I can't even start to describe what's wrong with me. There's nothing left to be said, and even if there were there's no way for me to say it. The only way I can think of to say anything about it - whatever "it" even is - is through a barrage of insults towards myself or to describe what else I feel like I have to do to myself... Which would just get me in trouble here. I know I shouldn't but something's going to give.
Take a moment to just relax, breathe, keep calm and just "be you" (I know, i sound like some hippy right?) Wrong!
Find one thing in this whole world that brings a glimmer of hope, happiness or a smile to you. Focus on that and keep the postive vibes flowing through you.
If it helps write down your pain, worries, feelings on paper and then throw that out and let the "bad stuff" go..
You as a person have so much to give and you have a purpose in life, thats why you are here now.
Let the pain fall away from you do not let this take over.. not now, not tomorrow, not ever.
Sending you so much support and strength
Hey @Bay82VU - sounds like some pretty negative thoughts are swirling around up there right now and causing you some pain and frustration. You could call yourself every name under the sun but it's probably not going to make you feel any better. What might make you feel better is re-framing some of those shitty thoughts into ones that provide a little hope and relief. You could try this thread, or some of these techniques. Worth a shot right?
By "what else I feel like I have to do to myself" do you mean self-harm? Have a look at some of these alternatives to self-harm. A lot of them are great for just expressing general frustration and anxiety too!
Have you given any more thought to logging onto eHeadspace and speaking with a counsellor? Seems like now is as good a time as any to give it a go.
Hey @Bay82VU i'm so sorry you feel like this and I know it can be extremely difficult to get out of this 'blah' feeling and it can feel like it wont end... but there are people who care and people who can help to make these feelings go away.
I remember when I first decided to talk to someone about all the yuck stuff happening in my head I was hard on myself because i didnt even really know how to communicate what was going on- or if it was worth talking about (it was and your stuff is definitely worth talking about too), when things started to get really stormy in my head i knew that whatever was giving me my blah feeling was something worth paying attention to and sorting out. The people at eheadspace and kidshelpline are really good at helping with this stuff even when you feel like you cant even explain it yourself- even if all you can get out is a jumble of whatever you are feeling. You could actually start with exactly what you have written here.
KHL also have an email/web councelling option so that could be a good place to start too?
The other reason I wanted to post on here was to remind you that you are not alone. We are here and we care about you.
@Bay82VU You are most definitely worth it, just as much as any of us! We all care about you and you are worth something to all of us here!
I'm sorry you haven't been able to get through to eHeadspace so far. I would encourage you to keep trying as you should hopefully get through eventually. If you having trouble, you can also try Kids Helpline and Lifeline who offer similar services.
Don't worry about not knowing what to say. Many of the people using these services don't, they just know something isn't right and that's why they're contacting them. The people on the other end are used to that sort of thing and trained to help you get it out, so keep trying to contact one of these services; they will completely understand you not knowing how to express what you're feeling and they will try to help you with what you're going through.
You are worth it. Please keep trying with Headspace or Kids Helpline. You deserve the relief of having someone to talk to about everything going on in your head.
Some of the suggestions the others made are really good too. You can redirect your thoughts and attention to more positive stuff, give it a go with some of the techniques that were suggested.
4th attempt with eheadspace and still no cigar.
I want to check out. I'm fucking done with this
I can appreciate how frustrating this is… all I can tell you is that you're worth it and, once you do get through, it will be worth it, too.
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