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Best friend 'using' me?

Ok, My best friend and I have been friends for like 13 nearly 14 years (since we were 4). And it has been a roller coaster, lemme tell you that xD. No friendship is perfect but she has betrayed me really badly in the past and i've forgiven her far too many times. To put it kind of blunt, she's a shitty friend and it hurts for me to say that. Like we have the best of times when we're together but lately we barely see each other, she rarely text me and when she does, it's for her benefit! She only messages me when she needs advice (though she doesn't take it)! And when i need advice she just brushes aside and goes on to tell me drama about her and her boyfriend.

 

I feel used. 

 

I don't know what to do, i can't talk to her about it because she'll just keep doing the same stuff over. I feel like she only needs me when she needs some advice. It's sucks! I just don't know what to do :'( 

Re: Best friend 'using' me?

@YourName I'm sorry to hear that and I can tell now I know how it feels. We often feel as if we're not enough for them. Some feel as if they should expect more from their best friends. Since you've been friends more than a decade I suggest you actually talk to her about it even if in the end she's just going to keep doing the same thing over and over again. I myself am dealing with the same thing with my best friend.

For now ask yourself what you want to do and what you want to happen. Maybe talk to her about it? Remember we're here to talk to.

All the best 😊
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Re: Best friend 'using' me?

Hey @YourName, this sounds like a really tricky situation. Sometimes it's hard to face the fact that someone who's been in our lives for such a long time isn't good for us, and I get the sense that's what's happened with you and your best friend. Is there another friend you could talk to about how the situation is making you feel?

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Best friend 'using' me?

Hi @YourName, I relate completely to the situation that you are currently going through .I had a very similar experience when I was in my last year of high school with a friend that I'd had since grade 3. To me, the breaking point was understanding that even though we'd been friends for almost 10 years, it doesn't ever mean that she is allowed to make me feel shitty or put me down. Is this conflict between (a) how they're making you feel and (b) how long they've been friends with you something you can relate to?

 

As to talking it all out, I totally agree with @letitgo on seeing if you can find someone to talk through it all and gain their perspective. Do you have a friend or a parent that you feel could shed another light on your situation?

 

Let me know how it goes! Smiley Happy

Re: Best friend 'using' me?

Hi YourName!

 

That's a crap situation to be in. It feels awful when a friend seems to be using you. Perhaps it might be worth distancing yourself from her for a time if she's making you feel this way and spend time with other friends who are more supportive of you. For sure though, that's definitely a tricky situation considering how long you've been in each other's lives. 

 

All the best in sorting this out. 

Re: Best friend 'using' me?

Hi @YourName, It's been a while - how are things going with your friend?

Re: Best friend 'using' me?

hey @YourName hope everything is going well for you! if you need someone to talk to feel free to come and talk to us here!

"let your smile change the world but don't let the world change your smile." -unknown

Re: Best friend 'using' me?

Hi @YourName

That's a very sucky situation to be in. I've gone through a similar situation myself! I had a friend who I've been friends with for about 7-8 years and I was in denial when she treated me badly because we've been friends for so long! Then I spoke to friends and family about the situation and it really just made everything clear to me. Please make sure to take care of your wellbeing, sometimes people go down different paths. It's important to make sure you maintain your happiness. 

Please keep us updated!