Good to see you back again tonight, how has your day been?

I know forums can take some getting used to, but RO is a very safe place and staying anonymous is part of our guidelines to keep it safe here for everyone Smiley Happy
Because of that I had to edit your post and remove your email address, hope you understand. Definitely understand that you want to talk with some of the people here more, but since these forums are a safe place you can feel free to chat about anything here Smiley Happy
RO's guidelines are here if you want to have a look: http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Welcome-and-Announcements/Forum-amp-Commenting-Guidelines/m-p/16#U1...

JD.