I am a lesbian and pretty much have been my whole life. I meet my ex girlfriend when she was 17 and I was 20 we were young yet mature to love. We have been together for almost 5 years and I did some things that were not right and it put our relationship in a bad place but we grew beyond that as time grew she didn't want to be with me no more and she moved out to live with her parents so I always tried to get her back but she stated she needed space during this old pace i found out she was seeing someone else so in due time I did the same. We eventually bound our way back together and she end up finding pictures of me and a girl I was talking to to past time and she felt she could never get over this but still remained in my life. She always said she didn't want to be with me because it's hurtful for her to know I was happy in those pictures with someone else. She finally decided to give me a try and put it behind us but she couldn't seem to get over so she moved out and got her own place. My lease was up a mth later so I moved with her and she said we were not together but would be here for me and during me staying there we acted as if we were together. She showed me mixed signals all the time. She says she really does love me but is tired of going through it. I told her it's nothing she is going through I am always here for her I tear her very well in every aspect I have her her everything only to learn she had a friend guy who is 33 and she is now 22 and she introduced me to him as her friend and I told her I was comfortable and she insisted I see how they interact with each other to see they were only friends but I felt he wanted her and she was so naive to it. I ask her on several occasions was she sleeping with someone or seeing someone she told me no and that her personal life don't concern her. I said it does if we are sleeping together and stuff and she goes well I told you I don't want to be with you and I'm like your saying that but your actions shows otherwise. So not too long ago she ask to talk to me and stared crying and told me she was pregnant by this friend she introduced me to and I was instantly devastated hurt crushed and confused. I left slept in my car but came back and we had sex a huge mistake I made. But we continued to live together and she kept sending those mixed signals but I got to te point to where I had to leave because she is pregnant by a guy who is 33 divorced and has 2 kids already and did fed time not judging him but I wonder what she sees in him I guess a lot for her to have his kid. She told me they got drunk and it happen but from there I guess they had sex a few more times. The Doctor told her it would be hard for her to have kids so I know deep down she's happy but she's saying she regret it and stuff and I ask her do she wants to be with him and she says she confused. I'm hurt so the point I don't know how to move on from this I'm devastated I need someone to talk to advice something. I don't need any negative feedback as I am already hurting enough.
Re: Break up
Hi @in a zone, I'm sorry to hear that your relationship is in a bad place right now. Even though you weren't officially together, you were obviously still very close and involved so it's understandable that feel feel hurt and betrayed by this. I know you are confused right now, but do you still want to maintain a freindship with her? At least then you know what you're working towards, whether it's cutting off contact and giving yourself time to heal, or rebuilding the trust and communication with your ex.
Do you have a people you can turn to for support at the moment - friends, family, a counsellor, a LGBTI group?I noticed you are based in the US so the support services we have listed here on the Australian ReachOut probably won't work over there, but there are similar services like OK2Talk that you can get in touch with.
Re: Break up
I know it must be painful and I hope you feel better soon. You will get over this and you will be fine.
I recommend doing a google search on the keywords "broken popcorn machine love"
I hope the article helps you. take care.
Re: Break up
Hey @in a zone that's so rough. I am sad for the losses you have experienced in pursuing this relationship. It seems to me like you are not too sure about what to do next, and also dealing with the understandably big feelings around being in a situation like this. Do you want to talk to us about what to do next? Or do you need support to get through this tough time and the feelings attached to it? Or is it both?
Let us know what we can do to support you
Re: Break up
Hey @in a zone,
It sounds like a super confusing time for you. I'm really sorry to hear what's happened. We aren't here to give you any negative feed back at all, that's not what we do on the forums. Here, you will find people who want to lift you back up and help you fit all of the pieces in your life back together again.
It seems like this has really effected you, and although it may seem irrelevant at the moment, please make sure you do some things for you at least once a day. Check out this thread, you'll get some ideas.
Do you think you'll try and persue this relationship or leave it for now? Do you think it's better that you are apart at the moment?
Seen something fantastic on the forums?