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Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

Ok so my friend told me that she got with this guy, they slept in the same bed together as well. I slept at the gathering where this happened. The next day I went to my boyfriends house of 6 months. He asked me what happened. I felt bad because there was guys sleeping in the same room as me and I didn't want him to be mad so I told him where everyone slept and that they might have done stuff. I said do not tell anyone! No one is meant to know. A few days later my friend inboxed me asking what I had said to him, I said I didn't know what she was talking about. I straight away asked my boyfriend, "what did you say about the gathering!?" and he said nothing what the fuck?, when I brought it up with him again he got angry, said I was giving him "the biggest piss off" and told me if I "carried on this way don't worry about coming over tomorrow" (to chill at his house). I only told him. My friend then told me that is was her ex-boyfriend who found out through my boyfriend. I don't know what to do... My boyfriend has lied to me? And my friend is angry at me... I apologized for anything that got out of hand from what I said but she isn't talking to me. My boyfriend got a call from his friend yesterday when I was at his house as well asking him to come chill... Even though I was meant to be spending the day with him he said he would go over and I had to leave... I feel worthless and ugly. I'm not good enough anymore... I feel used and I don't know what to do. I just need advice on what to do now from the perspective and understanding that I have been with this person for 6 months now and my feelings for him are very very strong still. The other night I didn't know what to do.. Everything bottled up and I tried to overdose on panadol... Didn't work. 

Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

Hi Jayeo77. This situation with your friend and your partner is obviously causing you a lot of stress, but you've made a really brave step forward coming here to share your story, rather than continuing to bottle everything up. You do not deserve to be in so much pain that you try to end your life. Is this something you are still considering?

 

There is 24 hour crisis support available for you right now at the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. It's free to call and speak to a counsellor at any time of the day or night.

Also, it's very important that you see a doctor as soon as possible, as the symptoms caused by excess paracetamol may take several days appear.

 

You are not worthless or ugly, and nobody has the right to make you feel like that. It's so difficult when you feel like you're torn between your friends and your boyfriend and it's almost impossible to avoid upsetting someone. You have apologised to your friend and hopefully she will calm down and accept your apology. Can you be open with your boyfriend about how he makes you feel when he is dishonest?

 

 

Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

hey jayeo77,

 

That sounds like such a crappy situation to be in. It's awful when you try and be honest and it emds up getting you into trouble. I can totally understand why you would feel so upset. Your bf and your friend are both being very unfair. You have every right to feel really hurt and betrayed. So please don't feel like your only option is to take this out on yourself by trying to hurt yourself. You deserve way more than that.

 

Have you thought about having a little break from your bf and friend? Not breaking up or ending the friendship but just leaving the situation alone for a few days so everyone's feelings can settle down. Maybe at the end of that time, your friend might not feel so angry and your bf might not feel so guilty. It would also give you some time to think about what you want for you. If you're feeling worthless and ugly because of the relationship, maybe it's not the right relationship for you.

 

And please, if you feel suicidal again, please call any of these services or 000. Or if you just feel like you need to speak to somene, they can help with that too.

 

Let us know how you go. Smiley Happy

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Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

Hi jayeo77,

 

I just wanted to pop by and say that I totally understand how you're feeling right now. Trust and honesty in relationships are really important attributes to develop. I think NigioC has suggested a great tips about slowing things down and waiting for the dust to settle. I definitely agree with this, sometimes sleeping on it for awhile can give people the time and space to overcome this kind of thing. Then perhaps you can start having some conversations with your friend and your partner about trust and honesty and respecting individual relationships.

 

Make sure you're looking after yourself during this time. It's a hard place to be in when you want to end your life, but it doesn't have to be that way so long as you can take the first few steps and involve someone, like Kids Help Line, a trusted parent or your GP. Don't be afraid to speak up about how you're feeling to someone as keeping it bottled inside or keeping it a secret can add extra pressure. 

 

Goodluck with the conversations you might have in the future,

 

Atma

Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

Things with my friend settled over. She wasn't even mad at me, infact she was going to apologise according to one of my friends. She thought she was really harsh on me and my friend stood up for me. My boyrfriend however, thinks everything between us is fine. He had the guts to ask me over on tuesday despite everything that had happened and how he used me and ditched me for his friend on the friday i went over. I saw him once today at school in the hall. He looked at me, i could tell but pretended he hadn't and continued to talk to his friend whilst walking past me. this is our last conversation : 

 

him:

 

What's wrong?
??
???
 
 me:
nothing?
 
 
Whatever
 
 
So you probably won't come over today?
 
 
what do you mean?
 
 
Like I was going to invite you over but you seem so mad
 
 
oh ok
 
 
So are you going to be like this all day then
?
 
 
i don't know what you're talking about?
 
 
Fuck off
"Why do I bother"
Have fun at home then
 
 
 
i really do not know what to do :/ i feel he is dragging me down and treating me like shit

Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

Hey Jayeo, I'm glad you have buried the hatchet with your friend and that weight is off your chest.

I gotta say though, maybe your boyfriend honestly does think everything is fine, especially if you haven't spoken to him about how he made you feel when he ditched you for his mate. I'm guilty of telling my boyfriend nothing is wrong when something is. It's usually because I haven't really unpacked my feelings and don't know what to say on the spot, and a little because I want him to feel as hurt and confused as I am. But if I don't say anything, he doesn't know that he's pissed me off and he can't make sure he doesn't do the same thing again!

Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

I spoke to him over the phone about an hour ago... I let everything off my chest. He apologized. He seems to really care but he knows I am still angry. I need advice on whether to stay with him despite everything and go with the fact I love him and he loves me and we only have 8 weeks left or break it off?

Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

What do you mean by only having 8 weeks left, Jayeo?

 

I don't think any of us can tell you whether or not to stay with your boyfriend. Ultimately you will have to make that choice and decide whether to go with your head or your heart. It sounds a bit new-agey, but it might help to meditate on it for a while so you feel calm when you reach a decision. If you've never meditated before, Smiling Mind can be a good way to learn how!

 

Re: Boyfriend is lying to me and my friend hates me because of him.

8 weeks till i finish year 12 Smiley Happy